HKAngel24

Just struggling today.
Worrying about things about my bf that I cannot control.
Posting it, I think, will make me feel better about it.

I cannot control his recovery. Only he can do this.
Focusing on this is futile and only gives away my power.
I must remind myself of the reality of the situation and not be carried off by some fantasy of how I "wish" things could be.
He is an addict.
I suppose it's the "investment" in the relationship that keeps me attached and "hopeful."

I must not let myself get too comfortable when things seem to be going well.
Really trying to keep myself grounded in reality today, keep the focus on me and take the focus off of him and his addictions.

parentrecovers

thanks for sharing, hkangel. i hope you can have a wonderful day in your recovery. blessings, k

GiveLove

Hang in there, HK.

Let him take care of himself. Find one small thing you can do differently today that will make you proud of yourself.

Love,
GL

Jwife22

I find it helpful to post when I get those feelings too. Allowing our expectations to get too high allows for disappointment and resentments when something bad happens. Its good to keep a check on those things! (BigSis drilled that one into my head. I didn't "get it" when I first heard it but man oh man, once I got it and started to believe it, it made a huge difference in my life)

(((HKAngel)))) Hoping your day goes well and you can take your mind off of your addict for a while.

HKAngel24

Thanks all.
Things just feel difficult today.
I know it is because my bf has been staying with me, but returned to his apartment last night and the control issue is bubbling up.
I keep wanting to call him and express my fears so he can squelch them, but I then must ask myself- Heather what is that going to do for you?
Absolutely nothing.
I know I'm spinning my wheels by worrying. Trying to redirect some of that energy inward.

teke

i have to do a lot of self talk too at times, i think you're doing good, youre doing what you have to do to keep your thoughts in line, good for you. i'll keep you in my prayers, i pray for strength for you.