obsessed

This has been a strange week for me and my ad. She informed me she wants to move out and I said ok, but you have no job, no car or money. I thought it was settled. I called her this morning and she was at a fast food place getting breakfast and I asked what she was doing and she said that she was going to visit a friend in Houston, Texas...which is 12 hours from where we live. I had told her ear;ier in the week that she until today to decide if she wanted to live at home or somewhere else and I told her that I was going to pack her things, which I did and take them to her friends house and I did but it was so hard, I also told her that she is not welcome at my home anymore. I would call now and have her cell phone cut off but with her being there I have no other way to get in touch with her. I never thought I could or would pack her things but I really felt like I had no choice. Was that the right thing to do??

marle

If it feels right to you, then it is the right thing to do. For me I can't have my daughter living under the same roof and using. It creates too much chaos in my life. If that is the way you are feeling then you have the right to set a boundary of no using in your house or leave. Your daughter has the choice to get help or move. As far as the cell phone do what you think you can live with. If you need to keep paying for it so that you can reach her then do it. You can always change your mind if she abuses that privilege. Hugs, Marle

GwenMarie30

Marle said just what I was going to say. Its a step at a time and what you feel comfortable with. Something I see from your post here is that you just made a huge step forward in your recovery by doing what was best for you.

Ann

Obsessed, it is never easy but it is still right. Having a front row seat to the drama of their addiction is just the worst seat in the house.

She may or may not go to Texas. My son was always going somewhere, but never made it out of town unless it was to rehab.

What helps me is to just say a prayer and give her care to God. Sometimes I do this many times a day, but it always reminds me that my son is in His hands.

Hugs

Louise54

Ditto to all of the posts above. Hugs.

BigSis

Yep. We had our AD leave (and our AS, a bit earlier). In both cases, I kept the cell phone on... and for the same reasons as you (and I probably would again). However... when she was using, she turned it off, and she sold it/rented it out to dealers....forwarned is forearmed.

(((hugs)))

parentrecovers

prayers to you and your daughter, obsessed. k

Sunflower

Only you know whats right for you in your situation--but it sounds like you did the right thing here...maybe she is using you and that will only hurt you more--I am all for helping our children even when thry are adults but she has crossed that line it seems where you have no ther choice...stay strong....

teke

i agree with the others, i think you are doing what you need to do to make life a little easier for you. i pray that she finds her way soon, and i'm praying that god gives you the strength that you need, while you wait.

hope213

you did the right thing. you have to set boundries. i know this was hard.you are doing good. take care of you & let us know how u r. hugs,hope

greeteachday

HUgs...I know it is so hard, but doing what you need to do for you is what is right. As others have said, it is not healthy for you or your daughter if you stay in the front row watching this play out.

I understand what you are saying about the cell phone. There is no right or wrong; only what works for you. I know if I were in your shoes, I too would want some way to reach my child if I could. Hugs and prayers for both of you.