does Recovery work ever become Excessive?
Bridge CLOSED
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
does Recovery work ever become Excessive?
I have been very busy lately and do not go on the computer at night after work most of the time. It is just such a time waster and I have things to do. I have also backed off of meetings quite a bit.. again due to other things (summer is short!).
However, I am wondering if sometimes people make recovery their life's work at the expense of non recovery activities?
I know ppl at AlAnon who take trips together, walk together, go shopping etc etc. and their entire circle of friends become AlAnon or AA friends. I have never been invited along on any of this and would likely not go or be involved if I was invited. Perhaps they sense this or perhaps they have all been going to the same group for so long it just evolved that way.
Meanwhile, I have other people I do some things with (and Non AlAnon things I do). the further away I get from XABF and all that chaos, and the more I just LIVE, the less inclined I am to have my life revolve around recovery.
When XABF first left, my entire day to day living was recovery and it was of tremendous benefit. Now, it seems, that other things are my focus and, while I continue to work on recovery, it is not the center piece of my life.
There are areas I continue to work on (like whether or not I want to ever have another relationship) but I feel as if I have moved on in a lot of areas. I am single and I live alone. My time is mine (what the cats and dog don't demand).
I see similar patterns with others who have split with or detached successfully from their A's.. they come here and post like crazy and then less and less.. often moving on to different relationships and different lives.
It seems some folks become as involved and obsessed with recovery and stay there while others do for awhile and then back off and sort of move on (not necessarily away).
Just wondering your take on this.
However, I am wondering if sometimes people make recovery their life's work at the expense of non recovery activities?
I know ppl at AlAnon who take trips together, walk together, go shopping etc etc. and their entire circle of friends become AlAnon or AA friends. I have never been invited along on any of this and would likely not go or be involved if I was invited. Perhaps they sense this or perhaps they have all been going to the same group for so long it just evolved that way.
Meanwhile, I have other people I do some things with (and Non AlAnon things I do). the further away I get from XABF and all that chaos, and the more I just LIVE, the less inclined I am to have my life revolve around recovery.
When XABF first left, my entire day to day living was recovery and it was of tremendous benefit. Now, it seems, that other things are my focus and, while I continue to work on recovery, it is not the center piece of my life.
There are areas I continue to work on (like whether or not I want to ever have another relationship) but I feel as if I have moved on in a lot of areas. I am single and I live alone. My time is mine (what the cats and dog don't demand).
I see similar patterns with others who have split with or detached successfully from their A's.. they come here and post like crazy and then less and less.. often moving on to different relationships and different lives.
It seems some folks become as involved and obsessed with recovery and stay there while others do for awhile and then back off and sort of move on (not necessarily away).
Just wondering your take on this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: VA
Posts: 90
Elana, I was thinking about this particular subject last night as I considered the number of posts some people make to SR. (Do not infer that I am being critical, I realize people have different needs and varying amounts of time to spend on a computer each day.) I spend several hours a day reading through and pondering what contributors have to say. I wondered if I were getting a little obsessive-compulsive about the issues raised surrounding addiction.
I also think that the relationship with the addict in our lives is significant. If our addicts are Xs, then maybe as we move away from them, we move away from the need for all of the support in recovery. If our addicts are our children or current bf, gf, or husbands, we continue to need to work on recovery and maintain connections to many kinds of support.
I have grown close to people who are also in recovery. I do have connections that I will maintain on a social basis. I go to a meditation class with one member of my AAnon group.
I also have a yoga class in 10 minutes and will continue this post later in the day.
G
I also think that the relationship with the addict in our lives is significant. If our addicts are Xs, then maybe as we move away from them, we move away from the need for all of the support in recovery. If our addicts are our children or current bf, gf, or husbands, we continue to need to work on recovery and maintain connections to many kinds of support.
I have grown close to people who are also in recovery. I do have connections that I will maintain on a social basis. I go to a meditation class with one member of my AAnon group.
I also have a yoga class in 10 minutes and will continue this post later in the day.
G
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Mnay of us have issues of dysfunctionaility that go back a lot farther than relationships, or even having our children, usually there' s some sorta pattern even if its just in our reactions, for me I forever have to work on my recovery, if you dont practice something you lose it
And usually many try to socialize with like minded people.
Excessiveness is probably very individual
And usually many try to socialize with like minded people.
