hoping

Wow, I don't know why I am ever surprised. Christmas eve and my A hubbie was up to all hours doing what..... Christmas I managed to get him up for the kids and he was just laying on the couch. At 10 a.m. he went back to bed. Slept all day until dinner. My mother and I had cooked all day and it was great. My mother-in-law called during the day to speak to him. She said;" That poor man must be depressed to be sleeping on Christmas." She knows the truth but always turns it around in her mind. How she can't even consider the grandkids or me is beyond reason. He eats dinner, gets up, leaves his plate and goes back to sleep for the night.
The plus side is it was a nice, quiet holiday with my mom and kids. The negative.... I just want somebody who actually loves me and wants to be with me. I don't want to spend my whole life and never been really cared about. Thanks for listening to my pity party. Oh, and he gave me not one present.

Jen

I'm so sorry for you and the kids. But, at least you were able to enjoy yourselves so that's a good thing !!

I remember those days so well and it would iritate me to no end watching my exah sleep the day away. The kids would be irritated as much as me because they wanted him to play or put something together.

However, this year was different. Our second Christmas without him and I don't think we even noticed (LOL) However, after all of the hoopla of opening presents and playing for a while, the boys asked if Daddy could come over to see their toys. I told them yes and he came over (with a gift for each of them.....shocked the heck out of me) and stayed for about an hour. They ate breakfast with him and played a bit.

That was enough for all of us and he went on his merry way, as did we.

Please hang in there!!!! You're a very strong person and your HP will help you through!!

Jen

hoping

I forgot to say... We went to church with the in-laws on Christmas eve. My husband left "to smoke a cigarette" and came back an hour later. My mother-in-law just made excuses for him so my father-in-law wouldn't realize. She always covers for him. Its neat how she can someone twist it around and blame me.

DevastatedJP

Hoping, had a somewhat same situation this Christmas but I thank God it was quiet and not quite as shameful as in the past. I don't know what to say except HE missed Christmas. You and the kids did not and that's wonderful. HE will miss many things until he gets help and it may not matter to him today, but hopefully, one day, it will but it will be too late to get those missed memories back. Cherish yours sweetie.

I have started working on a daily gratitude list (it sure does change from one day to the next). I think it's probably part of the AA program. Ironically, it was my AH's idea. When I begin putting pen to paper and list the good things, even the tiniest little things, I find that I have more to be grateful so I can concentrate on me and mine and not continue to worry myself to death over AH. Can't change him. He's working the program but yesterday, something happened. Hopefully he'll pull it together and talk to me.

Good luck and keep coming back. Read the stories, draw from the strength and courage of SR's members and you, in turn, will find many friends, resources and down right great information to apply to your life and your situation!

Ann

(((Hoping))) I agree, it just shouldn't be like that, not for you or for anyone.

You're not alone, we're all walking with you.

Hugs