A blast from the past - dropping in to say hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Colorado
Posts: 161
A blast from the past - dropping in to say hello
Hi Everyone!
I stopped by the boards last night since I was thinking of all my old friends on the boards but since it had been SO long since I posted (something like 2003) I couldn't post till I could get my account reactivated. I was watching Intervention on A&E and it is amazing how watching that show brings all the memories flooding back with such intensity.......So I spent last night reading and catching up on how folks are doing while listening to the show.
For those that don't know me - I was very active on these boards for years and these boards helped keep me on the path to recovery of my codependency..As time wore on and I got farther away from my addict - I left the board but never in spirit......
At the time I was active on the boards - I had been trying to break free of an addict wo was addicted to heroin, speed, alcohol and pretty much anything that would get him high or drunk.... Though he never did Meth thank god.....After many, many stupid decisions and some incredibly crazy codependent behavior bled me of every cent I had and I was 6 days from being evicted from my condo - his parent shipped him off to his 17th rehab in FL. I took that opportunity to take what little I had left and my dog and two cats and ran to Colorado. I luckily found a great job, made new friends and thought the demons of the past were behind me! HA..... out of now where - one day, the cast iron frypan called life smacked me dead on in the face when I wasn't looking....
My addict left rehab before his time was up, came to Colorado (of course i told him where I was - WHAT was I thinking - really now), broke into my house and while high on coke and god knows what else tried to convince me he was clean, he loved me and that if i just helped him life would be fine. All while holding my head to the ceiling using a choke hold. (He is 6'3, i am 5'6). I managed to kick him in the balls quite hard, he dropped me and i got into the bedroom and called the cops.... 1 restraining order later, some very pissed off addict parents, a bus ticket back to FL and a last telephone call telling him I loved him but I never wanted to see or talk to him again - life began anew....that was over 6 years ago....
I lived on these boards because I was never really as comfortable in in person meetings here in CO as I was in NJ and to this day I still think about the people Ihave met, the stories that I have heard and use the lesson I was taught.
Besides stopping in to catch up and say hello - I wanted to tell all the new folks I don't know - if you work the program it does work and you can be all right. I am living proof of that. Is my life perfect. Nope...Am I happy - you betcha.....I LOVE my life even with the occasional smack to the forehead
I have a job that I love. And my dog is still with me but both of my cats passed on so I went an rescued two more who bring me daily laughs and joy......I have a husband of over 4 years that I love dearly. Yes we have our issues including trying to deal with his raging alcoholic father and the rest of the family including him who are in denial that they need to help themselves too. It is funny myself and my sister in law are the only two that have experience in dealing with co-dependency (she has alocholism in her family too) and we laugh all the time because this would be a situation where normally we would rush in and try to save the day but we know we can not.... So we told the family about Alanon, gave them som books to read and I passed on the link to the site and said we would be there to listen but we can not fix...
So as of today - to share a few bits of wisdom - here is what I learned so far. My sponsor was right. The books are right....It is a life long journey and if you think you have this thing called codependency mastered - you don't - ever
When you get in that mindset that you have it covered what you don't know is that the frying pan is lurking somewhere getting ready to strike when you least expect it... Have I lasted in the past 8 years of recovery - yup, some of them big and some small. Will happen again - yup - I am counting on it....because when I fall down is always when I learn the greatest lessons.
The other thing I learned is that the "stinking thinkin" that comes along with codepency can kill you. Inside and out. Your brain is the strongest muscle you have. And it can be used for good or it can be used to destroy you. I spent years in stinking thinkin. I always looked like crap, I always felt like crap, I told myself daily I was crap and I was not smart enough to get myself out of it. But one day - I couldn't tell you when - I decide you know what - I am not a bad person, I deserve better than this and I am not going to talk to myself this way.... I started replacing one negative thought in my head a day. I kicked the negative influences out of my life - the addict, the nutso negative friends and family and decided to save my life because the only person I could save was me. The pain got so great I had to make a change. It is the best thing I ever did for myself.
So the long and the short of it is:
1. If you are beating yourself up about what you think is a stupid decision you made recently - stop it. It is not doing you any good. It is actually doing way more harm.
2. There is tons of hope out there and tons of people who have made to the other side. Never feel like you are alone.
If you are feeling like crap now...
1. Think of 5 reasons you are fabulous and right them down on your bathroom mirror so you see them every day.
2. Pick on negative thought in your head and replace with a positive and keep doing that every day. What what happens when you do that.
3. Find a frying pan and leave it out on the kitchen counter as a reminder that somedays life will hit you in the face. Hopefully like me - it will get to a point where you see a frying pan and start laughing and everyone will think you are crazy for different reasons.
4. Do something nice for yourself today. I love to read - so I always take 1-2 hours each Saturday or Sunday and do nothing but read....
