kuljey

I was wondering in peoples experience do addicts ever get better??? What does it really take for an alcoholic/drug addict need? My BF was a meth user, then after rehab he turned to hard liquor--and continues to smoke marijuana. We have been together for 1 yr 1/2 and its been a roller coaster. Due to stress he says he fell victim to using some meth a few times and cocaine. He is in jail now awaiting his 6 month residential treatment program. I have never ever been with someone who is an addict or even used drugs. Yvonne :codiepolice

kuljey

Ps thank you so much for your advice/comments/opinions! :praying

jerect

Welcome to Sr Kuljey : )

There are some awesome recovering addicts that post on this board that are living proof that an addict can get better and live a normal, productive life as a responsible human being..

However, from what I have read on here and what I'm experiancing in my own life with my AH is that the addict has to want recovery and sobriety.. putting down the drugs is the easy part, working a program and waking up everyday choosing not to use is the hardest part. Recovery is not an easy road for the addict or even for us the co dependents. You have to remember that at the end of the day we are all human and we will make mistakes and even relaps. It's a journey not a destination.

Look at your addicts actions and not his words.. If he is still smoking pot and drinking alcohol then he is not serious about getting clean.. a drug is a drug is a drug, be it meth, prescription pills, pot, or beer.. they are all a recipe for disaster if you are a drug addict.

The best thing you can do is to concentrate on your recovery and improving your quality of life for you and your kids. Your Bf is going to use until he is ready and willing to get clean and not a minute before.

You are in a position where you will be able to totaly detatch from your BF's addiction and get the help that you need in order to live a healthier life and maybe even have healthier relationships down the road.. Take advantage of it and use it as a growing time for you..

marle

My daughter used opiates for 4 years, the last 2+ years she used heroin. She lived with a man 17 years her senior who made a 6 figure income and gave her all her drugs. I did not think that she would ever quit until she was 6 feet under. During the time when she was in the deepest part of her addiction I started to work on me. I did not know if she would ever get better but I sure the heck wanted to get myself better. In May she called and was ready for rehab. Nothing that I did made her want to go. She was just ready for something better. She now has almost 6 months off opiates, has slipped a couple of times with alcohol but seems to have gotten past that. I don't know if she will continue to stay clean, only God knows that. But even if she were to go back out I know that, having seen her clean, that she can find her way back when she is ready. So yes they can get clean but only when they are ready to do the hard work will they stay that way. Hugs, Marle

kj3880

Well, yes, it is possible. We do recover!!!! I have 7 months clean off opiates and I do a ton of work to stay clean. In fact, it takes up most of my spare time right now. In early recovery, I need to go to NA meetings, sometimes 3 a day. I read the recovery literature, do service for NA, spend my time off with other people in recovery who love and support me, that I met at NA, and I work the steps. I need a sponsor. I have to share about my feelings with other recovering addicts. I had to let go of all the people who used drugs in my life to stay clean. I had to stop going to bars and parties where alcohol was served, because even though I never drank, I was told that I could become cross-addicted. I had to go to an addictionologist (an addictions doctor) and take medication to stop me from using for a while. I had to commit to taking this medication every single day without fail until I got somewhat better and could taper off of it. I don't use any drugs or alcohol. Just for today.

The above will give you an idea of the kind of commitment that you could expect to see from someone who is trying to stay clean off of drugs. And yes, sometimes our families get just as sick of our NA lifestyle as they did the drugs!!! Luckily though, it is free, so your bank account recovers. And you can expect an addict who works the 12 steps to become a better partner, eventually. It's a lot of work. Maybe that is why the majority of addicts don't do it. Keep being skeptical. Watch his actions, not his words.

KJ

Done_With_It

Yea we can recover if we want to, but you just don't know who will want to.
I have three years off of meth last Friday. I know I will never do it again,
never say never, but in my heart of hearts I know, I'm done.
There was a time, I knew I couldn't live without it, I had to get to where I hated it before I could stop.
I also had to kick out my best friend who I loved dearly to move forward with my life. I think the best thing we can do is take care of ourselves. We can be there for someone, but you said it's been a rollercoaster, is that working for you? When it's not anymore, that's when it is time to get off.
It concerns me his comment,
our entire lives our filled with stress, so is he going to use every time.
I was a victim to meth by my own doing when I did not know any better, NOW I know better. I would really listen to his words and think about how long you want to ride that rollercoaster, they were made to last a short time for a reason.

JMO&E