feeling really bad
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Relapse part of recovery?? WHY??? They have the tools, clean 64 days and go right back----WHY?
Every been on a diet? If so, do you remember you FIRST diet? I do. I quit eating for several days. I got weak. I got dizzy. And once I started eating again... I regained every pound I lost.
What did I learn from that? I learned that particular "method" of dieting did not work for me. I had already 'read' that people could not be successful that way, but I had to DO it to KNOW it.
I think relapse is like that, as well. There is a voice inside of us that says, "This time it will be different"... you know, sort of like we do when we reach out and rescue our addicts?
"This time it will be different..." is the thing we have to fight against - no matter WHAT our addiction.
It doesn't make us bad people... just stubborn. My prayers are that stubborness will stay with her when she figures out how to be clean and sober.
And prayers to you... I know how much this hurts. I've lived in the dark pit. It can ... and does... get better.
Please know I am praying for both of you... right this minute. (((caleesnana))))
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Thank you all, again. I know all you say is correct, I am just in the"pit" again.
My granddaugher is not my AD's! My son has full custody of his daughter as her mother is in the army, didn't want to be married or have a child. Ironically, she has had another child w/ another man and they are over, and she found another live in! She is currently in Kuwait until March 08. She never had a chance as she was raised by whoever would take her, child of young parents, American Indian father who is an alcoholic! My son did his tour in Iraq, and did not "reup" as he wanted. He stepped up to the plate and I am very proud of him! He is not a mom, but I do the best I can.
That's another this. The grandchild has "issues" w/ abandonment and thought of Kasey as a mother. Kasey new it, wrote her a "sorry" letter, told her she would never leave her again, and did !!! That's when the baby started to wet the bed, she never did that even while pottytraining. She hasn't in 4 days, so maybe she is getting over it again. AD can't understand why her brother hates her!
Just wanted to clairify my mini series life!!
susan
My granddaugher is not my AD's! My son has full custody of his daughter as her mother is in the army, didn't want to be married or have a child. Ironically, she has had another child w/ another man and they are over, and she found another live in! She is currently in Kuwait until March 08. She never had a chance as she was raised by whoever would take her, child of young parents, American Indian father who is an alcoholic! My son did his tour in Iraq, and did not "reup" as he wanted. He stepped up to the plate and I am very proud of him! He is not a mom, but I do the best I can.
That's another this. The grandchild has "issues" w/ abandonment and thought of Kasey as a mother. Kasey new it, wrote her a "sorry" letter, told her she would never leave her again, and did !!! That's when the baby started to wet the bed, she never did that even while pottytraining. She hasn't in 4 days, so maybe she is getting over it again. AD can't understand why her brother hates her!
Just wanted to clairify my mini series life!!
susan
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((Susan))))
Sorry for the misunderstanding. I thought you were raising your ad's daughter.
My bad. lol
Well, you do have a mini series goin', huh? Don't we all?
I commend your son for stepping up and taking custody of his daughter.
I'm sorry her mother is not there for her.
I feel for the baby, I do. It's such a shame when small children are hurt or abandoned by adults whom they love and are attached to.
My great nephew, Gage has "issues" and is medicated for adhd. God love'em, he misses his mom and dad so badly, my sister says. He asks about them often.
All my sister can tell him is that mom and dad are very sick and will be home when they get well. That really sucks! Because she has allowed them to just "show up" at her place and lay up for a day or two, hoping that this is their rock bottom, only to have them leave again a couple of days later. I warn her over and over of the consequences and how this is affecting Gage. It burns me up.
I want to be a grandma with all my heart, Susan, but I swear, if my as were to tell me he'd gotten someone pregnant...
Thank God he's always been careful or just d*mn lucky. lol
My daughter and her significant other may one day adopt, but for now are just getting their lives mapped out first. They are 20 and 21. I can wait. lol
You are still a very large part of Cailee's life and she needs you to be strong and a constant in her life. Focus on that. Just keep having faith that your daughter will one day seek recovery and it sticks. You know, recovery is for life.
I recently quit smoking (on day 15 now) and I tell ya, it's rough sometimes.
When I think about "not" smoking for the rest of my life, it scares the bejesus outta me. lol
One day at a time, right?
Sending you tender hugs, enormous strength, and lots and lots of prayers.
Your friend,
Linda
Sorry for the misunderstanding. I thought you were raising your ad's daughter.
My bad. lol
Well, you do have a mini series goin', huh? Don't we all?
I commend your son for stepping up and taking custody of his daughter.
I'm sorry her mother is not there for her.
I feel for the baby, I do. It's such a shame when small children are hurt or abandoned by adults whom they love and are attached to.
My great nephew, Gage has "issues" and is medicated for adhd. God love'em, he misses his mom and dad so badly, my sister says. He asks about them often.
All my sister can tell him is that mom and dad are very sick and will be home when they get well. That really sucks! Because she has allowed them to just "show up" at her place and lay up for a day or two, hoping that this is their rock bottom, only to have them leave again a couple of days later. I warn her over and over of the consequences and how this is affecting Gage. It burns me up.
I want to be a grandma with all my heart, Susan, but I swear, if my as were to tell me he'd gotten someone pregnant...
Thank God he's always been careful or just d*mn lucky. lol
My daughter and her significant other may one day adopt, but for now are just getting their lives mapped out first. They are 20 and 21. I can wait. lol
You are still a very large part of Cailee's life and she needs you to be strong and a constant in her life. Focus on that. Just keep having faith that your daughter will one day seek recovery and it sticks. You know, recovery is for life.
I recently quit smoking (on day 15 now) and I tell ya, it's rough sometimes.
When I think about "not" smoking for the rest of my life, it scares the bejesus outta me. lol
One day at a time, right?
Sending you tender hugs, enormous strength, and lots and lots of prayers.
Your friend,
Linda
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Two weeks today. Yesterday was the anniversary of Chad's OD that she witnessed. Wonder if she thought of him? Wonder if she ever thinks of any of us that loved her?
I was better yesterday, but today have burst into tears twice at work. They know what's going on so just give me "that look". Poor mom w/ the druggie runaway. I hate the look.
I made a list yesterday of things that I hate about her, mostly for my own therapy. If she cared she'd be here--I just filed it away for my book that will become the best mini series since Roots!!! If you have a suggestion on who you would like to play you, please let me know.
Love and thanks to you all, you'll never know how much your support and kindess means to me. You are my life line.
susan
I was better yesterday, but today have burst into tears twice at work. They know what's going on so just give me "that look". Poor mom w/ the druggie runaway. I hate the look.
I made a list yesterday of things that I hate about her, mostly for my own therapy. If she cared she'd be here--I just filed it away for my book that will become the best mini series since Roots!!! If you have a suggestion on who you would like to play you, please let me know.
Love and thanks to you all, you'll never know how much your support and kindess means to me. You are my life line.
susan
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