rozied

My AS got to work release Fri. night. Today Jim is going to take his clothes to him. I wasn't supposed to go as I babysit my 2 little grandsons but now for the 1st time in 3 mts there Mom has them until tonight. Now I feel guilty cuz I'm not going.
Help, I have such mixed feelings about seeing him. A part of me wants to go but a bigger part knows that I have only seen him once since Oct & then I walked out on him cuz he aggravated me so.

wenchris

Try to remember our guilt is always self-imposed. The first time in three months you get a breather and you feel guilty for not immersing yourself in a stressful situation? I say you deserve a few hours alone. Really you do. God Bless You for your sweet and tender heart.

cece1960

((((Rozied))))
I don't bame you one bit. I get stuck on that same seesaw with my son.
I have to remind myself often of several things:
I give my son choices, he makes his own decisions...knowing the consequenses upfront.
One of those consequences may be a cut in communication from his Mom for a spell.
Whether or not I "see" or "talk" to my son doesn't fix anything, other than perhaps my son's feelings.
Sometimes helping him feel better hurts me terribly.

Don't ever feel guilty for caring about yourself ((((Rozied))))

Prayers for peace and clarity

ladyamalthea

I have to agree. I always feel guilty if I don't spend every waking moment on someone else, especially my parents or my sister. I have to make myself remember that I'm no good to them if I don't take care of myself first. Like the post above says, you definitely deserve the time off to yourself.

rozied

Thank you so much Wenchris, you are absolutely right. The kids are my younger sons children. He is a single dad & my hubby & I watch them everyday while he works & then during the work wk keep one of them overnite every weekday night. My younger sons takes them both home every Friday night & I get the wekend off.
My AS will be 42 in Sept & he has caused our family so much grief I can't even begin to tell you. Through it all I do still love him & want the best for him but seing him today would cause me nothing but stress.

rozied

Thanx Cece & Lady, I am blessed to have a hubby that wants me to rest & he offered to go cuz he doesn't want my AS harrassing me................if I go it defeats the purpose. My AS would ask me to run him around & I doubt if he will bother Jim like that.

cece

(((Rozied))))

You have to do whats best for you. You know you have been there many times and now its up to him.
don't feel guilty about not going.
If you went and didn't want to be there it wouldn't help anything anyway.
I am glad he is at least in a positive place for now.
But he needs to know that you matter too and harassing you and taking his frustrations out on you is no longer acceptable to you and you aren't going to show up for it.

hope213

you deserve time for yourself. sometimes it is better when we stay detached from our sons. put yourself first always. hugs,