Sunflower

I have Fibromyalgia and Lupus ans Sjogrens--I know what pain is believe me.I live it 24/7. I have lost everything to it because I was/am unable to work.And in the middle of all this--it came on when I was 43--my son becomes a raging alcoholic--after kicking the crack habit a few years earlier!
I didn't sign on to be married to an A
or to divorce
to be a single parent
to have a son who is an addict
to have chronic illness at 43...

Things happen in life we have no control over. We have to deal with them-why? we have no choice.Tommorrow is still gonna happen. You wake up to the same problems-even worse sometimes.

I sufferred from pain for 5 years-almost bedridden walking on crutches-I thought seriously about ending my life the physical pain was so bad.
For five years I took any kind of medicine(non narcotic) and treatment known to man kind!!
Finally I made the choice to go on Morphine with a new Doctor--I know I am addicted--but I can walk without crutches-and do small tasks. I can bathe myself-make a meal etc...
I had to make a choice of the quality of my life which is greatly improved-worth living again.
You need to find a good pain clinic--I had to go to 3 before I found one who understood my illness.
They make it impossible to abuse.
Every 30 days you go in--they pee test you (to make sure you are taking it and not selling it out in the street) plus at any time they can call you to come in and count your bottle of mdication to see if you are taking more than you should.It is a well monitored program/the option to abuse this medication is impossible for me.
You need to go to the Docs with him...and you need to be honest and find one who deals with patients who are abuser (they have heard and seen it all)As hard as this all seems to you the end result will be better for you both.
You have to consider--if you were the one in his spot--you would want him to be able to handle it right?
You are a very honest woman-You are stronger than you know...

WENDYLOST101

Okay, a little update. Hubby went to the doc Monday. Its a woman doctor. She gave him something called Durabac. I looked it up. It seems to be okay. Well, he called her back today or she called him back. She agreed that she would help him with his back and do everything she could to avoid surgery. She started him on physical therapy. Well, he goes first time on Monday. He supposedly told her he did not want to use narcotics. She told him there are a hundred different medicines out there that she could try on him that are not narcotics. So, you know I am hearing all of this from my addicts mouth so it is hard to tell what exactly is true and whats not, but for now I choose to believe him and hope that this works. Hopefully he will take this seriously and not abuse someone who is trying to help him. Maybe things are going to be okay. Maybe I am going to be okay, as selfish as that sounds. At least its a ray of hope. Thank you guys for always being here for me.

Jwife22

Its not selfish wanting to be happy and have a "normal" marriage. I hope he's telling the truth too. I hope he has decided he doesn't want to be hooked on pain pills for the rest of his life and that he can function with out them.

(((((((Wendy))))))) I'll keep praying for him and for you honey!

Sunflower

No you are not selfish at all---sounds more like fear to me.
It is so hard to trust them.Detachment--sounds good--but not easy to do.
He is right there are hundreds of non narcotic meds out there to try--new ones all the time--I think I tried about all of them LOL---I hope he is taking this seriously-Physical Therapy will be good for him....only time will tell...I hope for your sake all goes well.......