Mood Changes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: DUBLIN, GA
Posts: 35
Mood Changes
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE. WENT HOME LAST AND ENJOYED MY NEW CAR ON THE WAY THERE. HAHA. BUY AN IMPALA AND YOU WILL JUST LOVE IT.
ANYWAY. I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT TO THINK ABOUT THE ACTIONS OF MY AH. HE SENT ME TEXT MESSAGES YESTERDAY MORNING THAT WAS JUST STRANGE HE WAS VERY DOWN AND MISSING ME AND JUST SEEMS VERY SAD. THEN LAST NIGHT HE CAME TO THE HOUSE TO SEE MY DAUGHTER AND SPEND TIME WITH US AND HE WAS JUST ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE HE HAD NOT BEEN SAD ANY. MY QUESTION IS WHAT IS THE RIGHT MOOD FOR HIM. IS HE STRAIGHT WHENEVER HE IS UP AND HAPPY OR WHEN HE IS DOWN AND SAD. I JUST DONT KNOW ANYMORE. HE HAS BEEN AT THIS FOR SO LONG NOW I JUST DONT KNOW THE REAL HIM?
:praying
ANYWAY. I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT TO THINK ABOUT THE ACTIONS OF MY AH. HE SENT ME TEXT MESSAGES YESTERDAY MORNING THAT WAS JUST STRANGE HE WAS VERY DOWN AND MISSING ME AND JUST SEEMS VERY SAD. THEN LAST NIGHT HE CAME TO THE HOUSE TO SEE MY DAUGHTER AND SPEND TIME WITH US AND HE WAS JUST ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE HE HAD NOT BEEN SAD ANY. MY QUESTION IS WHAT IS THE RIGHT MOOD FOR HIM. IS HE STRAIGHT WHENEVER HE IS UP AND HAPPY OR WHEN HE IS DOWN AND SAD. I JUST DONT KNOW ANYMORE. HE HAS BEEN AT THIS FOR SO LONG NOW I JUST DONT KNOW THE REAL HIM?
:praying
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Hi, welcome to SR. I was married to an addict for 25 years. If I were betting, from my own experience, I'd say he's happy when he's high and sad/depressed when he is crashing. But you really can't know for sure.
The key to the whole recovery process for YOU is to learn to focus not on trying to figure out what he is thinking/feeling/doing, but to focus on your own feelings and needs. It is difficult at first to do this when for so long he has been consuming your mind. But it can be done.
Are you attending any '-anon' meetings (support groups for people who are affected by a loved one's addiction)? If not, that is a great place to start because you will find folks there who really know and understand what you are going through. Keep coming here, too. This place was instrumental in my recovery.
((((HUGS))))
The key to the whole recovery process for YOU is to learn to focus not on trying to figure out what he is thinking/feeling/doing, but to focus on your own feelings and needs. It is difficult at first to do this when for so long he has been consuming your mind. But it can be done.
Are you attending any '-anon' meetings (support groups for people who are affected by a loved one's addiction)? If not, that is a great place to start because you will find folks there who really know and understand what you are going through. Keep coming here, too. This place was instrumental in my recovery.
((((HUGS))))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: DUBLIN, GA
Posts: 35
Well I Am Trying To Do That. It Really Is Hard. I Love Him Is The Hard Part And I Care That He Is Trying To Get Better. I Really Am Trying Not To Feel Sorry For Him. I Dont Ask Him About His Money Anymore And I Am Not Keeping Up With Him Anymore. That Is A Very Very Big Step For Me.
As Far As The Meetings Go I Have Not Went To Any. I Stay On Here Doing Lots Of Reading And Trying To Take In The Advise Of Others And The Advise Other People Are Getting.
This Forum Is Helping Me A Lot. It Feels Good To Be Able To Put My Feelings In To Words And Have Someone Reach Out And Let Me Know I Am Not Alone In This And There Are Others Out There Going Threw The Same Things. This Is Step One For Me. I Am Glad I Joined This Family.
As Far As The Meetings Go I Have Not Went To Any. I Stay On Here Doing Lots Of Reading And Trying To Take In The Advise Of Others And The Advise Other People Are Getting.
This Forum Is Helping Me A Lot. It Feels Good To Be Able To Put My Feelings In To Words And Have Someone Reach Out And Let Me Know I Am Not Alone In This And There Are Others Out There Going Threw The Same Things. This Is Step One For Me. I Am Glad I Joined This Family.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i kept going back to step one over & over. acceptance was really hard for me. today i accept the fact my son my not ever change. me loving him will not change the fact that he will not get clean & stay clean. love will not make the addict clean. i am glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 138
Lita - I too have not yet hit a real meeting. I'm getting what I need so far here but am making plans in the near future to start checking out some meetings. I understand that I might not find the right fit immediately but I think some face to face time would be helpful. I love SR cause it's 24/7 and most definately fits into my schedule - plus, no babysitting fees or favors to ask of friends or neighbors.
Any answer or advice I've ever needed, wanted or didn't even solicite, I found here. So much love and support!
Any answer or advice I've ever needed, wanted or didn't even solicite, I found here. So much love and support!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: DUBLIN, GA
Posts: 35
I Agree. I Dont Get On The Computer Much At Home Because I Just Dont Have Time. So I Waste Time At Work When I Am Not Busy To Read And Post. My Child Keeps Me Busy Enough At Home On The Weekends To Keep My Mind Off The Madness.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: ca
Posts: 103
Hi Lita: I agree with Duet. For my AH, happy = high and sad/grumpy/shameful = coming down or not high.
SR is invaluable, but as others have said, face to face -anon meeting have also been a blessing for me. Recently having found a sponsor, I think that is what is going to make the difference in my recovery.
SR is invaluable, but as others have said, face to face -anon meeting have also been a blessing for me. Recently having found a sponsor, I think that is what is going to make the difference in my recovery.
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