OT - my nephew
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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OT - my nephew
Friends. I've had a disturbing evening.
One of my nephew's ex-girlfriend's called and I had din with her, which I was thrilled for. That's a whole story - her father just left her and her mother 2 days ago, decided he was gay. Yep -
Argh - these guys, probably drugs and/or alcohol involved too.
Anyway, so this young lady, who I truly admire and am going to watch grow into a productive and SANE human, proceeds to tell me about my nephew at dinner. Needless to say, it surprises me (as in I literally almost fell off my chair), and then her Mom tells me about stuff she found on the net.
So, tonight I decided to see what I could see on the net, and sure enough... My 19 year old nephew owns 2,3 - 4 vehicles - range rover, BMW, VW, who knows really - but high-end vehicles (as in multiples - he really has 1 car). He owns his own business (not) and is CEO (not), has a house in the mountains and in our town, etc. (not not not)
HELLLLOOOO the kid is 19! he's in college and flunked 2nd semester. He's a good kid, he's a great kid - WTF is going on? He has a fantasy life and he hasn't even bothered to alter his name, it's there, all over - he's "cruising the mediterranean" this summer with a sad face? Are you kidding me?
As you all know, I am divorcing my AH - which is really his uncle by birth, but I am his aunt by heart. When I settle in my new space, wherever that may be, I do want to reach out and see if he will spent some time with me. I won't be "family" and trust me, from my view point that is looking like the safest bet this kid might have going. I would never and could never say what I know, or that I googled him or anything, but my heart is breaking. He has SO MUCH going for him, and he's so young, why???? Why is he making all this stuff up?
I know this is so OT, and I know there are more of us who need us for what we need each other for, so really -I don't know. My heart just hurts tonight. I have my stuff I'm dealing with, but from what I've read, the life this kid has created, what has he been living?
I didn't know where else to go. I guess I just needed to get this out.
One of my nephew's ex-girlfriend's called and I had din with her, which I was thrilled for. That's a whole story - her father just left her and her mother 2 days ago, decided he was gay. Yep -
Argh - these guys, probably drugs and/or alcohol involved too.
Anyway, so this young lady, who I truly admire and am going to watch grow into a productive and SANE human, proceeds to tell me about my nephew at dinner. Needless to say, it surprises me (as in I literally almost fell off my chair), and then her Mom tells me about stuff she found on the net.
So, tonight I decided to see what I could see on the net, and sure enough... My 19 year old nephew owns 2,3 - 4 vehicles - range rover, BMW, VW, who knows really - but high-end vehicles (as in multiples - he really has 1 car). He owns his own business (not) and is CEO (not), has a house in the mountains and in our town, etc. (not not not)
HELLLLOOOO the kid is 19! he's in college and flunked 2nd semester. He's a good kid, he's a great kid - WTF is going on? He has a fantasy life and he hasn't even bothered to alter his name, it's there, all over - he's "cruising the mediterranean" this summer with a sad face? Are you kidding me?
As you all know, I am divorcing my AH - which is really his uncle by birth, but I am his aunt by heart. When I settle in my new space, wherever that may be, I do want to reach out and see if he will spent some time with me. I won't be "family" and trust me, from my view point that is looking like the safest bet this kid might have going. I would never and could never say what I know, or that I googled him or anything, but my heart is breaking. He has SO MUCH going for him, and he's so young, why???? Why is he making all this stuff up?
I know this is so OT, and I know there are more of us who need us for what we need each other for, so really -I don't know. My heart just hurts tonight. I have my stuff I'm dealing with, but from what I've read, the life this kid has created, what has he been living?
I didn't know where else to go. I guess I just needed to get this out.
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((((CW))))
I'm sorry you are hurting about this. I'm not sure what to say. I don't want ti minimize it, but at the same time, I wonder...is it just being creative? Is it a silly my space joke? I think some people take myspace tongue in cheek...is it possible? I'm wondering since you said he didn't bother to change his identity. Or maybe he is so unhappy with where he is in life now, that he wants to imagine what he can be. Late teens is an awfully hard time, even with someone with no addictions or outward problems.
Sadly you can't control this either, but you can be what you indicated...a good person who believes in him and wants to be supportive. I think it helps young adults to know someone believes in them no matter how gray things look at the time. Thanks for being there for him. Hugs
I'm sorry you are hurting about this. I'm not sure what to say. I don't want ti minimize it, but at the same time, I wonder...is it just being creative? Is it a silly my space joke? I think some people take myspace tongue in cheek...is it possible? I'm wondering since you said he didn't bother to change his identity. Or maybe he is so unhappy with where he is in life now, that he wants to imagine what he can be. Late teens is an awfully hard time, even with someone with no addictions or outward problems.
