sadface

And lots to think about. I feel I am not ready to commit to something and at the same time I felt I should go to the next phase. But it sounds like I am not ready....and yes, I do have to think about the other person...something I did not think about. I have thought about divorce and to be honest the reason I haven't pursued it is this. During our separation, we agreed we were working towards getting back together.. plus as long as he helped me with child support and the house payment I would keep him on my medical/dental insurance. I pay for his life insurance through work something my AH and I agreed on. It isn't very much. I have 4.5 times more life insurance on me...but that goes to my boys. I guess in the back of my head I have a little hope someday AH will hit bottom and seek help. He will have medical insurance...or if worse comes to worse....(awful to say) enough funds for a nice funeral, if needed. Maybe the codie in me is still trying to take care of him...because I do care. Things were going fine for a little while and then towards the end of February that I found out he was still seeing the OW. It hurt, so I cut off all communication and distant myself from him. He seems fine with that arrangement. My son came home from spending the weekend with his dad and said something that made me wonder. My 14 yr old son said he doesn't like the friends his dad is hanging around with.. he doesn't trust them. Huh? That makes me wonder if it is the OW or he is back with addictions..or both. I have decided to continue with my group of friends and take care of me first. WHen I am ready, it will come for me to meet someone else.

megamysterioso

Based on your post sadface, I think that it is smart of you to wait a while. It really does seem that there is much unfinished business to be taken care of within yourself and between the two of you. I wish you all the best and continue putting yourself and your children first. All the things he is or isn't doing are his own choices.

Janitw

Sadface - I know the hurt well when you AH is involved with OW. Mine has been living with one for almost a year now and it hurts alot. My kids are old enough that they went NC with him and it has helped them alot. I will send prayers and hugs your way....stay strong.

Janet

maggie1958

Sadface, I know what you are going through is rough, most of us have been there in one way or another and it sucks to be honest. You will know when the time is right for you to move on with you life, and I hope and pray you can do that soon. Yes you do have to think about the other person too, not only because of them but because of you too. I know it's hard to let things go, sounds like you have worked very hard to try to heal things, just remember you have done everything you can do and now it's up to him. As for your kids, they will figure things out for themselves, just remember to give them your love and support regardless of how they feel about their dad and even the OW. Take care of yourself and give yourself some time to sort things out, new relationships can be a whole new set of stress if you're not ready for it. I wish you all the happiness, and pray you will get just that soon. Hang in there...you've made it this far you can handle the rest of it!