Perfection or Bust
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
Perfection or Bust
Well it's here, the holiday season is official. Full swing codie mania.
The time of year that codies shine, we clean our homes till they glisten, we decorate and arrange things to perfection. We shop for all the goodies that our loved ones like, we spend hours cooking and preparing, we arrange ourselves around everyones schedule, everything has to be perfect. We bounce around like a ping pong ball trying to take care of the kids, the spouces, the parents, the sibilings, in our neverending desire to make everyone happy.
We have "the talk" with whoever the "problem" is. Please, just for one day don't .....
We worry, we stress, we run around like a chicken with it's head cut off.
Everything has to be perfect, everyone has to be happy.
We usually plan way too much food, because Johnny likes this, and pappy likes that and oh yes aunt gracie can't eat this, so I better fix something else for her.
We lay our schedules out perfectly. Better get started as early as possible. This has to go in the oven at this time, so it can be out and done, so that we have room to throw this in, oh and everything has to come out at just the right eating temperature, all the while, Johnny can't find his nice shirt let alone ANY pants to wear, pappy has the TV turned up too loud, Aunt Gracie is still in the bathroom, but like a true codie, even though we are about to bust, we can hold it as someone else slips in.
Everything has to be perfect, everyone has to be happy.
In the end, they are all stuffed, Johnny has run off to play, Aunt Gracie has filled our day with details of all her problems, Pappy is back in front of the TV, with a full belly, everyone is happy if all has gone as planned.
In my codie world of course, there has to be at least two major events, either pies get burnt, the turkey overcooked, family members get into an argument (which is why the pies get burnt, trying to calm down the argument), the house catches on fire, or the dog bites someone.
No matter what I ever did, how hard I planned and scheduled, resolved to make and keep everyone happy.....I never did reach perfection. Every year I would try, and every year something would happen, minor to major. And it would just eat me up. It would have me stressed to no end.
So here is my daydream this holiday.
Pack up all those goodies and take them to people who really need to eat badly, prepare a plate of bologna and bread, arrange it like a turkey in the center of the table. Grab the TV right out from under Pappy, tell Johnny that if he can't find his own clothes, go naked. Shove Aunt Gracie out of the way at the bathroom door as I turn on the water for that nice bubble bath, watching whatever I want, munching on carrot cake, without a proper eating utincil.
So I call all codies to remember. There is a U in Turkey day. There is an I in Christmas. Remember yourself, when you give all of you away, you are left with nothing but that feeling of being drained. The only one that you can Make happy, is you. Perfection is so over rated. It is so much more fun to just be human and relax, laugh, play, and let Johnney find his own pants, otherwise how is he ever going to dress himself when he grows up.
Today, I am thankful for having reached a point in my recovery that I can "Let Go" of Perfection and think of my own happiness for a change.
Can someone please pass that peach cobbler?
Love and Hugs to All
B
The time of year that codies shine, we clean our homes till they glisten, we decorate and arrange things to perfection. We shop for all the goodies that our loved ones like, we spend hours cooking and preparing, we arrange ourselves around everyones schedule, everything has to be perfect. We bounce around like a ping pong ball trying to take care of the kids, the spouces, the parents, the sibilings, in our neverending desire to make everyone happy.
We have "the talk" with whoever the "problem" is. Please, just for one day don't .....
We worry, we stress, we run around like a chicken with it's head cut off.
Everything has to be perfect, everyone has to be happy.
We usually plan way too much food, because Johnny likes this, and pappy likes that and oh yes aunt gracie can't eat this, so I better fix something else for her.
We lay our schedules out perfectly. Better get started as early as possible. This has to go in the oven at this time, so it can be out and done, so that we have room to throw this in, oh and everything has to come out at just the right eating temperature, all the while, Johnny can't find his nice shirt let alone ANY pants to wear, pappy has the TV turned up too loud, Aunt Gracie is still in the bathroom, but like a true codie, even though we are about to bust, we can hold it as someone else slips in.
Everything has to be perfect, everyone has to be happy.
In the end, they are all stuffed, Johnny has run off to play, Aunt Gracie has filled our day with details of all her problems, Pappy is back in front of the TV, with a full belly, everyone is happy if all has gone as planned.
