nytepassion

Well as you all remember ... my husband was supposed to move out on the 31st of January .. and I was going to make sure he stuck to it.

Well his mother called on his behalf as well as him sulking that he didn't have a place to go yet ... and he pouted and hung his head so I relented and allowed him to stay until the end of this month.

He told me afterwards that he wanted to become the husband that I needed and wanted. I merely said, be sure to save your money to move out at the end of Feb. I will not tolerate his drinking or pot smoking. As well as his mental, emotional and psychological abuse/torture.

Sunday was hellish to say the least .. it got ugly and I lost control of my temper as well as my tongue. I was so disappointed in myself. I missed Sunday service, but ended up practically running over to the church after the service and hunting down a couple friends of mine and we went up into the church office talked for hours and prayed. It was so refreshing to have a conversation that didn't include cussing (my husband has a bankrupt vocabulary and it seems he cannot form a sentence that doesn't contain a cuss word or three).

I am accountable for my own behavior. I am accountable for what comes forth from my mouth and Sunday my behavior and my words were very unbecoming to say the least ... Light has been shed into areas of my life and in me that I need to grow and change (in order to become the person I want to be when I grow up LOL).

I am not proud of the way I behaved in the days past, but I am so grateful that I got to see in me what I saw on Sunday and as ugly as it was .. I needed to see it ... Now I can surrender it to my HP = God .. freeing the Creator to mold, fashion and shape me (His creation) into the image that is pleasing to him ... In the process I will grow and change and become a better person for it. I am willing Lord ... I am willing.

I think me letting my husband stay wasn't for him, but rather it was for me. God has somethings in me that he needed to bring into the light .. he used the situation with my husband to do it.




Passion
Daughter of the King

Spiritual Seeker

I am learning that no matter what the A is doing, or anyone else for that matter-
that the healthiest thing for me is to remember to take my own inventory.
I will try to do this daily and when I am wrong promply admit it and make amends where approp. Again, no matter what anyone else's part is.
It sounds like you are developing healthy habits for yourself too. Fantastic.

BayAreaPhoenix

I am learning the lesson of not getting sucked into a "rational" discussion with my AH and react to it, but it's not easy, and I struggle. I have made good progress and feel good about it, but I think the steam is still in me, and going to explode too someday. Maybe I will need to do so to learn where I need to work too, it's not a bad thing to make mistakes that we learn from. That is a blessing I recognize today, not to beat myself up about my mistakes, but to learn from them for the future. Someday I hope to feel like Spiritual Seekers icon picture - but for now, I'll take my progress and keep moving forward. Thanks for sharing your story, it helps a lot!

cinderellawkids

That too is what I am working on constantly, learning to control me no matter what is occurring and or being said around me

CatsPajamas

((nyte))

As always, you are an inspiration to me. You are a walking example of recovery in action. No one said we would do it right all the time... they just told us how to handle it when we mess up.

That Step 10 stuff is good - it keeps our side of the street clean.

Wow. Just wow.

Cats