Family ties
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Family ties
After all Ive been through this weekend I jsut got off the phone with my father. Addiction and dysfunction run deep.
Its still amazing he called, he wants to get together with the kids and show them his new toy.
For years noone called at all, noone knew my life, noone had the time.
When I first started counseling last April my feelings hurt and anger towards my family came out. My counselor encouraged me to bridge that gap, learn from it, heal the inner child, but also tell them how I felt. In time I did just that.
My grandfather started stopping by 5 minutes here and there with little trinkets for the boys, he even learned their names. He maade comments about my choice of men, but added "No matter what through it all, you keep going" That was the best compliment that man has ever given anyone. A few months later he approached me with this house idea to upgrade our lives, for the kidswhich is just awesome, and last week I came home to find a beautiful park bench sitting on my front porch (HIs way of saying Im thinking of you.)
My father is disabled spinal stenosis among other things. He's a prescription addict and has been labled terminal due to the doses of Oxy he takes. Prior to this he smoked weed and took anti depressants daily since 14. My grandfather has stopped talking to him do to the typical constant needing things and feeling owed something. I listened to him talk about not being able to reach him and the pain, he talked of my step mom as well as my little sister coming in drunk everynight. For the first time he added its crazy here Im so glad I have my meds to dull all the pain." All I could think of was"peace, when I get off the phone" These calls used to leave me feeling so drained and wanting to fix it all. Today I know Im growing, my inner child is no longer crying out, the voids I had for so many years are getting smaller. Recovery is beginning to take hold. Theres is still such a long way for me to go, yet deep down I know Ive come far.
Im not sure why Im sharing this, II just needed to write it down and get it out, part of letting it go
Its still amazing he called, he wants to get together with the kids and show them his new toy.
For years noone called at all, noone knew my life, noone had the time.
When I first started counseling last April my feelings hurt and anger towards my family came out. My counselor encouraged me to bridge that gap, learn from it, heal the inner child, but also tell them how I felt. In time I did just that.
My grandfather started stopping by 5 minutes here and there with little trinkets for the boys, he even learned their names. He maade comments about my choice of men, but added "No matter what through it all, you keep going" That was the best compliment that man has ever given anyone. A few months later he approached me with this house idea to upgrade our lives, for the kidswhich is just awesome, and last week I came home to find a beautiful park bench sitting on my front porch (HIs way of saying Im thinking of you.)
My father is disabled spinal stenosis among other things. He's a prescription addict and has been labled terminal due to the doses of Oxy he takes. Prior to this he smoked weed and took anti depressants daily since 14. My grandfather has stopped talking to him do to the typical constant needing things and feeling owed something. I listened to him talk about not being able to reach him and the pain, he talked of my step mom as well as my little sister coming in drunk everynight. For the first time he added its crazy here Im so glad I have my meds to dull all the pain." All I could think of was"peace, when I get off the phone" These calls used to leave me feeling so drained and wanting to fix it all. Today I know Im growing, my inner child is no longer crying out, the voids I had for so many years are getting smaller. Recovery is beginning to take hold. Theres is still such a long way for me to go, yet deep down I know Ive come far.
Im not sure why Im sharing this, II just needed to write it down and get it out, part of letting it go
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Cinderella,
Thank your for sharing that with us- you shared it 'cause that's what we do with friends! I'm glad to hear how you are working through all that 'stuff' from your childhood and I'm betting that the good things that come from all the inner work will continue to amaze you!
That's so sweet of your grandfather to drop off a surprise gift- more special is how he has warmed to you and your boys. I hope you will have lots of chances to sit on that bench with him and your boys.
I'm glad you shared this also because it proves to me that things do improve and change- that brings me hope when I feel stuck or defeated.
big hugs!
cmc
Thank your for sharing that with us- you shared it 'cause that's what we do with friends! I'm glad to hear how you are working through all that 'stuff' from your childhood and I'm betting that the good things that come from all the inner work will continue to amaze you!
That's so sweet of your grandfather to drop off a surprise gift- more special is how he has warmed to you and your boys. I hope you will have lots of chances to sit on that bench with him and your boys.
I'm glad you shared this also because it proves to me that things do improve and change- that brings me hope when I feel stuck or defeated.
big hugs!
cmc
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Thanks for sharing this Cinder...Recovery helps us in all aspects of our lives.
I smiled at the gift from your grandfather...My fil is similar...gruff but has ways to let you know you are loved. Hugs
I smiled at the gift from your grandfather...My fil is similar...gruff but has ways to let you know you are loved. Hugs
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Recovery sparkles... little lights, with spaces in between, and sometimes, the sparks get very close together and begin to form a glow.
Every Cinderella should glow as sweet as you. (((hugs)))
Every Cinderella should glow as sweet as you. (((hugs)))
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