Excessiveness is probably very individual
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: VA
Posts: 90
Recovery for some people means dealing with relationships and patterns that are deeply rooted from childhood. Consider the codependence of a child reared by parents who were alcohol and/or drug abusers compared to a person who finds out in her early 60s that her son is an addict. Cinderella also suggests dysfunctionality requires long-term work, even continual work. I agree. The degree of formality, excess, socialization depends on an individual's state of mind and other social supports.
I cannot help but notice how I have pulled away from the people in my social circle who are unaware of my son's addiction. Much of my current mental focus is on dealing with my relationship with my son. So I guess I am obsessed. I will talk to my counselor about that this afternoon. :-)
In other words, I agree 100% with Cinderella.
I cannot help but notice how I have pulled away from the people in my social circle who are unaware of my son's addiction. Much of my current mental focus is on dealing with my relationship with my son. So I guess I am obsessed. I will talk to my counselor about that this afternoon. :-)
In other words, I agree 100% with Cinderella.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Ive been reading a book on codependency written by 3 doctors, sorry cant remember the name, and it has been very enlightening, even connectingsaying families 3 generations ago filled with rage-aholics, but no substance abuse, or passive aggressive people and as the pattern repeats itself through generations codependency starts to form. I found it rather enlightening. It also touches on the after effects and denial of codependency in its true form. Has a few pages devoted to Scrooge, from a night before Christmas and considers him a scarey result of an extreme codependant filled with bitterness and selfishness. As codependants often end up at one extreme or another with no middle balance. Ill ahve to get back with the name of the book, but I truly think everyone whose ever been touched by any part of codependency should read it
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
We all have made valid points here. There was a time I was almost never here online for a year...and then again lately for several months.
Often it has been that my work required travel and I have known some people here for years and they know me. So I am able to keep up a social network wherever I may be....as the laptop goes with me. That and a phone.
Right now I am home alot and want to be with my husband as he is disabled and has been having some problems....so I am hanging out here more than I need.
I am between work projects also. have done some part time work where I am now.
I don't attend meetings or go on outings as such.
I go out with hubby when he is able.
Whatever floats your boat. All of us are unique as are our needs and wants.
Often it has been that my work required travel and I have known some people here for years and they know me. So I am able to keep up a social network wherever I may be....as the laptop goes with me. That and a phone.
Right now I am home alot and want to be with my husband as he is disabled and has been having some problems....so I am hanging out here more than I need.
I am between work projects also. have done some part time work where I am now.
I don't attend meetings or go on outings as such.
I go out with hubby when he is able.
Whatever floats your boat. All of us are unique as are our needs and wants.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Hmmmm...guess it depends on how you define "recovery." I don't have addiction in my life now but I realized that the "anon" programs have been beneficial to me and those around me because I have and continue to make positive changes in myself. That takes reinforcement so it will become habit instead of the habits I developed over the years. Things like taking care of myself, searching out my character defects and trying to change them, being more spiritual (definitely the biggest part for me...I never want to loose the spirituality I have discovered through recovery) and giving back to help others who are experiencing the pain of active addiction in threir lives. So that's why I stay here and continue to go to my home group. My life does not revolve around either...I have so much to be grateful for and so many things I enjoy. I consider some of the other things I do...working out routinely; walking or running every day; hiking, meditating, kayaking...all part of recovery in some way too because it helps me grow spiritually and emotionally.
When the worst of addiction and its aftermath was in my life, I did need to double up on meetings and come here for long periods of time. But I believe HP gave me that chance to get my "crash course" so i could deal with what happened.
I do consider myself a work in progress and I will be until the day I die. Program helps me with that progress regardless of what happened in terms of addiction in my life. That's just me.
When the worst of addiction and its aftermath was in my life, I did need to double up on meetings and come here for long periods of time. But I believe HP gave me that chance to get my "crash course" so i could deal with what happened.
I do consider myself a work in progress and I will be until the day I die. Program helps me with that progress regardless of what happened in terms of addiction in my life. That's just me.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I went to alanon faithfully for 4 yrs. Now I go sporatically. I stayed until I really had recovered and actualized the 12 steps. I often go now as 12th step work to carry the message and sponsor others. My addict is my son so it helps me to share with other parents in the same situation. I have made dear friends in the same situation because we have a level of deep connection that started with common pain. The key is to learn lessons that you carry forward. Meetings also made me a better listener and able to communicate openly and honestly in all areas of my life. Now I am actually changed so the recovery mtgs. aren't such a big part of my life.
