Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Freedom from Self-Seeking

Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.
--paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous

There is a difference between owning our power to take care of ourselves, as part of God's will for our life, and self-will. There is a difference between self-care and self-seeking. And our behaviors are not as much subject to criticism as are the motives underlying them.

There is a harmonic, gentle, timely feeling to owning our power, to self-care, and to acts with healthy motives that are not present in self-will and self-seeking. We will learn discernment. But we will not always know the difference. Sometimes, we will feel guilty and anxious with no need. We may be surprised at the loving way God wants us to treat ourselves. We can trust that self-care is always appropriate. We want to be free of self-will and self-seeking, but we are always free to take care of ourselves.

God, please guide my motives today, and keep me on Your path. Help me love myself, and others too. Help me understand that more often than not, those two ideas are connected.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

cen616

Wow...how appropriate. Just last night I was mulling over the apparent contradiction I find between my faith (which teaches that one only achieves true happiness and enlightenment by learning to be selfless and acting to serve others) and the "selfishness" of taking charge of my own actions (in regards to the A in my life), setting boundaries, and thinking of myself and my needs. This passage resolves that beautifully.

greeteachday

I still sometimes find myself feeling guilty for exercising self care, but I am learning. This one is a keeper for those times I question myself. To me, exploring my motivation helps. When my reasons are pure, i know the difference.

I have experienced so many blessings in my life recently. Many are challenges; ways I am giving back what has been given to me or reaching a new level of development in my chosen profession. What I find interesting is that it happened once I stopped chasing it. Now my motives are simply to do the next right thing and to strive for my HP's will, not mine. I am finding when I truly let this happen, I am lead to wonderful ways to do his will and I am so incredibly grateful.

cmc

My spirituality rests on the idea that I am loved and valued by my HP who has given me life. When I fall from the ideal of self care, my HP gently reminds me to take good care of the gifts I have been given.

Being in recovery has helped me to actually realize many of the goals I have set to take better care of my self. For many years I could only make pitiful, half-hearted attempts at it, but these days I can reap the rewards of actually treating myself well.