Another last time-? It will be
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
Another last time-? It will be
Back again whining and boohooing, AH came over and I made the mistake of opening th door. He was clean-so I thougt-coming down from drugs? It started yesterday about how sorry he was and we could work things out. I bought it-he was broke-hungry and had no clean clothes. He did the money game for this and that-I ended up with a loss of $50.00(could have been worse-another bill I cannot pay) He tried to talk to me and try to get me to understand where he was coming from(yeh right) I just sat at the computer like a big dummy with the sticky-Thats what addicts do. He said I changed-thank God and wanted to know why. He would do anything to change(BS) He was curious-he read What Addicts Do-he blew up and said he never stole from me. (Bull crap-he stole my life)
He read the sticky of when the pain stops-brought tears to him. Then anger-grabbed a few things left here-told me I was a sick pup-SR was more sick and I should get a life. As you know-I am trying to get mine back-just stuggling more than most. I might be heartsick-but AH is one extremely sick person. Asked him about the last 3 months and he does not remember-duh? Said he was smoking-doing tons of pills(street) and knows he messed up and hurt me. Sounded nice-true compassion?-just was trying to get another $.
Just about the time I am back to the positive-he brings me down-one last time. Slow learner-he wants $ No advice needed-I get it.
Had a call about the pups yesterday-sounds like a good home-BUT-told them I would call back today-central air went out yesterday. He wants the pups-=cannot afford them-much less provide a place for them to live. Gosh-I have been "here" a while-pups are huge-done tearing the house apart-just good"kids" 90%. Pups grew up since I found this site in June.
What a mess-(my non-addict hubby has)after reading the 2 sticky's and cussing me out-packing what he could find-told me to stick with this site. And correct my post of his age in drugs-started at 12-he is now 48.
Well, life does go on-another giant step forward-I think. Compared to other with SR I am a slow learner or just an old lady.
He wanted to know why the change-sorry SOB might think about it-make sense and then right back to his friends. Sick as it sounds-I would rather be in contact wit SR than call 911.
Just venting-sun will be up and may try again to tackle the world(heh) before it tackles me. Life does go on=at least mine is not a drug world-just clouded and foggy from the sorry AH. LOL
He read the sticky of when the pain stops-brought tears to him. Then anger-grabbed a few things left here-told me I was a sick pup-SR was more sick and I should get a life. As you know-I am trying to get mine back-just stuggling more than most. I might be heartsick-but AH is one extremely sick person. Asked him about the last 3 months and he does not remember-duh? Said he was smoking-doing tons of pills(street) and knows he messed up and hurt me. Sounded nice-true compassion?-just was trying to get another $.
Just about the time I am back to the positive-he brings me down-one last time. Slow learner-he wants $ No advice needed-I get it.
Had a call about the pups yesterday-sounds like a good home-BUT-told them I would call back today-central air went out yesterday. He wants the pups-=cannot afford them-much less provide a place for them to live. Gosh-I have been "here" a while-pups are huge-done tearing the house apart-just good"kids" 90%. Pups grew up since I found this site in June.
What a mess-(my non-addict hubby has)after reading the 2 sticky's and cussing me out-packing what he could find-told me to stick with this site. And correct my post of his age in drugs-started at 12-he is now 48.
Well, life does go on-another giant step forward-I think. Compared to other with SR I am a slow learner or just an old lady.
He wanted to know why the change-sorry SOB might think about it-make sense and then right back to his friends. Sick as it sounds-I would rather be in contact wit SR than call 911.
Just venting-sun will be up and may try again to tackle the world(heh) before it tackles me. Life does go on=at least mine is not a drug world-just clouded and foggy from the sorry AH. LOL
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
[Quote] He said I changed-thank God and wanted to know why. [Quote]
When my exabf was in jail I read "codependent no more' and then he saw the change in me and he was wondering what happened...he was asking who I had been talking to...
He said, "who have you been talking to?" "somebody is telling you sh*t, I know it!"
Haha..it really put a spin on his world to see that i was changing..
Like they say relapse is part of recovery and I think that goes for codepenents too...
Well chalk it up to experience, you will know better next time!
When my exabf was in jail I read "codependent no more' and then he saw the change in me and he was wondering what happened...he was asking who I had been talking to...
He said, "who have you been talking to?" "somebody is telling you sh*t, I know it!"
Haha..it really put a spin on his world to see that i was changing..