Bridge CLOSED
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
FWIW I was not suggesting we move AWAY from recovery but that as time passes what recovery is to each of us may change. It has for me.
This is not to say that I do not use the program (I do.. it is helpful in all my life). It is not that I am not spiritual (I am but thru the additional venue of church). It is not that I am (or anyone is) "cured."
It just seems that some times while continuing to utilize tools from Recovery Tool Box, we move in a different direction with a different focal point and that is different for all of us.
(PS: Not to be a pick but.. OK.. to be a pick.. LOL Scrooge was in "A Christmas Carol" with tiny Tim and Bob Cratchet etc. and "The Night Before Christmas" is a poem. My Dad read us "The Night Before Christmas" in its entirety from 'My Little Bookhouse" when we were kids. It is a favorite memory of mine. "As dry leaves before the Wild Hurricane fly...." I just love that part!)
This is not to say that I do not use the program (I do.. it is helpful in all my life). It is not that I am not spiritual (I am but thru the additional venue of church). It is not that I am (or anyone is) "cured."
It just seems that some times while continuing to utilize tools from Recovery Tool Box, we move in a different direction with a different focal point and that is different for all of us.
(PS: Not to be a pick but.. OK.. to be a pick.. LOL Scrooge was in "A Christmas Carol" with tiny Tim and Bob Cratchet etc. and "The Night Before Christmas" is a poem. My Dad read us "The Night Before Christmas" in its entirety from 'My Little Bookhouse" when we were kids. It is a favorite memory of mine. "As dry leaves before the Wild Hurricane fly...." I just love that part!)
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I was not suggesting we move AWAY from recovery but that as time passes what recovery is to each of us may change
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I think many of us, (and certainly me!) tend to become obsessive over every thing. I know I have become obsessive over drinking, drugs, eating, smoking, exercise and other things.
I do believe I have to manage my obsessions. It is sometimes difficult HERE to recognize what exactly is my obsession... it turns out that the "recovery" part was masking (for me) the computer interaction obsession I tend to have.
Because before I ever got here, I was already spending too much time on the computer. It was far more palatable to tell myself I was "doing recovery" rather than "Playing solitaire" until the wee hours of the morning.
The red flag to me is - Is it interfering with family or work? Are others noticing and commenting?
My sponsor is a good, objective person to touch base with on this. She can see me in a way I don't see myself, and is not someone who lives with me (and who may have a slew of other resentments perking along).
So, yeah, I have to watch it. A lot.
Along with all my other obsessions. But I am getting better... and at least my recovery has brought me some awareness and insight... and forgiveness around these issues.
Good post. ((hugs))
I do believe I have to manage my obsessions. It is sometimes difficult HERE to recognize what exactly is my obsession... it turns out that the "recovery" part was masking (for me) the computer interaction obsession I tend to have.
Because before I ever got here, I was already spending too much time on the computer. It was far more palatable to tell myself I was "doing recovery" rather than "Playing solitaire" until the wee hours of the morning.
The red flag to me is - Is it interfering with family or work? Are others noticing and commenting?
My sponsor is a good, objective person to touch base with on this. She can see me in a way I don't see myself, and is not someone who lives with me (and who may have a slew of other resentments perking along).
So, yeah, I have to watch it. A lot.
Along with all my other obsessions. But I am getting better... and at least my recovery has brought me some awareness and insight... and forgiveness around these issues.
Good post. ((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: At the zoo
Posts: 244
OK I'm probably going to be raked over the coals about this but here goes.
I know a person who has made recovery their life, they go to AA meetings, GA meetings, FA meetings, NA meetings, Al anon meetings and any other meetings they can get to. Now this person has been in AA for over 20 years, GA for over 10.
All they can speak about is their recovery and their life with recovery and their life before recovery. They seem totally oblivious of other people and what they are going through and they can only speak in a way that could be described as sharing.
As a senior AA program person they sponsor other people, but never seem to have the time to connect with their sponsees and leave the poor people hanging for weeks on end.
Yes, this is an extreme example, but for this person meetings may have become a compulsion and an addiction.
Bigsis got it right about managing obsessions and greet mentioned a "crash course" of meetings but 20 years of crash course might be a little much.
I know a person who has made recovery their life, they go to AA meetings, GA meetings, FA meetings, NA meetings, Al anon meetings and any other meetings they can get to. Now this person has been in AA for over 20 years, GA for over 10.
All they can speak about is their recovery and their life with recovery and their life before recovery. They seem totally oblivious of other people and what they are going through and they can only speak in a way that could be described as sharing.
