Sure enough, got a call Monday
Thatswayworldgoesround
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Deep South
Posts: 105
Sure enough, got a call Monday
I got a call first thing Monday morning from our son. They had a bed for him at the addiction center. He came over here and was there by early afternoon.
I talked to a residential counselor yesterday. It sounds as though they have some family counseling time there (I honestly forgot the hours she told me, I was so nervous for some reason when I spoke to her) and the visiting hours are on Sunday. He gets a one minute call once a week (today), and she relayed that he had asked to call to get some cigerettes.
I guess whenever I can I'll take the cigerettes. I know it's hard to quit everything at once, but my husband told my I would just be doing more enabling by getting even that for him.
It sounds as though if his counselor by talking to him decides it, he can have the option of a halfway house after he gets out (although I don't know in his case since he has no insurance). It is my prayer that this would happen. 28 days is just not much when he's been in addiction for a few years and I know cocaine is a sneaky lover. Otherwise, when he gets out he will either be homeless or come here................I just don't know and feel like we ought to make some sort of decision here on what we will do if he asks.
I'm really on shaky ground here. He really was ready to go, but if he gets out and doesn't do a halfway house and comes here, I dread the worst, past history and track record and all that.
I just don't know today.
P.S. I'm plugging away at working on certification for this call center thing at home. Somehow I thought it would be a little easier
I get two trys at each certification, have made it though two so far and have about six or so to finish in order to be able to start the job. Please pray for me. My retention with my memory is not good with the bipolar thing and I so need to feel as though I'm contributing to our finances and also feel productive. So far i've learned that if I'm taking notes on every single thing I read, I can pass the tests, but they are getting harder..........yikes.
Love,
Bets
I talked to a residential counselor yesterday. It sounds as though they have some family counseling time there (I honestly forgot the hours she told me, I was so nervous for some reason when I spoke to her) and the visiting hours are on Sunday. He gets a one minute call once a week (today), and she relayed that he had asked to call to get some cigerettes.
I guess whenever I can I'll take the cigerettes. I know it's hard to quit everything at once, but my husband told my I would just be doing more enabling by getting even that for him.
It sounds as though if his counselor by talking to him decides it, he can have the option of a halfway house after he gets out (although I don't know in his case since he has no insurance). It is my prayer that this would happen. 28 days is just not much when he's been in addiction for a few years and I know cocaine is a sneaky lover. Otherwise, when he gets out he will either be homeless or come here................I just don't know and feel like we ought to make some sort of decision here on what we will do if he asks.
I'm really on shaky ground here. He really was ready to go, but if he gets out and doesn't do a halfway house and comes here, I dread the worst, past history and track record and all that.
I just don't know today.
P.S. I'm plugging away at working on certification for this call center thing at home. Somehow I thought it would be a little easier
I get two trys at each certification, have made it though two so far and have about six or so to finish in order to be able to start the job. Please pray for me. My retention with my memory is not good with the bipolar thing and I so need to feel as though I'm contributing to our finances and also feel productive. So far i've learned that if I'm taking notes on every single thing I read, I can pass the tests, but they are getting harder..........yikes.Love,
Bets
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
((((((bets)))))
I am SO HAPPY to hear that your son went into treatment. I hope and pray...with every ounce of my being...that THIS is his time. I really and truly do. I also hope that he has the option of a halfway house when he gets out...It seems like most addicts would lack insurance...so I hope that isn't an issue.
Good luck with those tests. I'm glad that you have something else to focus all of your attention and energy on right now. I'm praying that it all works out for you.
Love ya Bets...
Huge hugs and prayers...
I am SO HAPPY to hear that your son went into treatment. I hope and pray...with every ounce of my being...that THIS is his time. I really and truly do. I also hope that he has the option of a halfway house when he gets out...It seems like most addicts would lack insurance...so I hope that isn't an issue.
Good luck with those tests. I'm glad that you have something else to focus all of your attention and energy on right now. I'm praying that it all works out for you.
Love ya Bets...
