What do you need to accept ?
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
What do you need to accept ?
The sooner we shift our energy from trying to get something from someone who can’t deliver, the better off we are and the sooner we can put our energy into that which is rewarding or enlightening. It took me a long time to grasp this. Wishing does not make anything so.
Please share any struggles you've had with acceptance. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."
My ex, is the father of my 23 yr. old only AS. I have not spoken to him since I drove my son to a treatment center in another state 6 wks. ago. However, the rehab calls him with an update ea. Sunday. I have not asked him to pay any of the exorbitant fees. He has not returned my call or email so I paid him a "pop-in" visit yesterday while I was in his town which borders mine..
He looked awful and showed obvious signs of weight loss. He has a history of Chrons Disease. He said he was sick, but did not specify. I was geared up to voice my opinion about him not communicating or doing what the rehab asked him to do about legal issues and being reponsive to our son. Yea, let's have that conversation for once !!! He looked so bad, I only felt pity for him. When I asked him if he supported our son's placement and could he encourage him, his response was, " I bet he's bored"
Thank God I am the enlightened one (or so I like to think)
He is being all that he knows how to be. I have come to "acceptance" of that.
I divorced my son's dad 20 yrs. ago because he could not step up to the plate, I accept that nothing has changed and he certainly can’t now. He does not even know where the plate is.
Monday marks six weeks that my son has been at a remote inpatient facility.
I hope that means he will get to call home tomorrow. I miss him. Please keep your fingers crossed that I get my call.
Please share any struggles you've had with acceptance. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."
My ex, is the father of my 23 yr. old only AS. I have not spoken to him since I drove my son to a treatment center in another state 6 wks. ago. However, the rehab calls him with an update ea. Sunday. I have not asked him to pay any of the exorbitant fees. He has not returned my call or email so I paid him a "pop-in" visit yesterday while I was in his town which borders mine..
He looked awful and showed obvious signs of weight loss. He has a history of Chrons Disease. He said he was sick, but did not specify. I was geared up to voice my opinion about him not communicating or doing what the rehab asked him to do about legal issues and being reponsive to our son. Yea, let's have that conversation for once !!! He looked so bad, I only felt pity for him. When I asked him if he supported our son's placement and could he encourage him, his response was, " I bet he's bored"
Thank God I am the enlightened one (or so I like to think)
He is being all that he knows how to be. I have come to "acceptance" of that.
I divorced my son's dad 20 yrs. ago because he could not step up to the plate, I accept that nothing has changed and he certainly can’t now. He does not even know where the plate is.
Monday marks six weeks that my son has been at a remote inpatient facility.
I hope that means he will get to call home tomorrow. I miss him. Please keep your fingers crossed that I get my call.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 57
"The sooner we shift our energy from trying to get something from someone who can’t deliver, the better off we are and the sooner we can put our energy into that which is rewarding or enlightening"
I Definitely need to work on this thanks for sharing it unfortunately I'm no where near acceptance.
Hope you get your call
Good luck to you and your son.
I Definitely need to work on this thanks for sharing it unfortunately I'm no where near acceptance.
Hope you get your call
Good luck to you and your son.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Add my prayers to the list, that your son calls and that he has embraced recovery and is on a good path.
Prayers for you too, SS, it's hard being the mom especially when you're doing it alone.
Big hugs and lots of prayers.:praying
Prayers for you too, SS, it's hard being the mom especially when you're doing it alone.
Big hugs and lots of prayers.:praying
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
My struggles with acceptance? It's an ongoing, I hope, lifelong process.
I could give a long list. The truth is that I have made some progress in that area over the years. This passage adequately describes my experience.
"Moving from awareness to acceptance to action takes time, but the benefits are worth the wait. As I learn to accept my defects, circumstances, and feelings, I learn that I am a worthwhile human just as I am. With that kind of self-acceptance, I begin to see my options, and slowly I can begin to take action, to change."
excerpted from Courage to Change, page 92
I'll 'keep my fingers crossed' too that you will get the call you are waiting for. Thanks for sharing.
I could give a long list. The truth is that I have made some progress in that area over the years. This passage adequately describes my experience.
"Moving from awareness to acceptance to action takes time, but the benefits are worth the wait. As I learn to accept my defects, circumstances, and feelings, I learn that I am a worthwhile human just as I am. With that kind of self-acceptance, I begin to see my options, and slowly I can begin to take action, to change."
excerpted from Courage to Change, page 92
I'll 'keep my fingers crossed' too that you will get the call you are waiting for. Thanks for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
(((SS))) - how great that your son has a mom like you! I'm sure it's not easy at times, but how wonderful, as always, to hear about the parents here making educated and thought-out choices and decisions - "Active Parenting" I call it.
My prayers to you and your son.
I have had one of those weeks myself when I felt, literally, myself let go. I feel like I am standing in my own truth - and I have to say, I have not experienced this feeling in years and years. It's liberating to feel compassion, and I have to say some pity too, for my AH. His life is catching up with him quickly and his addiction is solid. I accept his choice. And, I accept the right to do what I need to do to take care of myself and know that I will do what is right for me (and him in turn) in the long run.
My prayers to you and your son.
I have had one of those weeks myself when I felt, literally, myself let go. I feel like I am standing in my own truth - and I have to say, I have not experienced this feeling in years and years. It's liberating to feel compassion, and I have to say some pity too, for my AH. His life is catching up with him quickly and his addiction is solid. I accept his choice. And, I accept the right to do what I need to do to take care of myself and know that I will do what is right for me (and him in turn) in the long run.
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
You can uncross fingers and toes now. I received a call from the director of the rehab today and he informed me that my son doesn't get to make his 1st call home until next Sunday. However, he said my son has expressed that he knows he needs to be there and that he got more serious about recovery this past week. Yea !
It is all good. I am focused on my own projects, weeks fly by so quickly, hearing a good report this week from the director is enough. I am grateful for things just as they are. It has been a long long time since I heard positive news about my son and truly felt no fear, doubt or worry. My husband and I are getting along better than ever. It makes a big difference now that I don't feel that veil of uneasiness. Not being at peace with my son as an addict, took a big toll on me as evidenced now by how much more relaxed, happy, emotionally available and productive I am now. We are all healing.
But you know, I am excited that there will be a call next Sunday.
It is all good. I am focused on my own projects, weeks fly by so quickly, hearing a good report this week from the director is enough. I am grateful for things just as they are. It has been a long long time since I heard positive news about my son and truly felt no fear, doubt or worry. My husband and I are getting along better than ever. It makes a big difference now that I don't feel that veil of uneasiness. Not being at peace with my son as an addict, took a big toll on me as evidenced now by how much more relaxed, happy, emotionally available and productive I am now. We are all healing.
But you know, I am excited that there will be a call next Sunday.
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