As a senior AA program person they sponsor other people, but never seem to have the time to connect with their sponsees and leave the poor people hanging for weeks on end.
Yes, this is an extreme example, but for this person meetings may have become a compulsion and an addiction.
Bigsis got it right about managing obsessions and greet mentioned a "crash course" of meetings but 20 years of crash course might be a little much.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
[QUOTE=BigSis;1395294]I think many of us, (and certainly me!) tend to become obsessive over every thing.
Because before I ever got here, I was already spending too much time on the computer. It was far more palatable to tell myself I was "doing recovery" rather than "Playing solitaire" until the wee hours of the morning.
QUOTE]
I tend to get obsessive over any subject I get interested in...for a while and then it's a new subject.
I too love the internet...so much information to look at!! Like having a library right here.
I just got this laptop after not having internet access for a year. I have an online class and a class in writing research papers, so I'm online a lot looking for stuff. Then I pop in here and look. That's partly why you see me around here so much. Once the semester is over, I'm going to be on this computer a lot less.
I have never been to a meeting. I guess this and reading is my recovery. And both have helped me a lot. I have been able to see that I have had a codependency thing in all my romantic relationships.
That has been a great discovery, now I strive to not repeat the pattern.
I think that for some people, once they get it figured out, they move on because they are not dealing with an addict in their life anymore. and for others like mentioned by Cinder and others above, they need continuing support.
I imagine there are people too, who get obsessed with recovery, just like people do with anything.
Because before I ever got here, I was already spending too much time on the computer. It was far more palatable to tell myself I was "doing recovery" rather than "Playing solitaire" until the wee hours of the morning.
QUOTE]
I tend to get obsessive over any subject I get interested in...for a while and then it's a new subject.
I too love the internet...so much information to look at!! Like having a library right here.
I just got this laptop after not having internet access for a year. I have an online class and a class in writing research papers, so I'm online a lot looking for stuff. Then I pop in here and look. That's partly why you see me around here so much. Once the semester is over, I'm going to be on this computer a lot less.
I have never been to a meeting. I guess this and reading is my recovery. And both have helped me a lot. I have been able to see that I have had a codependency thing in all my romantic relationships.
That has been a great discovery, now I strive to not repeat the pattern.
I think that for some people, once they get it figured out, they move on because they are not dealing with an addict in their life anymore. and for others like mentioned by Cinder and others above, they need continuing support.
I imagine there are people too, who get obsessed with recovery, just like people do with anything.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
The things I do, I do because I enjoy them. Yes everything we do can get out of hand and take over our life. I look for the balance so I don't repeat the same mistakes again.
I know that I can ge so involved in anything I set out to do that I need keep watch on myself. A balanced life has many parts.
Just today I heard a nice sermon on the radio that touched on over doing.
Good can be the enemy of better.
Good can be the enemy of great.
I can be doing so much good that I miss out on getting the better or the great.
Yup...balance is nice.
I know that I can ge so involved in anything I set out to do that I need keep watch on myself. A balanced life has many parts.
Just today I heard a nice sermon on the radio that touched on over doing.
Good can be the enemy of better.
Good can be the enemy of great.
I can be doing so much good that I miss out on getting the better or the great.
Yup...balance is nice.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
Originally Posted by Elana 
When XABF first left, my entire day to day living was recovery and it was of tremendous benefit. Now, it seems, that other things are my focus and, while I continue to work on recovery, it is not the center piece of my life.
There are areas I continue to work on (like whether or not I want to ever have another relationship) but I feel as if I have moved on in a lot of areas. I am single and I live alone. My time is mine (what the cats and dog don't demand).
I see similar patterns with others who have split with or detached successfully from their A's.. they come here and post like crazy and then less and less.. often moving on to different relationships and different lives.
.
I was feeling tempted to start seeing him again. I posted about it here and everyone straightened me out. If it wasn't for this forum, I would probably still be going through drama with him. Thanks to everyone here, I had the strength to stop answering the phone!!
Then when I would respond to other people's posts who were in a situation like mine, it just helped strengthen my resolve. Trying to help others the way they had helped me.
Since he is still calling, I feel if i maintain some kind of link to inspiration that keeps me from answering, that is what I need now. I'm still learning a lot from reading on here. I want to make sure I don't repeat the same mistakes in my next relationship.
Bridge CLOSED
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
All your responses have given me wonderful insight into myself!