Huge hugs and prayers...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
I am glad your son is getting help...
my advice is to get an exit plan set asap....28 days isn't enough time and it goes by in a flash (much faster than those same 28 days feel when they are spent worrying and policing an addict at home!)
my son is in a long term residential house (a christian half way house) and it has been a blessing for us all....we could not have supported him thru early recovery...the people he live with know about addiction (many suffer from it too) and the staff is conscientious....we could not live the seasons of recovery any longer....his path has not been a straight one (forgive the pun!) and it is much better for all that he lives and works on his life there (not here)
wishing you and your son success
keeping you in my prayers
my advice is to get an exit plan set asap....28 days isn't enough time and it goes by in a flash (much faster than those same 28 days feel when they are spent worrying and policing an addict at home!)
my son is in a long term residential house (a christian half way house) and it has been a blessing for us all....we could not have supported him thru early recovery...the people he live with know about addiction (many suffer from it too) and the staff is conscientious....we could not live the seasons of recovery any longer....his path has not been a straight one (forgive the pun!) and it is much better for all that he lives and works on his life there (not here)
wishing you and your son success
keeping you in my prayers
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SC
Posts: 1,027
I am so praying that its his time Bets.....for him and for your family. I pray that he goes in there with an open mind and willingness to learn the skills he needs to cope with a life without drugs and applies them in every aspect. I am also praying that you'll have an easy time with these tests and that you'll pass them with flying colors!
((((Bets))))
((((Bets))))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Bets, If he knows now that coming to live with you is NOT an option, maybe he will choose the smarter path, ie halfway house. You already know that living at home does not work for him or for you. Time for him to take the plunge into adulthood Prayers for you too that you pass the certification with flying colors. Hugs, Marle
Prayers for you too that you pass the certification with flying colors. Hugs, Marle
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Bets, I'm very happy for you and your son and I pray this is the first of many "next right things" he will be doing in his life.
In our area there are several halfway houses that don't accept insurance....places like Oxford Houses or other more structured programs. The ones we looked at all made getting a job within the first few weeks and contributing to the home part of the program because it helped to learn or relearn responsibilities. So the money issue seemed to work its way out. I too struggled with the early days of recovery...too stressful for all of us.
Prayers for him that his time has come and for you that all goes well with the certifications. I have no doubt...you are a strong, talented and inspiring woman! Hugs
In our area there are several halfway houses that don't accept insurance....places like Oxford Houses or other more structured programs. The ones we looked at all made getting a job within the first few weeks and contributing to the home part of the program because it helped to learn or relearn responsibilities. So the money issue seemed to work its way out. I too struggled with the early days of recovery...too stressful for all of us.
Prayers for him that his time has come and for you that all goes well with the certifications. I have no doubt...you are a strong, talented and inspiring woman! Hugs
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
That's wonderful news and I know what a relief it is for you. My prayers are with both of you.
Bets, many people finish rehab and then have to find work (or arrange social services) and get a place of their own, or share a place, and these people have about the same odds of maintaining their sobriety as those who go home to a place like yours. I'm saying this because I know I always "made" myself the "only alternative", and I was wrong.
I just wanted to share that to remind you that you don't have to be "the alternative to a sober house". And the sooner he knows that, the sooner he can begin to make other arrangement.
Just my thoughts because I care.
Hugs
Bets, many people finish rehab and then have to find work (or arrange social services) and get a place of their own, or share a place, and these people have about the same odds of maintaining their sobriety as those who go home to a place like yours. I'm saying this because I know I always "made" myself the "only alternative", and I was wrong.
I just wanted to share that to remind you that you don't have to be "the alternative to a sober house". And the sooner he knows that, the sooner he can begin to make other arrangement.
Just my thoughts because I care.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i am happy your son is in treatment.it sounds as if he is doing good. keep posting & let us know how thing are going.you home work sounds as if it is taking off good.i am glad about that.prayers for your son & your family.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Wonderful news Bets...it is your time to be happy. Hoping your son succeeds!!
One at a time some of our sons + daughters are finding their way to sobriety and maturity (okay, maturity might be a stretch) Let's keep the momentum going!
