dixied

well,


I went with my family to the beach for Mother's Day. I told my RAS where we would be. We came here because my dad is 92 and my mom is 82 and we have just built a retirement home and wanted them to see it. RAS knows my cell phone #.....4:00 and no call to say Happy Mother's Day or acknowledge anything at all.So basically I have not been acknowledged with a call or anything whatsoever. Upon leaving on Thursday he said he and wife"had" something for me but hadn't gotten a card yet so they would wait. THey KNEW we were planning this trip. My point is twofold........

!. Even if he is in recovery I STILL think he is self-centered and I RESENT it.
2. HE and wife are planning a WEEK LONG VACATION and he doesn't even have a job yet. I don't care about the vacation part but he is in early recovery and he is supposed to do 90 meetings in 90 days and where he is going there are no meetings available. Just makes me leery of his vested interest in recovery. Thanks for just letting me have a Mother's Day vent.......dixie (P. S. I KNOW THIS IS PETTY BUT IS A PHONE CALL TOO MUCH TO HOPE FOR?)

marle

I think a phone call would be nice, but unfortunately it is not always what happens. I bought my daughter a 300 minute phone card back in March in case she needed anything. For my birthday she text messaged me. For Mother's Day she text messaged me a message last Sunday. So I guess a phone call is too much for her. I have to say, though, that when I was younger and busy with my own problems I forgot a couple of times to call my Mom. I think as we get older it becomes more important to us. You may have to sit down with your son and tell him what you expect. Like phone calls on those special days. I don't think that is too much to ask for. If he expects the same courtesy from you then he needs to return it. I am happy that you got to see your parents on Mother's Day. Have a Happy rest of the day. As far as his recovery, Hands off the Addict. He will do what he will do and you can't change that by worrying. Hugs, Marle

Done_With_It

I agree with Marle when you are ready I hope you sit him down and at least tell him that you were hurt by his actions.

That is how I learned.... people thought my parents were a bit hard on me, with my manners and saying please thank you, sorry, happy birthday, etc. but that is how I learned. They were always reminding me to acknowledge those things.
My mom still reminds me to call my grandma, lol, even thought I do every year on my own..

and no a phone call isn't too much to ask for. ;-) I'm sorry your day didn't turn out better.

dixied

thank you both for the reply......guess I get wrapped up in thinking about what I'd like.....the way I perceive it should be..........dh says expect nothing (in regards to RAS) and if he does reemember it will be like a nice surprise.....anyway thanks for listening..........dixie

hope213

i am sorry he did not call.don't let him & his recovery get you down.i understand the hurt & i would talk to him & let him know when the time is right to do it.hugs,hope

Wascally Wabbit

Hi Dixied,
I didn't receive a call all day long. I went to georgia, about 2 hrs away, spent the day with aunts and couzins. Got home at 7 to find my son had been on my back porch since noon. blistered from the sun. Waiting for me to take him in.
It seems that nothing I do matters.
I am taking serious the bridges of hope. I will be calling them tomorrow.
Thank you for that info dix.

Sunflower

((((hugs)))))

dixied

thank you wabbit and sunflower. I appreciate your kindness. It meant so much. Wabbit, please just make the phone call about Bridges and investigate. He has to be willing to go.......no one forcing him, you know....? Anyway, the results for my RAS was that it was structured and they didn't accept excuses from anyone or anybody. THAT MADE A LOT OF DIFFERENCE...The way the 12 step program was run......dixie

marteen

I have learned not to wait anymore; if it comes, it comes; if not, then I didn't waste a lot of time waiting!

Keep focused on you and the good things in your life that make you smile. He can concentrate on HIM and someday maybe he will realize what is truly important. In the meantime, don't waste time waiting - get busy DOING!

I know it's tough but we can't change what they do or don't do!