In my codie world of course, there has to be at least two major events, either pies get burnt, the turkey overcooked, family members get into an argument (which is why the pies get burnt, trying to calm down the argument), the house catches on fire, or the dog bites someone.
No matter what I ever did, how hard I planned and scheduled, resolved to make and keep everyone happy.....I never did reach perfection. Every year I would try, and every year something would happen, minor to major. And it would just eat me up. It would have me stressed to no end.
So here is my daydream this holiday.
Pack up all those goodies and take them to people who really need to eat badly, prepare a plate of bologna and bread, arrange it like a turkey in the center of the table. Grab the TV right out from under Pappy, tell Johnny that if he can't find his own clothes, go naked. Shove Aunt Gracie out of the way at the bathroom door as I turn on the water for that nice bubble bath, watching whatever I want, munching on carrot cake, without a proper eating utincil.
So I call all codies to remember. There is a U in Turkey day. There is an I in Christmas. Remember yourself, when you give all of you away, you are left with nothing but that feeling of being drained. The only one that you can Make happy, is you. Perfection is so over rated. It is so much more fun to just be human and relax, laugh, play, and let Johnney find his own pants, otherwise how is he ever going to dress himself when he grows up.
Today, I am thankful for having reached a point in my recovery that I can "Let Go" of Perfection and think of my own happiness for a change.
Can someone please pass that peach cobbler?
Love and Hugs to All
B
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Frankly -
I love your post!!! It is just my dad, stepmom, and I this thanksgiving and though we are cooking, it will be a "laid back" kind of day. We were going to go out, but we all love turkey leftovers, so will be sure to have some.
You gave me an idea.....think I'll be eating cheesecake while I take a bubble bath
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I love your post!!! It is just my dad, stepmom, and I this thanksgiving and though we are cooking, it will be a "laid back" kind of day. We were going to go out, but we all love turkey leftovers, so will be sure to have some.
You gave me an idea.....think I'll be eating cheesecake while I take a bubble bath
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((((((Frankly)))))))))
Today, I am thankful for you. lol
You hit the nail on the head, big time.
I have given my frantic- for- perfection ways, over
to my Lord, our Savior.
This was a very helpful reminder, though.
Thank you, sweetie.
For you, my friend...
Love ya,
Today, I am thankful for you. lol
You hit the nail on the head, big time.
I have given my frantic- for- perfection ways, over
to my Lord, our Savior.
This was a very helpful reminder, though.
Thank you, sweetie.
For you, my friend...
Love ya,
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Pack up all those goodies and take them to people who really need to eat badly, prepare a plate of bologna and bread, arrange it like a turkey in the center of the table. Grab the TV right out from under Pappy, tell Johnny that if he can't find his own clothes, go naked. Shove Aunt Gracie out of the way at the bathroom door as I turn on the water for that nice bubble bath, watching whatever I want, munching on carrot cake, without a proper eating utincil.
My idea of a great Holiday wouldn't be too far from Clark Griswald's in Christmas Vacation...now THAT's a dysfuntional family at its best.
You made me smile big this morning, Frankly, and I need the reminder that the only person I can make happy is me...it's up to the others to choose whether to join me or not. Just so long as they don't join me in that bubble bath. :mock
Hugs and Happy Thanksgiving
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((Amy)) Cheesecake ummmmm. another of my favorites.
((Book)) I had to laugh at myself, I saw your picture of that peach cobbler, and before I could stop my thought process, I was already thinking I needed to improve how my own peach cobbler looks, progress not perfection huh. Thank You.
((Ann)) Some of the very best holidays are dysfunctional ones, wait a second, maybe it's the "normal" ones that are really the dysfunctional ones. LOL Hugs.
((Hope)) I hope you have a wonderful "I" day. Just don't forget desert.
((Book)) I had to laugh at myself, I saw your picture of that peach cobbler, and before I could stop my thought process, I was already thinking I needed to improve how my own peach cobbler looks, progress not perfection huh. Thank You.
((Ann)) Some of the very best holidays are dysfunctional ones, wait a second, maybe it's the "normal" ones that are really the dysfunctional ones. LOL Hugs.
((Hope)) I hope you have a wonderful "I" day. Just don't forget desert.
