obsessed

It has been a week or so since I posted, Lauren had came home left again then called crying begging with me to come get her, heard the I can't do this anymore BS, I have heard so many times before, but I wanted to believe her, got in my car and drove 90 miles round trip to go get her. She stayed one night and after I left work texted me and said she was going back!!! I was furious at her and myself!!! On Friday I left with some friends for the weekend at one of their parents cabin and Lauren knew I was going but before I left she started calling and texting just trying to see if she could make me feel guilty enough to stay home and I am proud to report that I went and had a great time!!!!!!!! Got back in town around 4pm Sunday afternoon and she called to tell me she was home, my mother went and got her. I thought GREAT!!!! But a good friend of her's, who does not do drugs , works and goes to college in another state about 2 hours from here, called me last night and wants Lauren to go back to Memphis with her, move in, get a job and start fresh, which I think is a great idea!!!!! Lauren says she is going so we will have to wait to Wednesday and see. I told her it was the choice I thought she could make right so just please pray that she goes.

lilkim

I hope for the best for ya'll. Hugs and prayers!!!!!!!

Ann

Obsessed, your daughter is in my prayers and I hope she finds a better path soon, whatever her choice may be.

There is a saying here, "Wherever I go, I take me with me" meaning that moving or changing jobs may not be the solution unless we are willing to change ourselves. I truly hope that it will be possible for her to stop using long enough to follow through on her plans.

Special Mom-Size hugs to you, I know this is no picnic for any of us.

Hugs

Seagrl7

Bless your heart, I too have an AD (19) and she took off at age 18 to go to Kansas City in the middle of my work day and then didn't answer her cell for 3 days. It was a living hell not knowing where she was. Although a year later she came back home (I eventually kicked her out due to her using) the year she was away suddenly became almost wonderful for me, I got my own life, I met a wonderful man, we have since married, started my own business (struggling but its mine) and I wish that if your daughter does move away, first you will Let go and Let her sink or swim in other words, Let God, I also hope her friend understands she needs to go to meetings while she is living with her and your daughter needs to find meetings or...

like my child, she will come home, worse for wear, and in my case, my child is now even more addicted, is now prostituting for drugs and lives on the street.

I pray for you that you can find some serenity if she leaves but... since I didn't know about Nar Anon and meetings and the like while she was gone, go to meetings every week at least so... if she does come back in bad shape you will have the tools I lacked to be prepared for the storm she may bring back to your life.

If I'd had the tools the pain, horror, self deprecating actions I took toward myself feeling guilty for not raising a normal healthy productive adult would have been so much easier on me.

Meetings, they are so important even if your AD leaves.

Prayers are with you.

sleepygoat

I agree, she is n't going to just stop without major drug treament going on. Wanting to stop just isn't enough, anymore than wanting to not have cancer is enough to treat that disease. but what's cool is that you went away and had a good time!! I'm still trying to figure out how to do that,at least for more than a few minutes or couple hours at a time, at most. Haven't had a whole entire great weekend in.... 2 years. If you can, maybe I can too, so thanks for the hope....

pjbs55

Sending both you and Lauren prayers. Hope if she does move she gets the help she needs. Praying that you have some peace no matter what she does.
Sending mom hugs to you,

ctrom40

Obsessed,

You and Lauren are in my prayers.
I wish you peace.

marle

Adding my prayers. I know how hard it is to let go. Hugs, Marle

caileesnana

My prayers for you and Lauren continue. Remember to take care of you as hard as it is.

susan

grateful2b

Obsessed, good recovery for you that you chose to go and have a lovely guilt-weekend with your friends..
you and Lauren continue to be in my prayers....hugs,grateful

Jody Hepler

You go girl! Glad you went and had a good time. This letting go for me was by degrees - I had to do it little by little. And eventually it really became "second nature" because I just couldn't do the other any more. It took too much out of me, made me almost physically sick - and I almost lost my job because I was distracted, making mistakes, and crying in the bathroom. In some ways, I got just as sick as my ASs.

How I felt depended on what they were doing. And then sometimes they felt guilty because I was upset. A vicious codie circle.

This forum is great for sharing from those that have been there - for stories with hope (both of my ASs are sober today, one 25 years and one 11 months - a day at a time) - and for comfort and empathy when their path wouldn't be out choice.

Keep in touch.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

bookmiser

(((((((((Obsessed)))))))))))

I'm glad you got away for a weekend, just for you.
You deserve it. I'm proud of ya, girl. It took alot of bravery
and guts to leave your house unattended, too. I know when
I left for a vacation a few years ago, I came back to find alot
of my stuff gone. As came into the house while we were away.
I pray Lauren finds a good recovery path soon, as well.
You keep putting yourself first and taking care of you right now.
Some harsh love now....
Don't go to pick her up on a 90 mile trip again, love.
Just don't. You will get through that pang of guilt knowing
and believing that her HP has her in his grasp and will watch over her.
She needs to find her own way home and by your boundries, I hope,
she'll learn to do that sober.
I love ya and pray for your family daily,
Linda

Impurrfect

(((obsessed))

You and Lauren are in my prayers. I'm so proud of you that you went away for the weekend...that is a HUGE step for you, and you should give yourself a pat on the back

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

rahsue

A new start is always a good idea

greeteachday

So glad you were able to take that step and get away. Even happier that you had an awesome time! Little by little, it will get easier.

Prayers for youi and for Lauren that this time is the time she will really want to change. Hugs