Love,
Ogly
I stopped by the boards last night since I was thinking of all my old friends on the boards but since it had been SO long since I posted (something like 2003) I couldn't post till I could get my account reactivated. I was watching Intervention on A&E and it is amazing how watching that show brings all the memories flooding back with such intensity.......So I spent last night reading and catching up on how folks are doing while listening to the show.
For those that don't know me - I was very active on these boards for years and these boards helped keep me on the path to recovery of my codependency..As time wore on and I got farther away from my addict - I left the board but never in spirit......
At the time I was active on the boards - I had been trying to break free of an addict wo was addicted to heroin, speed, alcohol and pretty much anything that would get him high or drunk.... Though he never did Meth thank god.....After many, many stupid decisions and some incredibly crazy codependent behavior bled me of every cent I had and I was 6 days from being evicted from my condo - his parent shipped him off to his 17th rehab in FL. I took that opportunity to take what little I had left and my dog and two cats and ran to Colorado. I luckily found a great job, made new friends and thought the demons of the past were behind me! HA..... out of now where - one day, the cast iron frypan called life smacked me dead on in the face when I wasn't looking....
My addict left rehab before his time was up, came to Colorado (of course i told him where I was - WHAT was I thinking - really now), broke into my house and while high on coke and god knows what else tried to convince me he was clean, he loved me and that if i just helped him life would be fine. All while holding my head to the ceiling using a choke hold. (He is 6'3, i am 5'6). I managed to kick him in the balls quite hard, he dropped me and i got into the bedroom and called the cops.... 1 restraining order later, some very pissed off addict parents, a bus ticket back to FL and a last telephone call telling him I loved him but I never wanted to see or talk to him again - life began anew....that was over 6 years ago....
I lived on these boards because I was never really as comfortable in in person meetings here in CO as I was in NJ and to this day I still think about the people Ihave met, the stories that I have heard and use the lesson I was taught.
Besides stopping in to catch up and say hello - I wanted to tell all the new folks I don't know - if you work the program it does work and you can be all right. I am living proof of that. Is my life perfect. Nope...Am I happy - you betcha.....I LOVE my life even with the occasional smack to the forehead
I have a job that I love. And my dog is still with me but both of my cats passed on so I went an rescued two more who bring me daily laughs and joy......I have a husband of over 4 years that I love dearly. Yes we have our issues including trying to deal with his raging alcoholic father and the rest of the family including him who are in denial that they need to help themselves too. It is funny myself and my sister in law are the only two that have experience in dealing with co-dependency (she has alocholism in her family too) and we laugh all the time because this would be a situation where normally we would rush in and try to save the day but we know we can not.... So we told the family about Alanon, gave them som books to read and I passed on the link to the site and said we would be there to listen but we can not fix...
So as of today - to share a few bits of wisdom - here is what I learned so far. My sponsor was right. The books are right....It is a life long journey and if you think you have this thing called codependency mastered - you don't - ever
When you get in that mindset that you have it covered what you don't know is that the frying pan is lurking somewhere getting ready to strike when you least expect it...
Have I lasted in the past 8 years of recovery - yup, some of them big and some small. Will happen again - yup - I am counting on it....because when I fall down is always when I learn the greatest lessons.The other thing I learned is that the "stinking thinkin" that comes along with codepency can kill you. Inside and out. Your brain is the strongest muscle you have. And it can be used for good or it can be used to destroy you. I spent years in stinking thinkin. I always looked like crap, I always felt like crap, I told myself daily I was crap and I was not smart enough to get myself out of it. But one day - I couldn't tell you when - I decide you know what - I am not a bad person, I deserve better than this and I am not going to talk to myself this way.... I started replacing one negative thought in my head a day. I kicked the negative influences out of my life - the addict, the nutso negative friends and family and decided to save my life because the only person I could save was me. The pain got so great I had to make a change. It is the best thing I ever did for myself.
So the long and the short of it is:
1. If you are beating yourself up about what you think is a stupid decision you made recently - stop it. It is not doing you any good. It is actually doing way more harm.
2. There is tons of hope out there and tons of people who have made to the other side. Never feel like you are alone.
If you are feeling like crap now...
1. Think of 5 reasons you are fabulous and right them down on your bathroom mirror so you see them every day.
2. Pick on negative thought in your head and replace with a positive and keep doing that every day. What what happens when you do that.
3. Find a frying pan and leave it out on the kitchen counter as a reminder that somedays life will hit you in the face. Hopefully like me - it will get to a point where you see a frying pan and start laughing and everyone will think you are crazy for different reasons.
4. Do something nice for yourself today. I love to read - so I always take 1-2 hours each Saturday or Sunday and do nothing but read....
Love,
Ogly
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Ogly - I've read some of your posts in the archives... thank you so much for stopping in to say hello... and to update us on your situation.
You have some excellent recovery... and good advice.
((((BigHugs)))))
You have some excellent recovery... and good advice.