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
here I sit laughing my fool head off because you just described me!!!
This thanksgiving will be a challenge "MY REFRIGERATOR AND FREEZER JUST BROKE OVERNIGHT"
If you look in the dictionary under Murphys law you will see my picture!!
The recovering codie in me is saying this "tough poop, I'll make the food and eat the food and not give a crap where I'm putting leftovers"
hey, this means take out for at least 3 days til I get a new frig, whoo hoo!!!!!
happy thanksgiving all, and thanks for this post
This thanksgiving will be a challenge "MY REFRIGERATOR AND FREEZER JUST BROKE OVERNIGHT"
If you look in the dictionary under Murphys law you will see my picture!!
The recovering codie in me is saying this "tough poop, I'll make the food and eat the food and not give a crap where I'm putting leftovers"
hey, this means take out for at least 3 days til I get a new frig, whoo hoo!!!!!
happy thanksgiving all, and thanks for this post
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((rashue))
It's a blessing in disguise. You really needed a break from cooking, you also needed someone else to cook for you for a change, (secretly I would be happy for a reason to eat out). Plus you now have an advantage, if someone "messes up" just grab the closest thing in a bowl and dump it over their head. It's going to go to waste anyway right? LOL
B
It's a blessing in disguise. You really needed a break from cooking, you also needed someone else to cook for you for a change, (secretly I would be happy for a reason to eat out). Plus you now have an advantage, if someone "messes up" just grab the closest thing in a bowl and dump it over their head. It's going to go to waste anyway right? LOL
B
Living in the light
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Wooohoooo, I'm going to my daughter's for Thanksgiving...her hub owns restaurants
and is a chef...I'm not doing a thing but show up with a perfect box of chocolates and help with clearing the table and do some dishes.
Daughter had the right idea when she married a chef
Great post frankly!
and is a chef...I'm not doing a thing but show up with a perfect box of chocolates and help with clearing the table and do some dishes.
Daughter had the right idea when she married a chef
Great post frankly!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Rensselaer, NY
Posts: 74
I could not agree more. This Thanksgiving finds me still sitting here in my flannel jammies at noon relaxing. I didn't shop, clean, bake, and I'm not cooking a turkey, or cleaning a billion dishes. I'm simply going 5 minutes away to my dad's at 3 and eating dinner with my dad and sister. No fuss, no muss. You know what, I couldn't be more happy and peaceful. My days of the frenzied chaotic b.s. are over.
Laurie
Laurie
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
Moose - I need two of those t-shirts, one for normal wear and one for bed. (-:
frankieB - I am just soooo jealous. I want my own chef!
laurie - that is exactly what I'm talking about, comfort.
Happy - I hope this was your best holiday ever.
frankieB - I am just soooo jealous. I want my own chef!
laurie - that is exactly what I'm talking about, comfort.
Happy - I hope this was your best holiday ever.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Great post...I missed this yesterday somehow! I hope everyone had as stress free and "unperfect" a Thanksgiving as possible...I too love that Tee shirt, Moose.
There are some things about the holidays that I like and enjoy...so this year my goal is to only do those "extra" things that I want to do and when I want to. So far, so good...I refused to get up today and run out to stores because I might find some bargain (at 4 or 5am, for heaven's sake!!) I refuse to be part of the Black Friday madness...Instead my day will include raking some leaves, going for a walk and eating some left overs and reading here...yup, sounds good to me. Hugs
There are some things about the holidays that I like and enjoy...so this year my goal is to only do those "extra" things that I want to do and when I want to. So far, so good...I refused to get up today and run out to stores because I might find some bargain (at 4 or 5am, for heaven's sake!!) I refuse to be part of the Black Friday madness...Instead my day will include raking some leaves, going for a walk and eating some left overs and reading here...yup, sounds good to me. Hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Originally Posted by frankly 
((greet))
you truely inspire me. It's been forever since I read a good book. I think it's time to curl up with one by a fire.
B
you truely inspire me. It's been forever since I read a good book. I think it's time to curl up with one by a fire.
B
That's one of my absolute favorite things to do! I hope you found a good plot, excellent style and some characters who make you smile. ((((Frankly))))
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