Like they say relapse is part of recovery and I think that goes for codepenents too...
Well chalk it up to experience, you will know better next time!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Well, life does go on-another giant step forward-I think. Compared to other with SR I am a slow learner or just an old lady.
Your post helped me today, more than you can ever know. I too am facing a change, regarding my work and a large contract I have been working on that has not been what I really want to do and that has taken far more of my time than I wanted to give. I think I "knew" that this wasn't right for me for some time, but I needed God to whack me with a plank to catch my attention. I have been struggling with a decision that my heart already knows is right, but letting fear of the unknown future get in my way.
This morning the answer is clear, I need to move on and go back to doing what I do best which happens to be what I like best. I just needed to take pause and accept what is and have faith in what will be.
I don't mean to hijack your post, it's not about me, but it is about how recovery works and sometimes it comes slow, but with slowness comes certainty that I am doing the right thing. Like you, I question why it takes me so long to see the light sometimes and why I hesitate to do the next right thing for me.
Perhaps you needed to see your ex in the light of how he really is in order to accept that the person he used to be, the person you would like him to be today, just isn't there right now.
Sometimes the light is blinding and hurts our eyes, but it is there to guide us and know that God takes us to where we are supposed to be. Today, I trust in that and know that His plan is always a good one.
Thank you for putting clarity into my day today, by sharing your light and showing me my path.
Hugs
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Join Date: Nov 2003
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Posts: 1,497
You are not a slow learner.. took me a LOT longer than it is taking YOU!
Yeah.. those of us here at SR are "sick" but if we were not here we would be a lot sicker!
He is quacking. Stay strong.
Yeah.. those of us here at SR are "sick" but if we were not here we would be a lot sicker!
He is quacking. Stay strong.
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Recovery is slow. A lot of the time it doesnt feel like I'm making any progress at all. Then, for one reason or another, I'm given an opportunity to see just how far I've really come. All those little baby steps have carried me in a new direction!
My ex became frustrated, then angry, then enraged when I started to set and enforce some boundaries. I remember one day when we were doing that dance we always did- he said this, I said that,he did this and I did that - and I did something different, something healthier for me. He actually stopped in his tracks, looked at me and said, "Hey, you're not doing this right. I say this and you say that, and I do this and you do that!" and I said, "nope not any more. Today and for the near future THIS is what I say". He was speechless, and then he was really mad. But you know what? So what. He was mad like a small child who wasn't getting his way.
Baby steps. And trust me, I am a slow learner too. That's why some of my recovery friends carry a skillet - so they can **WHACK** me upside the head when I need it.
Hugs and love
Cats
My ex became frustrated, then angry, then enraged when I started to set and enforce some boundaries. I remember one day when we were doing that dance we always did- he said this, I said that,he did this and I did that - and I did something different, something healthier for me. He actually stopped in his tracks, looked at me and said, "Hey, you're not doing this right. I say this and you say that, and I do this and you do that!" and I said, "nope not any more. Today and for the near future THIS is what I say". He was speechless, and then he was really mad. But you know what? So what. He was mad like a small child who wasn't getting his way.
Baby steps. And trust me, I am a slow learner too. That's why some of my recovery friends carry a skillet - so they can **WHACK** me upside the head when I need it.
Hugs and love
Cats
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
Thanks all-luv you all to death and being there for me. Sun came up-another day and a better day. Stayed up all night pondering. Yesterday was a good thing-got the "fuzzies" out of my brain-any doubts or question marks-yesterday answered them by facing him and finally seeing him for the lost soul he is.
He saw the change in me-he read the two stickys-he cried. Then anger like I have never seen. He said no one had ever called him an addict-like you said when he read the sticky about what addicts do-he saw himself and he knows where he has put me. At least it has him thinking-sooner or later=he went right back to his druggie friends. He was looking for his wife and best friend yesterday-he quacked & quacked-I listened-he needed meds from the ER-no narcotics. He brought the receipt back-amazing huh.
He quacked and quacked-I listened-he may actually have wanted to be honest and whatever-JUST TOO LATE-Me FIRST!!!!!!! He is so far down on the totem pole-I cannot find him.
