sunshine003

Might be a stupid question but one I have nonetheless. I've often wondered how it helps keep one sober?

I realize the person has to want to get sober and stay sober but I'm confused as to how it helps, etc.

doorknob

I find group support to be helpful, whether it's AA, LifeRing, or SR. It helps reinforce and strengthen my own desire to stay sober.

Jazzman

The "fellowship" aspect and the focus on recovery and not just sobriety alone.

Has Al Anon, therapy and or SR hepled you with your efforts? (I'm guessing yes). Same thing.

sunshine003

Good point jazz. SR has helped me as well as individual counselling. But, I didn't exactly have something as powerful as addiction.

MsPINKAcres

I may not have had an addiction to an substance such as alcohol or drugs - but my addiction to the alcoholic/addict people, attemps at controlling their behaviors, and all types of unhealthy actions completely ruled my life.

My life was completely unmanagable and will return to that state without the support of my recovery programs (Al-Anon, my sponsor, my Al-Anon friends and SR)

That is the way recovery works for me and I think that is the way it works for other people in other programs. My understanding is that it's about learning to accept life and live life with the help of your HP on life terms.

Just my E, S, & H,
Rita

denny57

My doctor told me that sometimes co-dependents end up sicker than the addict. I believe it was the truth in my case. It was also typical of me to minimize what I was going through.

I agree it's the fellowship and support that aids recovery. No one keeps me "sober" except myself.

pmaslan

Ah Jazz that is exactly what I was going to say...
As you know Sunshine the desire has to be the main focus.
Don't fool yourself, our addiction to codependency is
as powerful as any other addiction. IMHO

elizabeth1979

Sorry Sunshine but this is really not the case alot of the time...

sunshine003

I know it is you guys, I truly understand that I had become just as sick as he is. I slip now and again, still using that unhealthy way of thinking.

However, I believe our addiction (if you will) is mental.....theirs is physical. So I was confused as to how AA helps.

I don't know, I was just curious. I don't see my ah ever going to AA, was just wanting to educate myself a little more on exactly how it helps. I suppose it is the support of those who understand you, just like here.


Do alcoholics commonly believe they are beyond help as my ah does?

I never felt I was beyond help. Deep down, I always knew the way to help myself was to get out first. It was just so darn painful to face that fact.

laurie6781

Sunshine I can only speak for myself.

AA taught me how to Live Sober. I had stopped drinking when I went to AA. I was only dry, but I immediately felt the warmth in the rooms. I just knew I had found a 'safe' place, with people like me trying to live without alcohol.

I saw people from all walks of life, Doctors, Lawyers, Policemen, Firemen, CEO's , bums, Movie Producters, Movies Directors, Actors and Actresses, so that started to change my 'mental image' of an alcoholic.

Then slowly I started to 'hear' what they were saying. How they were getting through everyday 'life problems' and I heard some talk of 'steps' and 'sponsor'.

Slowly I got into 'the program'.......but those first months the meetings and the 'fellowship' were what helped me the most. I always felt 'safe' when I was in the process of getting ready to go to a meeting, early mind you, to help set up, and through the whole meeting, and to the meetings after the meetings in coffee shops. That 'safeness' would stay with me even after I got back home.

To this day, many ODAATS from those first days, I do not believe I would have been able to achieve and maintain sobriety without the 'help of others.' AA has lots and lots of 'others.'

At 3 years sober when I also started attending Al anon, I again found people going through the same things I was......and again had found a 'safe' place.

And yes, I did believe I was beyond help, thus when I found AA and people who had been through the h*ll I had gone through in addition to feeling safe I also felt lots and lots of HOPE.

However, it must always be remembered that AA, Alanon and any other recovery program can only help those that are willing to help themselves.

J M H O

Love and (((((to all))))),

pmaslan

I don't know I have seen some codies hospitalized just as alcoholics
can be. I think it all starts out mental and as it progresses it
can become physical...just my take on it

ICU

Sunshine,

Have you ever been to an open AA meeting? If not, why don't you give it a try? You might get some answers from listening to their stories. I've been to quite a few with my ex and it was an eye opener. I learned a lot from it, especially the part that it was NOT my fault that he drank. Of the meetings I have gone to, they are pretty stern with each other, don't take no crap or excuses, but, in a loving/supportive way.

I would suggest a Beginners Mtg., a Discussion Mtg. (kind of like an open forum where each person speaks about their week), and a Speaker mtg. (where someone shares where they once were, where they are now, and how they got here).

Just make sure they are open (for anyone to attend) meetings. If you see a "C" next to the date/time, it means it's closed and only for the alcoholic. You don't want to go to those, well, you shouldn't go to those.

MsPINKAcres

I agree with ICU - those open AA meetings are awesome in helping me understand this disease and how the alcoholics think.

Give it a try - your anonymity will be protected just like in Al-Anon.

Good luck,
Rita

BigSis

And if you are unwilling to attend an open AA meeting, you can order AA (and Alanon) speaker tapes right here at SR... or just google "AA speaker tapes".

Step 1 - Admitted I was powerless over alcohol.

I didn't understand how BIG a thing that was... it didn't matter if I order my rum with 2 glasses of water and a refillable coffee, or whether I switched to whiskey (which I despise), or "only" drank beer.... I still could not imbibe less than 4 drinks per hour. I could NOT control my drinking. I had no power over it.

... and that my life had become unmanageable.

I don't know any alcoholic who got to AA while their lives were managable.

That first step is the only one that mentions alcohol. And it is the place where I admit I am not like other people... I cannot drink "socially".... I have never been able to have "just two or three" .

All the others are how to live sober.... how to do so many things that the rest of the world already seems to know how to do. QUITTING was easy - I did it hundreds of times. STAYING sober is what the rest of the program is about.

By learning what are the triggers that get me spinning.... for me, alcohol solved MY problem of feeling "less than" - especially with men. I needed another solution ... one of feeling truly "part of", despite my failings and shortcomings.

Try some of those open meetings and/or speaker tapes. I find them incredible inspiring.

Minx1969

I agree with the open AA meetings...

If Minnie hasn't posted it first here's the link to a great speaker website:

www.xa-speakers.org

Pick-a-name

http://www.elmoware.com/ is a great site,too.

minnie

sunshine - the way I see it is that AA provides self-examination coupled with support. Just like Al-anon. Or SR. Or counselling. Or SMART. Or numerous other methods.

All different ways to skin the same cat (sorry, Christie).

Pick-a-name

So do I !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes when I am all caught in my own head, I'll listen to one on the computer (and play freecell or bedazzled..haha) and it takes me away from fretting. Helps me "shift-gears".