NeedingHelp7

Katie, huggs to you. I know you're feeling devastated.
When my AH cheated, it hurt me worse than his relapse did.

You're not a fool.

You did the right thing exposing it the way you did. Exposing it to the rest of family members is important as well, not in a vengeful way, but gently, but it does need to be done. He will me mad, but thats okay.
Little ones should not know.



You're doing the right thing taping calls. Don't let AH know you are doing it.
Save for court, if it ever comes to that.

Huggs and prayers,
NH7

katie44

Thankyou for all your replies. I suppose I am just so angry. He knowingly has used AS also. My son has done a lot of horrible things because of his drug use, but to catch his father fooling around on his mother I know he would be sickened by it. This man deserves no sympathy for anything. What really angers me is that his business associates think he is an upstanding citizen, his family always feels sorry for him. Poor guy works so hard. He better work harder becasue when Im done in court with him h'ell need to find a second income.

Jody Hepler

This is an awful shock and situation - would be for me - but seems like little by little you are finding your voice and your thoughts are sane - and you are muddling through. I'm really proud of you! This stuff is really tough.

Love and thoughts and prayers coming your way,
Jody Hepler

katie44

My thoughts are clear and I am angry, but it just makes me so sad. How could he? I feel as if someone ripped my heart out. We have a long history and have been through so much together. Both our mothers passed away this year. We have been through so much with AS. The last two years have been a struggle to say the least. With the economy business has slid rapidly. Oh what a fool, I guess I am one of those who feels honesty and sincerity is so important the basis of a healthy relationship. I wonder if this is all happening because its supposed to. You know how they say there is a HP that guides us all, Maybe I was supposed to find this out so it would bring to my attention that he has AS lying, and bring to the forefront what a liar I have been living with. To me there is no forgiveness for this. It is disgraceful.

Impurrfect

(((Katie)))

I totally understand the anger, the feeling of betrayal and you are right...a marriage should be based on trust and respect.

Use this anger to spur you on to take care of yourself. He is denying everything because he got caught and he doesn't like it...plain and simple. I also agree with taping his conversations. Just remember once you confront him, put the tapes in a safe place...he will try to destroy the evidence.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but I admire your strength.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

katie44

We'll I taped his wonderful conversation telling AS not to tell me or he would destroy our family. Also got him telling a buddy on the phone it was the best l...y he ever had. Havent confronted him with the tape. Put it in my safety deposit box. Now to get my finances in order, clean up my credit cards etc. Might take me a few months but when the bomb drops he will be in shock. The worst thing is I really think are whole marriage was a lie and Im an idiot. To put your son in that position is disgraceful. To put me at risk, this women belongs to a swingers club and also has one of those creepy bondage sites. I really dont know how I am going to pretend all is fine if we didnt jointly own the business it would be easier.

Chino

katie I've been reading your topic but haven't said anything because I have no advice. I still have no advice but prayers for you and your son, daughter. It takes a strong, courageous and intelligent woman to find their way out and your husband is the idiot for forgetting what you are made of.

rahsue

I am so sorry you have to go through this, and your poor son has to be in the middle, as if he doesn't have enough to deal with too. I will pray for you and your son. I hope your decision works out exactly the way you want.

Hugs and prayers