seasea

Here I am again...up against my H wanting to smoke pot...i am in recovery myself..alcoholic as well as him...pot and alcohol like apples and cars...different according to him..for him well that is great for me it is not...anything thing that can be "used" is the same for me...i had a slip this past weekend after he ran out of pot...i had that little guy on my shoulder whispering to me...hey u can do it just a bit...see no harm...WELL IT DID... ran to AA the next day..back on track...he wants to go get some more..when i bring up my issues..wham...it is all about not picking up the drink and not about the fact that his using pot is making me sideways...introducing using in my life that was clean of everything..his too until now....it shocked me that it is all about me..and how he does not want people to tell him what to do..he does not tell me what to do..which is true other than dont pick up that drink...because the consequences for me are SO obivious and sick....but for him there are none...yet maybe i dont know..he could go on smoking each nite for who knows..and nothing may ever happen other than it somehow tempts me...he just does not get it...my therapist said he is being real selfish..wanting me to stay sober..yet in the midst of his using...i though maybe i was being selfish for asking him to consider me...crazy or what...not time to leave or anything..i am not fed up or tired enough i guess...i am not in a place where i can leave and deal with all the lack of this, no place to live..not enough money.. etc. just not strong enough yet...but i hope to be...i just need to get thorugh this...or can i live with him and it and be ok....therapist said to do my own thing..not with him when he uses..ignore him...dont be around it....it will just do the job of pushing us apart as if it is not already being done...i wish i was not an addictive one...so that he use would not mean anything to me..other than what i stinkey smell...and such blood shots eyes...he has...thanks for listening....

mike_mass

Well, your post certainly makes me grateful that my wife does not use drugs or alcohol. Don't know what to tell you....listen to the therapist.

Ann

Seasea, I believe that your sobriety is more important than anything else, your very life may depend on you staying sober.

Staying in a situation where you are exposed to drug use is dangerous for you, and for that reason alone I am going to suggest you find some place safer at a distance from all this. If you husband continues to use, your life will continue to be in danger, and if he decides to stop, then you can work out your issues from a safe distance until his actions show that he too is serious about his recovery.

I know this isn't easy for you and my prayers go out that you can stay well and take very good care of yourself.

Hugs

hope213

i am glad you have come back.he is being selfish in the fact that he does not care about your soberity. that should be the most important thing.take care of YOU what ever it takes. my prayers for u both.

Impurrfect

Seasea -

Sorry you are going through this, but glad you got right back into AA after your slip.

I am a recovering crack addict. Although I KNOW I can't be around anyone smoking crack, it hadn't bothered me to be around people drinking or smoking pot until recently. It's not that I want to do anything (drink, pot, crack), but it's begun to stress me out. Almost everyone I work with smokes pot during work (in their cars) and I am fed up with dealing with people who are high. I'm looking for another job this week.

Some people can recover and live with an active alcoholic or addict. I, personally, find that at 8 months clean, I need to minimize my exposure to anyone active. I don't want to be dragged back into the world of addiction.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

cece

It is scary how desensitized people can be about pot. I agree that it is everywhere. Its still illegal and its as prevalent as alcohol at a party with people under the age of 30. I have heard everything from, its natural, to its better for you than alcohol.
It is a gateway drug for an addict. for others its probably the same as alcohol a non-addict can take it or leave it. an addict will begin to want more. Maybe its not as quickly addictive as alcohol or other drugs, it sneaks up on you.
I know my son feels he needs to smoke it daily. At first to keep him not stressed then it was to keep him from not feeling crazy. sounds like addiction to me.
He thinks so too actually, but he thinks its a good addiction and good for you. (?) So good that its important to stay home all day and smoke, not get a job, or think beyond the day.
It has turned a hard-working caring guy into someone who is depressed with no ambition.
You are thinking smart. you are right to be afraid of its affect on your life.