By the way, My son went to a sober liv home after rehab once and bec he had to pay his way (I paid rent + exp the 1st month only and then not another dime) He got a job right away that he ended up having for 18 mos. When they truly are working a program they can make their way. You'll see if you get out of the way.
One at a time some of our sons + daughters are finding their way to sobriety and maturity (okay, maturity might be a stretch) Let's keep the momentum going!
By the way, My son went to a sober liv home after rehab once and bec he had to pay his way (I paid rent + exp the 1st month only and then not another dime) He got a job right away that he ended up having for 18 mos. When they truly are working a program they can make their way. You'll see if you get out of the way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Orange, Texas
Posts: 36
A Recovery Home (half-way house) was the way my son had to go. I had to set my boundries. He is now responsible for paying his own rent, food, bus pass, etc. They have rules (not as strict as rehab) and they have to go to Intensive outpatient therapy (IOP), NA/AA meetings,and they have chores. My son's biggest adjustements have been the bigger city and the bus system.
Adding you to my prayer list.........
Lou Ann
Adding you to my prayer list.........
Lou Ann
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Bets, Sounds like things are falling into place for both of you. I think a sober house would be better. It is so much easier for them not to do what they should be doing if they go home. I think they need that structure in their lives to get them into a good solid routine. I know when my daughter came home after rehab she couldn't stick to a routine. Best to look into to this soon.
Good luck.
Hugs...............Lo
Good luck.
Hugs...............Lo
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
My kids and I started calling rehab ... "drug camp". I would get them new underwear and pajammas... cigarettes and shampoos. It wasn't too much, and I didn't mind. But... I do wonder how it might have been for them to not get so much.
I did what I could live with... and with each subsequent rehab, I did a little less than the time before.
My prayers are that this can be the time he "hears" the stuff... that he can meet someone who touches him....
His HP is walking with him, you know.
I did what I could live with... and with each subsequent rehab, I did a little less than the time before.
My prayers are that this can be the time he "hears" the stuff... that he can meet someone who touches him....
His HP is walking with him, you know.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Bets,
I'm glad he was willing and ready to go. What a great sign!
I'm with some of the others. If he isn't given the option of coming to your house, he will have to choose another place. But if you give him the option of coming home, then you are opening the door to life back in the chaos. I just know that did NOT work for us. AD went to a sober living home situation and I was so grateful. We would have killed each other if we had tried living together after getting out of rehab.
Hugs and best wishes for you and your son,
Hangin' In
I'm glad he was willing and ready to go. What a great sign!
I'm with some of the others. If he isn't given the option of coming to your house, he will have to choose another place. But if you give him the option of coming home, then you are opening the door to life back in the chaos. I just know that did NOT work for us. AD went to a sober living home situation and I was so grateful. We would have killed each other if we had tried living together after getting out of rehab.
Hugs and best wishes for you and your son,
Hangin' In
Thatswayworldgoesround
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Deep South
Posts: 105
Thank you all so much. This has been weighing so heavily on my mind. I do feel that I would like to see if he makes a decision for himself with his counselors, knowing his addiction is not new, that he should go to halfway house for long enough to gain confidence, get that job, that even if he needed to come here after six months it would be different.
I know in my heart I personally cannot do it again, it's just too much. I will be praying for strength for us and for him and for all of you.
I am really busy trying to finish certifications this week, so forgive me if I don't respond to others right this minute.
I will be back.
Your words have encouraged me to do the next right thing (I hope) on our end.
I just pray that God will give him enough insight to know he needs to do more recovery elsewhere before even thinking of coming here at all.
I AM NOT A REHAB....................................repeat after me............I AM NOT.........
Love you all so much,
Bets
I know in my heart I personally cannot do it again, it's just too much. I will be praying for strength for us and for him and for all of you.
I am really busy trying to finish certifications this week, so forgive me if I don't respond to others right this minute.
I will be back.
Your words have encouraged me to do the next right thing (I hope) on our end.
I just pray that God will give him enough insight to know he needs to do more recovery elsewhere before even thinking of coming here at all.
I AM NOT A REHAB....................................repeat after me............I AM NOT.........
Love you all so much,
Bets
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