((((BigHugs)))))
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
For those who don't already know, this is "the" Ogly I have spoken of, who was the first mod of Naranon here and my mentor. I learned most of what I know today from this dear lady who was never afraid to whack me with her own personal skillet. She was the original "keeper of the skillet" I believe.
Ogly, my heart skipped a beat when I saw your name here, and reading your post above I am soooo happy life has been good to you and congratulations to you and the relatively new Mr. Ogly.
And the phrase..."Hands off the Addict"?...yup, that came from the lovely Miss Ogly herself, often yelled as she swung that skillet, but wise words nonetheless.
It's a thrill to see you Ogly, you are one of those special people who will live in my heart forever and one who made my world a better place.
And by the way, I am cured now
Okay, I'll shut up and stop babbling, but it really is a huge thrill for this codie to see the lady of the skillet return.
Huge Hugs and Lots of Love and Gratitude
Ogly, my heart skipped a beat when I saw your name here, and reading your post above I am soooo happy life has been good to you and congratulations to you and the relatively new Mr. Ogly.
And the phrase..."Hands off the Addict"?...yup, that came from the lovely Miss Ogly herself, often yelled as she swung that skillet, but wise words nonetheless.
It's a thrill to see you Ogly, you are one of those special people who will live in my heart forever and one who made my world a better place.
And by the way, I am cured now
Okay, I'll shut up and stop babbling, but it really is a huge thrill for this codie to see the lady of the skillet return.
Huge Hugs and Lots of Love and Gratitude
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Colorado
Posts: 161
Ann:
My dear friend and comrade in arms.... Seeing your name made it feel as if I never left.... Thank you for the kind words and folks - you guys are SO lucky to have her and her wisdom..... Even if I don't read the posts - just seeing you there is a calming influence!
Okay - my cat is swipping at my ankles saying - HEY - it's Saturday at 12:30 aren't we supposed to be outside sitting in the lounge chair reading by now! HELLO - I need an audience to chase ants you know!
My dear friend and comrade in arms.... Seeing your name made it feel as if I never left.... Thank you for the kind words and folks - you guys are SO lucky to have her and her wisdom..... Even if I don't read the posts - just seeing you there is a calming influence!
Okay - my cat is swipping at my ankles saying - HEY - it's Saturday at 12:30 aren't we supposed to be outside sitting in the lounge chair reading by now! HELLO - I need an audience to chase ants you know!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
Hey Ogly!
It's always good to see you.
Congratulations on the marriage. That's really great to hear.
I will never forget the fun we had and the laughter. Laughter really is great medicine.
Don't stay away for so long.
It's always good to see you.
Congratulations on the marriage. That's really great to hear.
I will never forget the fun we had and the laughter. Laughter really is great medicine.
Don't stay away for so long.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Ogly's back !
Ogly's back !
Ogly's back !
I am doing the codie happy dance in circles, with my bunny slippers and my tiara, skillet in hand...
You were here when I first got here, Ogly, and you gave me some of that great Ogly wisdom as well. I've a new name on here so you won't know me, but it doesn't matter. I'm just one of the multitudes of people whom you helped in your journey by sharing your experience, strength and hope. We keep what we have by passing it on, and you did it in style.
Thanks, good to see you!
Cats
Ogly's back !
Ogly's back !
I am doing the codie happy dance in circles, with my bunny slippers and my tiara, skillet in hand...
You were here when I first got here, Ogly, and you gave me some of that great Ogly wisdom as well. I've a new name on here so you won't know me, but it doesn't matter. I'm just one of the multitudes of people whom you helped in your journey by sharing your experience, strength and hope. We keep what we have by passing it on, and you did it in style.
Thanks, good to see you!
Cats
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: MA
Posts: 145
ogly,
I have not had the pleasure of meeting you before, but your post literally made my day. I am at work and I printed the part about the frying pan and posted it in my cube. That was great!
I am so sorry for all that you had to go through to reach your solace, but it gives me hope that there really is a such thing as the silver lining. Thank you for gracing the boards with your presence once again for this newbies sake!
My best wishes for an amazing FOREVER!!!
I have not had the pleasure of meeting you before, but your post literally made my day. I am at work and I printed the part about the frying pan and posted it in my cube. That was great!
I am so sorry for all that you had to go through to reach your solace, but it gives me hope that there really is a such thing as the silver lining. Thank you for gracing the boards with your presence once again for this newbies sake!
My best wishes for an amazing FOREVER!!!
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
So....the mysterious and enchanting Ogly has returned?
Just kidding. Howya doin'?
I'm Linda.
Just wanted to welcome you back and letcha know that any friend o' Anns'...
You know the drill.
So glad you stopped in and updated. You sound very happy and that's a good thing.
Would love to hear more about the skillet scandals sometime.
A newbie, but an oldie,
Linda
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