rozied

In spite of all this posting about the 2nd letter I wrote my AS I still haven't mailed it. I sent 1 letter telling him I wouldn't help with money anymore but the letter where I wrote about my mom not feeling well is still sitting here.
He has to know & I am not blaming it on him as at her age you have to expect something BUT he should know she doesn't need the added stress of his problems.

Impurrfect

There's no harm done in waiting. I think you're working through your feelings/expectations and that is good.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

hello-kitty

(((hugs)))

Letting go is so hard.

He should know that she doesn't need the added stress of his problems without you having to even send a letter. It's common sense really.

Do you think this relates back to the whole enabling thing. Don't do for the addict what the addict should be able to do for themselves. We shouldn't have to explain to them what they SHOULD know already.

I only ask because in my situation with letters to my sons addict father, I always telling him how bad he is hurting his son. He SHOULD know that already though! He really doesn't need me to explain it. I usually don't send my letters because it's just a waste of my strength explaining something that he should know without my help. My strength is better used trying to detach from him.

He probably knows. He just doesn't care because he is a selfish addict.

BBD

Hi rozied, I, personally don't think theres anything wrong with letting your son know that your mom needs a break from all his drama. Just let your mom know you have mentioned this to him in case he decides to call her. Sometimes its hard to do what we really feel is right but in this case~~~~mail the letter and let it go. You've been thinking about this for a bit here and its time to clear your mind. Good luck and smiles, Bonnie

greeteachday

Hi Rozied...Sounds like everything is just as it should be. You have written out your feelings and are waiting til it feels right to either mail it or toss it. I don't think there is a right answer other than what works for you. I too susepct your son knows, it is just that the addict part of him doesn't want to acknowledge it. Many hugs

marle

I wrote many letters to my daughter and then put them in a drawer. She was not ready to hear what I had to say, but I wanted to say it. It made me feel better to write them even though I never sent them. Hugs, Marle

rozied

Oh you guys are just the greatest. You understand without my having to explain. I guess its because we all have people we love that have this terrible illness.
Love To all of you & I pray that everyone of you that have someone in recovery sees them stay that way.
Oneday maybe my son will be there too.

deezaldog

Rozied, You are doing the best you can. You will mail it when you are ready. You are right, he does need to know. Unfortunately, he is an alcoholic and does not see past the tip of his nose. I believe all things come in Gods time, maybe your son would not be open to accepting what he is doing to your mother. When he is able to comprehend the message God will reveal the time. Stay strong. LOL