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Old 03-03-2008, 08:10 PM
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Good books

Hello all,

Well, I've just hung up from one of those four-times-yearly two-hour-long phone conversations with my stepmother, who continues to enable my addict brother. This session's topic of conversation: she has finally taken the step of telling him she's a) not giving him any money any more, and b) he can't come live with her.

I think that's good. But I was so alarmed at her lack of knowledge about addicts and their manipulative behavior. Literally, she doesn't understand that the "silent treatment" she's getting from him now is intentional; she doesn't understand why he turned out this way, as "she was a good mom, right?"; she doesn't know a thing about boundaries (even though she's successfully setting a couple now)

She won't listen to much that I say, but I think she may read a book and find some support in it (she doesn't have internet access and is a veritable shut-in because of her arthritis).

Can any of you suggest a book that might be helpful to an enabler who is just now learning to set boundaries and understand addiction? I'd like to send it to her...it would make me feel like I was doing something helpful, without involving myself in the chaos overmuch.

Thanks in advance. Hope you're all doing well!
XOX
GL
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Old 03-04-2008, 06:56 AM
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"Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie and another book called "Boundaries"....uh, can't remember who it's by. But you can plug it into Amazone.com and I'm sure you can find it. Both great books.
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