I feel so sad for him . . .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 14
I feel so sad for him . . .
My dad is an alcoholic. He's always been that way, since I was born (more than 29years). He's one of these closet alcoholics. He goes about his daily activities and then goes home and drowns himself. Despite this he still manages to get up the next day and pretend he's ok. The older he is getting the harder that facade is at staying up and he is ratty and often sick.
He goes through some typical cycles of bad alcoholic behaviour toward me but it's all distant and I can easily separate from it. I don't need him in my daily life so I am not affected as much by it. He lives alone and often just uses me to take things out on or to rely on me. We bought a house that he rents from us and he likes me to organise his things or at least take the blame for them!!! Typical stuff really.
Anyway, lately his cycle is getting more intense and shorter. He's in a bad part now and always ratty. But what makes me really sad is that he's started vomiting violently in the mornings. I know his body is going to eventually give way to this abuse but it's so sad to see it in action. My brother is with him this weekend and just told me that he's switched from beer to vodka!!! Now my father has been an exclusive beer drinker for more than 30years. Other than a wine with dinner or liqueurs with friends he sticks to his one brand of beer. He's changed brands once in my life and that's it.
It worries me that he's stepped up to vodka. Why would he do that? I don't know the mechanics of later alcoholic abuse and it's affects on health to understand the progression. He has the standard MASSIVE beer gut, red pocked ruddy face, particularly nose and eyes. I worry about his heart and his liver and have been amazed he had gotten to 50 with his health in relative order. He is getting sick more often this last year, and even taken days off work which has NEVER happened in my entire life. He's otherwise well - that i know of.
It all makes me sad. I know our parents will eventually age and die but it seems that something is happening now and I'm not sure what. I know that he will eventually cause harm to his body I just don't know what exactly.
At least with my mother I am expecting an overdose to do her in...but for dad, I thought he'd stand the test of time and just be a dithering old drunk in his old age.
He goes through some typical cycles of bad alcoholic behaviour toward me but it's all distant and I can easily separate from it. I don't need him in my daily life so I am not affected as much by it. He lives alone and often just uses me to take things out on or to rely on me. We bought a house that he rents from us and he likes me to organise his things or at least take the blame for them!!! Typical stuff really.
Anyway, lately his cycle is getting more intense and shorter. He's in a bad part now and always ratty. But what makes me really sad is that he's started vomiting violently in the mornings. I know his body is going to eventually give way to this abuse but it's so sad to see it in action. My brother is with him this weekend and just told me that he's switched from beer to vodka!!! Now my father has been an exclusive beer drinker for more than 30years. Other than a wine with dinner or liqueurs with friends he sticks to his one brand of beer. He's changed brands once in my life and that's it.
It worries me that he's stepped up to vodka. Why would he do that? I don't know the mechanics of later alcoholic abuse and it's affects on health to understand the progression. He has the standard MASSIVE beer gut, red pocked ruddy face, particularly nose and eyes. I worry about his heart and his liver and have been amazed he had gotten to 50 with his health in relative order. He is getting sick more often this last year, and even taken days off work which has NEVER happened in my entire life. He's otherwise well - that i know of.
It all makes me sad. I know our parents will eventually age and die but it seems that something is happening now and I'm not sure what. I know that he will eventually cause harm to his body I just don't know what exactly.
At least with my mother I am expecting an overdose to do her in...but for dad, I thought he'd stand the test of time and just be a dithering old drunk in his old age.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 318
hi quandry,
i don't have much great advice as i am struggeling with some of the same issues with my dad and often turn to the people here for help. just wanted to say hi and that you will find this to be a great place!
i don't have much great advice as i am struggeling with some of the same issues with my dad and often turn to the people here for help. just wanted to say hi and that you will find this to be a great place!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 14
Thank you Jessica. I'm always so overwhelmed by the support here. Thanks for your message and I hope that we both find some of the peace and answers we are looking for.
Deb
Deb
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
(((Quandry)))- I'm sorry for your pain and I'm sorry that your Dad is quickly getting worse. IMO- I think he's switched to vodka b/c it gets him where he needs to be (drunk) faster than the beer. My FIL did the same thing and drinking vodka excessively on a daily basis really takes its toll on one's health. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do for him. Maybe as he continues to become violently ill in the mornings, he will begin recognizing that it is time for him to make a change? My prayers are with you.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Back when I was asking the same questions as you, I did some internet research on "end-stage alcoholism," so I would be able to recognize the signs and know what laid in my boyfriend's future if he continued to drink.
My boyfriend drank for 40 years. It began to take an obvious physical toll on him starting in his mid- to late-50s. I guess the onset of end-stage alcoholism depends on the length of time spent drinking and the amont of alcohol typically consumed. By that I mean, it's different for everyone.
But there is good news. My boyfriend finally realized he was hurting himself and he got the help he needed. He's been sober for 9 months now, and his health has improved drastically.
You never know what the future holds. Maybe your father will get the help he needs, too.
My boyfriend drank for 40 years. It began to take an obvious physical toll on him starting in his mid- to late-50s. I guess the onset of end-stage alcoholism depends on the length of time spent drinking and the amont of alcohol typically consumed. By that I mean, it's different for everyone.
But there is good news. My boyfriend finally realized he was hurting himself and he got the help he needed. He's been sober for 9 months now, and his health has improved drastically.
You never know what the future holds. Maybe your father will get the help he needs, too.
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