I know a person working recovery who is not quite as over the top as the person Blue Pansy speaks of, but is close. I started here (again) last fall after a long absenceand a better understanding of recovery. I suddenly UNDERSTOOD this person I speak of.. but he is at 26 years, and his wife is close to the same #.. and the Program and the Rooms keep them sober... and do so at the expense of other parts of their lives (including career and their kids).
That being said, I also recognize that the other parts of their lives would not even EXIST if they were still actively drinking and doing drugs.
I know a person working recovery who is not quite as over the top as the person Blue Pansy speaks of, but is close. I started here (again) last fall after a long absenceand a better understanding of recovery. I suddenly UNDERSTOOD this person I speak of.. but he is at 26 years, and his wife is close to the same #.. and the Program and the Rooms keep them sober... and do so at the expense of other parts of their lives (including career and their kids).
That being said, I also recognize that the other parts of their lives would not even EXIST if they were still actively drinking and doing drugs.
Living in the light
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
I attended meetings for several years, worked with a wonderful sponsor and sponsored others. I have internalized the program as I live it each day and apply the
tools to every aspect of life. I have healed from ACA childhood and my son's addiction.
I know an AA who runs to meetings ( 20 years sober ) whenever the least thing arises. To me that is excessive.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps(1 through 11)
we tried to carry the message to others and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.
It takes time and effort to internalize the program and work it for life.
My life is in balance and I have many interests....I feel fortunate and YES happy.
tools to every aspect of life. I have healed from ACA childhood and my son's addiction.
I know an AA who runs to meetings ( 20 years sober ) whenever the least thing arises. To me that is excessive.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps(1 through 11)
we tried to carry the message to others and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.
It takes time and effort to internalize the program and work it for life.
My life is in balance and I have many interests....I feel fortunate and YES happy.
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by raerae6
If it wasn't for this forum, I would probably still be going through drama with him. Thanks to everyone here, I had the strength to stop answering the phone............
........Then when I would respond to other people's posts who were in a situation like mine, it just helped strengthen my resolve.
........Then when I would respond to other people's posts who were in a situation like mine, it just helped strengthen my resolve.
I go through seasons of not coming here much, then just coming and reading, and then posting quite a bit. It keeps me strong when I read others on here going through the same things I did and feeling the same mix of emotion. It reminds me that I did the right thing; that I don't ever want to go back there again.
Then again, I don't do meetings. I read A LOT; I have a couple of close friends that I talk to about it, and I am pretty involved in church. SR is my meeting. LOL!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I missed this thread until now, but have to agree with Best that it's all about balance to me.
I came here because I was an emotional, exhausted, sick codependent living in fear every moment of every day. I went to meetings for the same thing. I needed the support, guidance and wisdom of those who went before me. I honestly don't know how I would have survived without it.
Today my life is filled with beauty, inner peace, new dreams and wonderful adventures. I would never have believed that life could be this good for someone as sick as I was.
I feel compelled to share that, just as I shared my pain. I feel an obligation to be a living example to those who follow, simply passing on the wisdom that was given to me, it's part of my gratitude and it keeps me spiritually balanced.
That said, I also have a life today that includes those who have never needed or known "recovery". I no longer feel I need to "explain" who I am or where I have been. When I feel safe doing so, I may talk about it, but mostly I save that for my friends here and in recovery who better understand.
I think that some who come here arrive because of a crisis in their life that they are having great difficulty coping with. The come, they learn and sometimes they move on when the crisis has subsided. They may or may not be codependant or as sick as I am and as others may be. This place has plenty of room for them and for others who are just trying to understand and find their way.
Others, like me, have deeply rooted issues and need to work and live this program every day. Complacency can take me back to the darkness faster than even a new crisis. So I come here, I share, I get help and give it and recovery will always be part of my life even if it is no longer "all" of my life. I love that my program has allowed me to grow and continue to grow each day. I enjoy coming here and being among friends that I have never met but who know me better than even my own family sometimes.
As Best said, it's about balance. When I find myself overwhelmed here or feeling stale, I sometimes take a break and just refresh myself and my spirit and find when I return that I have a better perspective and have regained my balance.
I think it is good to return to the "real world" and expand our horizons. For me, that doesn't mean I have to stop my recovery, it just means that I use it differently and probably as intended, to live a healthy, balanced life filled with inner peace and tools that help me make it through whatever life hands me.
There are no rules in recovery, it's really just one codie sharing with another and learning a better way to live. What we do with those gifts is entirely up to us and up to what is "right" for each one of us.
