katie44

My AS just told us some not so wonderful news. His girlfriend is pregnant!!!! Of course she was on the pill, and he used condoms wich had a rip in them ( sorry to be so graphic) and I was born yesterday.
So we have a 21 year old crack addict that can't even take care of himself, that is totally irresponsible and a 20 year old girl that drinks like a fish.
She does have a full-time job.
I just looked at him in disbelief????? and she wants to keep this child. He has no job but she thinks he will change, she makes min. wage and loves to party. This poor child. What were they thinking!!!!! My best friend fosters babies from drug addicts. They have no life the system keeps putting them back in the home. I said to him how are you going to care for a child, feed a child, I said to him you just dont get to walk away from this. His answer was " I can do it" How could they be so irresponsible? I am so angry right now.

justjo

Hi Katie,
I cant imagine what you are feeling right now. This would be my worst nightmare (I have 3 sons) 1 into drugs and alcohol.
Its hard when our kids are irresponsible and I dont know about you but I had always needed to pickup the pieces for them. Not anymore though. It would be terribly hard bringing a child into this situation and I know I would feel responsible.
How far pregnant is she and could you recommend someone to talk to them? Others will be far more advisable than me, so Keep reading ok.

katie44

Thankyou for your reply, she is approx. 8 weeks pregnant. I cant believe Im going to say this Im not sure if its his child. I havent asked becasue they are a couple, but they break up more then there together. The thought did enter my mind. If it is, he needs to step up to the plate. I dont know who can talk to them. I could call my sons ex drug counsellor, also there are counsellors in the phone book that deal with parenting issues. My whole life I have picked up for people. I just had this need to fix everyones problems. I realize now I have done more harm then good. I am learning to detach from him, as for other people they can fix there problems themselves. Through his addiction I learnt alot about myself. Your right though I do feel a responsibilility to this unborn child. I dont want to, but it is an innocent child that will have no life with those two. I am 44 years old I do not want to raise anymore children. All I can think is this poor child and those idiots!!!!! This was total irresponsibility. There are so many families that want children and can provide good homes. These two think there playing house.

Spiritual Seeker

This is a tough situation to come to terms with.
Remember the serenity prayer.
Big ol' hugs coming at ya as you get use to the idea of your son being a dad.

Freedom1990

Been there, done that, got that t-shirt, unfortunately

The best thing my AD ever did was get her tubes tied after baby #2.

I couldn't begin to tell you everything I have been through with my grandchildren, but this much I will tell you.

I have learned to cherish each and every moment that I have them in my home, which isn't often, and is beyond my control.

I also never underestimate the power of prayer, and keep them in my prayers every night.

aztchr

There is always hope for recovery! Perhaps this could be a turning point?