Sadly you can't control this either, but you can be what you indicated...a good person who believes in him and wants to be supportive. I think it helps young adults to know someone believes in them no matter how gray things look at the time. Thanks for being there for him. Hugs
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Join Date: Feb 2008
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I know someone that did something similar a few years ago and he was in his mid twenties. His sister was all over him about it and I can still hear her voice. Oh my goodness she wore him out! He said he posted what he was going to be not what he was, and guess what? He did it. He said it's just a dream until you write it down and then it becomes a goal.
Hopefully it's something like that for your nephew and not a more serious issue like dissociative identity disorder. If it were that serious, there would be glaring signs of something wrong that those closest to him would notice.
You're a good lady to want to give him moral support
Hopefully it's something like that for your nephew and not a more serious issue like dissociative identity disorder. If it were that serious, there would be glaring signs of something wrong that those closest to him would notice.
You're a good lady to want to give him moral support
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Thanks you guys. I think what scares me is this isn't my Face or my Space or whatever those things are.
This is a forum for just "one" of his many "high-end" vehicles and he's posting, like we do here, and off-handedly says things like, yeah, I use XYZ on the Cayenne, but when I'm in the mountains I take one of the Rovers.... Well, I've owned my company for 15+ years, and I .... Wish I could meet you for that rally, but I'll be sailing the mediterranean this summer .....
Really, it goes on and on that you can tell this kid is leading an alternate life - It is a fantasy, but that's what scares me, how much is starting to replace reality? He doesn't have a ton of friends, he's a great kid and a good looking kid - and I know I'm biased, but everyone says so so it's not just me - he can be sweet and funny, but somehow his Mom manages to keep him close even tho she says she thinks he should be with friends...
I just think there's stuff going on in that house, or has gone on that I have had absolutely no clue about. It's the way behind every closed door. But, I am concerned, and again thanks - thanks for letting me vent. There's nothing to do. Nothing I can do really either - I just hope, when I reach out, he might reach back and who knows, maybe with a little time - maybe... I hope it's a phase, but really, it doesn't read like a phase.
OK, gotta put the angst away for now -
Hugs you guys!
This is a forum for just "one" of his many "high-end" vehicles and he's posting, like we do here, and off-handedly says things like, yeah, I use XYZ on the Cayenne, but when I'm in the mountains I take one of the Rovers.... Well, I've owned my company for 15+ years, and I .... Wish I could meet you for that rally, but I'll be sailing the mediterranean this summer .....
Really, it goes on and on that you can tell this kid is leading an alternate life - It is a fantasy, but that's what scares me, how much is starting to replace reality? He doesn't have a ton of friends, he's a great kid and a good looking kid - and I know I'm biased, but everyone says so so it's not just me - he can be sweet and funny, but somehow his Mom manages to keep him close even tho she says she thinks he should be with friends...
I just think there's stuff going on in that house, or has gone on that I have had absolutely no clue about. It's the way behind every closed door. But, I am concerned, and again thanks - thanks for letting me vent. There's nothing to do. Nothing I can do really either - I just hope, when I reach out, he might reach back and who knows, maybe with a little time - maybe... I hope it's a phase, but really, it doesn't read like a phase.
OK, gotta put the angst away for now -
Hugs you guys!
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 388
Not to make light of this, but Brad Paisley has a song out right now, called... Online -
He talks about being so much cooler online.
It just won huge awards for the Country Music Association video of the year...
YouTube - Brad Paisley - Online
Maybe it's just a phase for these times.
Just a thought.
Colleen
He talks about being so much cooler online.
It just won huge awards for the Country Music Association video of the year...
YouTube - Brad Paisley - Online
Maybe it's just a phase for these times.
Just a thought.
Colleen
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I hope you're right - that it's a phase. Problem is - with this "family" I'm seeing a pattern! I love my nephews, I don't want them to be their Dad's and Uncle's - they deserve so much more, so I'll keep my fingers crossed!
I'll look at the youtube in the meantime!
I'll look at the youtube in the meantime!
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Ya know, I had a few friends who did this online. They weren't happy with who they really were, so they would make up personas and talk to people and pretend to be someone else. I think it was just means to escape their lives in a sense. The thing is, people have to find meaning in their own lives. They can't just invent a new personality here. They have to WORK for it and EARN it.
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Yep Zombie, I agree with you too. You all are sane, reasonable, rational people dealing with reality! I just hope my nephew will too someday!
You guys are the best! Goodness knows just how many Mercedes and BMW's would I have parked in my "garage" if it wasn't for you all! As it is, I guess I have to stick to my Ford!
You guys are the best! Goodness knows just how many Mercedes and BMW's would I have parked in my "garage" if it wasn't for you all! As it is, I guess I have to stick to my Ford!
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