My story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5
My story
So since I'm new to the site I wanted to share my story and see what you had to say. I have only been to one meeting with my boyfriend and I found it very helpful with talking about my feelings about everything that has happened.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and at the heart of our relationship we are truly in love. When we first got together everything was perfect, I knew that he partied as most guys his age do and we would often party together. Everything seemed perfectly under control for months. He had been very honest with me about his past addiction to opiates (norcos and oxy contin) along with his addiction to marijuana. At the time I thought oh well he smokes some pot, it's not a big deal and I had seen him take those pills in front of me but it wasn't on a regular basis so I thought everything was fine. After getting fired from two jobs and being in a constant state of depression things were really bad. I was always wondering why he couldn't sleep, why he never had any money, why he never had any gas, and why he was always gone. Finally one day I found him walking to the gas station (we lived in the same neighborhood) and when I picked him up he looked completely different. The second he got into my car he said "I have been lying to you this entire time, I am addicted to pills" and he had slit his wrists. Not to kill himself but as a cry for help (I'm sorry if that is graphic but it helps explain part of the story). He cut so that he couldn't lie to everyone anymore about what was going on, he had to tell what was wrong because it was out there for everyone to see. He told me that he wanted to go to the hospital and then begin treatment for his drug problem and I told him I would take him. So after 5 hours in the hospital he was off to the behavior and psychiatric part of the hospital where he remained for 2 weeks and was treated for his depression along with withdrawls. After that he began treatment at a facility where he would go 6 days a week. He was doing amazing, he had become the guy I fell in love with and who everyone knew and loved. He had been sober for 3 months. His psychiatrist prescribed him xanx for his restless leg syndrome (since the medication strictly for rls makes him sick) and he soon relapsed on the xanx. This was almost a month ago and his relapse was a big wake up call. For him he realized how badly he wanted to be sober and everything that he would lose if he didn't remain that way. For me it was almost like a slap in the face. After everything I had been through with him and everything he told me I felt like well here is just another lie and another disappointment. He is still in treatment 6 days a week and going to meetings as well. He is working on getting a sponsor right now too. Despite all this I now find it so hard to trust him with absolutely anything. If he gets a text I have to check it. If someone calls I have to check it. If he looks tired I think he has relapsed and I feel like an over paranoid mother or something. This has been something I've been struggling with and I just don't know what to do. I want to trust him so bad and to believe that everything will be okay but I just don't know how. He is such an amazing guy and I love him with all my heart. Any loved ones out there that can give me ANY sort of advice I would appreciate it more than you know. No one I know has been in my situation and I'm looking for all the help I can get. I'm so sorry for the length of this and I appreciate anyone who got through it all ahhaa. I have never written this all out before so I hope it makes sense. Thanks guys
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and at the heart of our relationship we are truly in love. When we first got together everything was perfect, I knew that he partied as most guys his age do and we would often party together. Everything seemed perfectly under control for months. He had been very honest with me about his past addiction to opiates (norcos and oxy contin) along with his addiction to marijuana. At the time I thought oh well he smokes some pot, it's not a big deal and I had seen him take those pills in front of me but it wasn't on a regular basis so I thought everything was fine. After getting fired from two jobs and being in a constant state of depression things were really bad. I was always wondering why he couldn't sleep, why he never had any money, why he never had any gas, and why he was always gone. Finally one day I found him walking to the gas station (we lived in the same neighborhood) and when I picked him up he looked completely different. The second he got into my car he said "I have been lying to you this entire time, I am addicted to pills" and he had slit his wrists. Not to kill himself but as a cry for help (I'm sorry if that is graphic but it helps explain part of the story). He cut so that he couldn't lie to everyone anymore about what was going on, he had to tell what was wrong because it was out there for everyone to see. He told me that he wanted to go to the hospital and then begin treatment for his drug problem and I told him I would take him. So after 5 hours in the hospital he was off to the behavior and psychiatric part of the hospital where he remained for 2 weeks and was treated for his depression along with withdrawls. After that he began treatment at a facility where he would go 6 days a week. He was doing amazing, he had become the guy I fell in love with and who everyone knew and loved. He had been sober for 3 months. His psychiatrist prescribed him xanx for his restless leg syndrome (since the medication strictly for rls makes him sick) and he soon relapsed on the xanx. This was almost a month ago and his relapse was a big wake up call. For him he realized how badly he wanted to be sober and everything that he would lose if he didn't remain that way. For me it was almost like a slap in the face. After everything I had been through with him and everything he told me I felt like well here is just another lie and another disappointment. He is still in treatment 6 days a week and going to meetings as well. He is working on getting a sponsor right now too. Despite all this I now find it so hard to trust him with absolutely anything. If he gets a text I have to check it. If someone calls I have to check it. If he looks tired I think he has relapsed and I feel like an over paranoid mother or something. This has been something I've been struggling with and I just don't know what to do. I want to trust him so bad and to believe that everything will be okay but I just don't know how. He is such an amazing guy and I love him with all my heart. Any loved ones out there that can give me ANY sort of advice I would appreciate it more than you know. No one I know has been in my situation and I'm looking for all the help I can get. I'm so sorry for the length of this and I appreciate anyone who got through it all ahhaa. I have never written this all out before so I hope it makes sense. Thanks guys
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!
You are definately in the correct place for support.
Please take time to read the top sticky post
as well as other members threads.
Blessings to the 2 of you
You are definately in the correct place for support.
Please take time to read the top sticky post
as well as other members threads.
Blessings to the 2 of you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kenai, Alaska
Posts: 21
Welcome!:ghug3 I can totally relate. My AH has also been addicted to the pills. It has been a difficult road, though treatment, detox's, all the lies. It makes you want to whack them upside the head 
I swear I could become a private investigator with all the skills I acquired being with an addict. I can look through a phone and bills all at the same time
All I can tell you is to try and give it up to whatever you think of as your Higher Power and focus on YOU. I stil have days where I think, Is today the day he will relapse? But with the support here and the other people I've met through Al-anon, it helps to have someone remind me to LIVE FOR TODAY. Good luck and I'm glad you found your way here!
I swear I could become a private investigator with all the skills I acquired being with an addict. I can look through a phone and bills all at the same time
All I can tell you is to try and give it up to whatever you think of as your Higher Power and focus on YOU. I stil have days where I think, Is today the day he will relapse? But with the support here and the other people I've met through Al-anon, it helps to have someone remind me to LIVE FOR TODAY. Good luck and I'm glad you found your way here!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I feel like an over paranoid mother or something. This has been something I've been struggling with and I just don't know what to do. I want to trust him so bad and to believe that everything will be okay but I just don't know how.
Maybe while he attends his NA meetings you could try some Alanon or Naranon meetings. They are for the friends and family. You'll find lots of folks who have had similar experiences and can share their wisdom and hope. Keep reading here and posting too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5
Thank you all for your kind words, you have no idea how much it helps. God bless you. And Blaze, thank you for the laugh with private investigator part...I feel the same way!! I'm going to college to be an elementary school teacher but I think I should change my major haha.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 266
You need to work on yourself. He will be okay and you will be okay. My son always says Things will out in the end.
If was meant to be it will happen. But if you love him let him go and heal and he will come back.
If was meant to be it will happen. But if you love him let him go and heal and he will come back.
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