Talked to my attorney for over 2 hrs. this am.-rather he talked to me. Sounded exactly like the stickys almost word for word. Advised about the druggie tenants-rather than paper-calmly tell them to move-less of a hornet's nest and problem. Well, tried it-I was calm,cool and polite. Was accepted well-for about 2 minutes-then SHE blew up-said I would get paperwork from(God knows who) because she did not like the way I talked to her children-I did tell them in no uncertain terms to stay out of my yard-quit banging on the door and quit calling for the dogs. She said she had good kids-I told her yes I agreed-good kids-just needed good parents. All the nieghbors have called the police about the kids-called child welfare-NOPE nothing can be done-kids are not abused-enviroment has nothing to do with the children.
She got her mouth going again and wanted to know if I already had the house rented-that took me by surprise-told her-yes it was rented-I didn't find the tenant-Robert did. He is my policeman friend for almost 20 yrs. now. He says he will take the blame.
Guess we could all write a book on our trials, madness and recovery. I truly did in the beginning think-recovery-was like turning off a light. HOW WRONG!!!! I learn each day from SR. I "get it", "I understand it"- and each day I try to practice it. "Heart twinges" still tug-but less and less.
Going to be a long hard road-this recovery process, ya'll have been down the same road and are making it!!!!!! I can make it also.
Thanks for being here for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He saw the change in me-he read the two stickys-he cried. Then anger like I have never seen. He said no one had ever called him an addict-like you said when he read the sticky about what addicts do-he saw himself and he knows where he has put me. At least it has him thinking-sooner or later=he went right back to his druggie friends. He was looking for his wife and best friend yesterday-he quacked & quacked-I listened-he needed meds from the ER-no narcotics. He brought the receipt back-amazing huh.
He quacked and quacked-I listened-he may actually have wanted to be honest and whatever-JUST TOO LATE-Me FIRST!!!!!!! He is so far down on the totem pole-I cannot find him.
Talked to my attorney for over 2 hrs. this am.-rather he talked to me. Sounded exactly like the stickys almost word for word. Advised about the druggie tenants-rather than paper-calmly tell them to move-less of a hornet's nest and problem. Well, tried it-I was calm,cool and polite. Was accepted well-for about 2 minutes-then SHE blew up-said I would get paperwork from(God knows who) because she did not like the way I talked to her children-I did tell them in no uncertain terms to stay out of my yard-quit banging on the door and quit calling for the dogs. She said she had good kids-I told her yes I agreed-good kids-just needed good parents. All the nieghbors have called the police about the kids-called child welfare-NOPE nothing can be done-kids are not abused-enviroment has nothing to do with the children.
She got her mouth going again and wanted to know if I already had the house rented-that took me by surprise-told her-yes it was rented-I didn't find the tenant-Robert did. He is my policeman friend for almost 20 yrs. now. He says he will take the blame.
Guess we could all write a book on our trials, madness and recovery. I truly did in the beginning think-recovery-was like turning off a light. HOW WRONG!!!! I learn each day from SR. I "get it", "I understand it"- and each day I try to practice it. "Heart twinges" still tug-but less and less.
Going to be a long hard road-this recovery process, ya'll have been down the same road and are making it!!!!!! I can make it also.
Thanks for being here for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2003
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You will make it and we are welcoming you.
Rocky road but we all learn to walk around the rocks.
Fact is, it sounds like you are getting on up the road a bit and soon we all may be catching up to YOU!
Rocky road but we all learn to walk around the rocks.
Fact is, it sounds like you are getting on up the road a bit and soon we all may be catching up to YOU!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
A giggle!
Originally Posted by Elana 
You will make it and we are welcoming you.
Rocky road but we all learn to walk around the rocks.
Fact is, it sounds like you are getting on up the road a bit and soon we all may be catching up to YOU!
Rocky road but we all learn to walk around the rocks.
Fact is, it sounds like you are getting on up the road a bit and soon we all may be catching up to YOU!
Going to be another long sleepless night-thinking about acting like a kid and jerking a few chains. Druggie party at the rent house-RIGHT NOW!!!! I can just imagine the conversation of what a bit= I am. Party needs to stop!!!!!!
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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Lady Bug-hard headed-me too! Loved the bulldozer down the center of the mind. At least we can have a giggle. AH turned my mind to mush-SR got it almost back. His game is up-although he may very well show up with a bulldozer. Never such anger and hostility as I saw yesterday. Anger out of the drug tenants-yep-a tad concerned. You take AH & his druggie friend getting high-in my rent house-no telling what might happen.Mellow druggies-no violence- but in all honesty-NOW I AM SCARED!!!!!!
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