quest
lesa
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: parkersburg wv
Posts: 157
quest
please exuse misspelled words.I have the flu realy bad and my daughter droped her three kids off.3,4 and 9 mo.old..now my quest ..when he got clean he comes with we are moving in different direction's has the nerve ..He will never take responsibly to what he done to me...he drinks 3 beers a night.not used crack in a yr in march
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Hope you're feeling better soon Lesa. I'm not sure I understand your quest, but if you'd like to talk we're here.
You may want to tell your daughter now isn't a great time to babysit...you need your rest.
(((Hugs)))
You may want to tell your daughter now isn't a great time to babysit...you need your rest.
(((Hugs)))
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Lesa,
I'm sorry you're feeling badly. I hope you'll be feeling better soon. And you can say no to babysitting when you're ill. That's perfectly okay.
I think maybe you were saying, "My question" and the question about your addicted person?
All I know is when I first came to this board I was very confused about what to do or what not to do. People here kept encouraging me to read and post. I was also told to find an Al Anon or Nar Anon meeting in my town. I did so and I started attending face to face meetings. In those meetings are people, just like on this board, who are dealing with an addicted loved one. It was so wonderful to talk and share with other people who were going through the same stuff I was going through. There were people there, just like on this board, who were making it and having a good life, despite what their addicted loved one was doing. I wanted what they had, so I listened to them, I watched them and I tried some of what they said they did to get some peace in their life.
Maybe you could do that. If you can't get to a meeting right now, just keep reading on this board. Take baby steps to help yourself because remember this, the 3 C's:
You cannot CONTROL his addiction
You didn't CAUSE his addiction
You can't CURE his addiction.
But you can do things to make your life better. And reading on this board and attending meetings helped me do that.
Hugs and hope to see you around some more,
Hangin' In
I'm sorry you're feeling badly. I hope you'll be feeling better soon. And you can say no to babysitting when you're ill. That's perfectly okay.
I think maybe you were saying, "My question" and the question about your addicted person?
All I know is when I first came to this board I was very confused about what to do or what not to do. People here kept encouraging me to read and post. I was also told to find an Al Anon or Nar Anon meeting in my town. I did so and I started attending face to face meetings. In those meetings are people, just like on this board, who are dealing with an addicted loved one. It was so wonderful to talk and share with other people who were going through the same stuff I was going through. There were people there, just like on this board, who were making it and having a good life, despite what their addicted loved one was doing. I wanted what they had, so I listened to them, I watched them and I tried some of what they said they did to get some peace in their life.
Maybe you could do that. If you can't get to a meeting right now, just keep reading on this board. Take baby steps to help yourself because remember this, the 3 C's:
You cannot CONTROL his addiction
You didn't CAUSE his addiction
You can't CURE his addiction.
But you can do things to make your life better. And reading on this board and attending meetings helped me do that.
Hugs and hope to see you around some more,
Hangin' In
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
People only do to us what we allow.
You know who taught me that? My alcoholic mom. NO ONE walks on that woman. NO ONE takes advantage of her. She is 71 years old, and she takes care of her own needs, she surrounds herself with those who love her and she is a happy woman.
Me? Her daughter? Not the same - I tend to allow others to take advantage... to "drop off" kids when I am sick... to "borrow" money when I am not financially stable myself.... to give and give and give.....
And what do I end up with? A resentment. Against the very people who thing I am doing these things out of the goodness of my heart. Against the ones who believe I am generous.
The one in control of that resentment... is me.
The way to get rid of it is to learn to live more like my mama, and stop falling for every sorry story I'm given.
Mom gave me a crazy-assed childhood with some weird stories and weiirder family... but now that I am a 50 year old woman, and she is 70 - and both of us sober.... it turns out SHE has figured out how to live better than me!
I hope you can find in my sharing something that can work for you. Sometimes, being "selfish" is another way to be "self sufficient".
I wish you well...
You know who taught me that? My alcoholic mom. NO ONE walks on that woman. NO ONE takes advantage of her. She is 71 years old, and she takes care of her own needs, she surrounds herself with those who love her and she is a happy woman.
Me? Her daughter? Not the same - I tend to allow others to take advantage... to "drop off" kids when I am sick... to "borrow" money when I am not financially stable myself.... to give and give and give.....
And what do I end up with? A resentment. Against the very people who thing I am doing these things out of the goodness of my heart. Against the ones who believe I am generous.
The one in control of that resentment... is me.
The way to get rid of it is to learn to live more like my mama, and stop falling for every sorry story I'm given.
Mom gave me a crazy-assed childhood with some weird stories and weiirder family... but now that I am a 50 year old woman, and she is 70 - and both of us sober.... it turns out SHE has figured out how to live better than me!
I hope you can find in my sharing something that can work for you. Sometimes, being "selfish" is another way to be "self sufficient".
I wish you well...
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