From where I sit, recovery is like education, it's the means to a better end rather than the end itself. It's the journey rather than the destination. It's about no longer being a victim, but becoming a survivor. And for all of that I am grateful.
Hugs
I came here because I was an emotional, exhausted, sick codependent living in fear every moment of every day. I went to meetings for the same thing. I needed the support, guidance and wisdom of those who went before me. I honestly don't know how I would have survived without it.
Today my life is filled with beauty, inner peace, new dreams and wonderful adventures. I would never have believed that life could be this good for someone as sick as I was.
I feel compelled to share that, just as I shared my pain. I feel an obligation to be a living example to those who follow, simply passing on the wisdom that was given to me, it's part of my gratitude and it keeps me spiritually balanced.
That said, I also have a life today that includes those who have never needed or known "recovery". I no longer feel I need to "explain" who I am or where I have been. When I feel safe doing so, I may talk about it, but mostly I save that for my friends here and in recovery who better understand.
I think that some who come here arrive because of a crisis in their life that they are having great difficulty coping with. The come, they learn and sometimes they move on when the crisis has subsided. They may or may not be codependant or as sick as I am and as others may be. This place has plenty of room for them and for others who are just trying to understand and find their way.
Others, like me, have deeply rooted issues and need to work and live this program every day. Complacency can take me back to the darkness faster than even a new crisis. So I come here, I share, I get help and give it and recovery will always be part of my life even if it is no longer "all" of my life. I love that my program has allowed me to grow and continue to grow each day. I enjoy coming here and being among friends that I have never met but who know me better than even my own family sometimes.
As Best said, it's about balance. When I find myself overwhelmed here or feeling stale, I sometimes take a break and just refresh myself and my spirit and find when I return that I have a better perspective and have regained my balance.
I think it is good to return to the "real world" and expand our horizons. For me, that doesn't mean I have to stop my recovery, it just means that I use it differently and probably as intended, to live a healthy, balanced life filled with inner peace and tools that help me make it through whatever life hands me.
There are no rules in recovery, it's really just one codie sharing with another and learning a better way to live. What we do with those gifts is entirely up to us and up to what is "right" for each one of us.
From where I sit, recovery is like education, it's the means to a better end rather than the end itself. It's the journey rather than the destination. It's about no longer being a victim, but becoming a survivor. And for all of that I am grateful.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: my hearts in NY i'm in FL
Posts: 112
For me it might be a little different. When my A was actively using i was here posting and wnating an answer. but as i grow stronger in my recovery i post less but read so much more.
my recovery and posting has gone this way so far.
1. i read here
2. then i posted here
3. waited for responses here
4. when i couldn't wait any longer for a reply i'd start reading again looking for someone in a similar place.
5. i looked up meetings
6. i didn't go to a meeting for the first six months of posting
7. finally picked up the phone and called for directions to meetings
8. i went to a meeting weekly
9. i thought i had this recovery thing down pat
10 oooops i was wrong!!!!!
11. posted and posted some more
12. got a sponsor
13. went to two meetings a week
14. started working the steps
15. started believing in the steps were the way for me to find my answers to my questions about me.
16. i'm still here reading and posting. i'm still working the steps. i'm still calling my sponsor weekly.
17. my life is getting so much better the more i work on myself
so i guess i'm working more on my recovery now when things are going great with my RA (clean since oct) however i have many tools now in my tool box and for my recovery.
i think i will being going to meeting for a long time because they have helped me in other areas of my life.
my recovery and posting has gone this way so far.
1. i read here
2. then i posted here
3. waited for responses here
4. when i couldn't wait any longer for a reply i'd start reading again looking for someone in a similar place.
5. i looked up meetings
6. i didn't go to a meeting for the first six months of posting
7. finally picked up the phone and called for directions to meetings
8. i went to a meeting weekly
9. i thought i had this recovery thing down pat
10 oooops i was wrong!!!!!
11. posted and posted some more
12. got a sponsor
13. went to two meetings a week
14. started working the steps
15. started believing in the steps were the way for me to find my answers to my questions about me.
16. i'm still here reading and posting. i'm still working the steps. i'm still calling my sponsor weekly.
17. my life is getting so much better the more i work on myself
so i guess i'm working more on my recovery now when things are going great with my RA (clean since oct) however i have many tools now in my tool box and for my recovery.
i think i will being going to meeting for a long time because they have helped me in other areas of my life.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
