Intervention or NOT?
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 261
Intervention or NOT?
Anyone have any experiences in doing/receiving an intervention. I know they need to be finely tuned and a lot of work. Is it worth the time and $$?
Do they work? or any other suggestions/
My AH is horrible lately and we are talking if it is worth a professional intervention. I'm getting mixed vibs on this so thought I'd go right to the source which is HERE and find some input.
I'm on mostly during the day from work.
Thanks,
Karen
Do they work? or any other suggestions/
My AH is horrible lately and we are talking if it is worth a professional intervention. I'm getting mixed vibs on this so thought I'd go right to the source which is HERE and find some input.
I'm on mostly during the day from work.
Thanks,
Karen
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 261
My husband is clueless. His parents and sister were talking about it with me last night and I put it on hold to come here and check it out...
I believe our insurance may pick up some of the expense and AH parents are willing to kick in a few $$.
Isnt an intervention a professional who comes and takes the alcholic off on the spot for long term detox.?
I left last night and came back hours later after knowing AH was sleeping. So this am he said he is quitting on his own and not bringing any more Vodka i the house NOT!
Man, I love that man when he is sober so I feel maybe to give it one shot before I can say we've done everything we can.... Now it is up to him?
I believe our insurance may pick up some of the expense and AH parents are willing to kick in a few $$.
Isnt an intervention a professional who comes and takes the alcholic off on the spot for long term detox.?
I left last night and came back hours later after knowing AH was sleeping. So this am he said he is quitting on his own and not bringing any more Vodka i the house NOT!
Man, I love that man when he is sober so I feel maybe to give it one shot before I can say we've done everything we can.... Now it is up to him?
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Wish I could find my old post on this.... *sigh, wish I typed faster*
Myself and a few key family members read an entire book on interventions before we met with a qualified person to actually facilitate it. The more education the better. There are two types, confrontational and sympathetic... i.e. check into rehab now or the marriage is over, OR check into rehab because we all love you.... pretty please? In either event lots of preparation needs to be done before hand... did I mention education?
My advice is get educated.
Don't make threats unless you are prepared to carry them out.
Do get a professional to lead it.
Don't try an intervention 1st thing, only as a last resort.
Myself and a few key family members read an entire book on interventions before we met with a qualified person to actually facilitate it. The more education the better. There are two types, confrontational and sympathetic... i.e. check into rehab now or the marriage is over, OR check into rehab because we all love you.... pretty please? In either event lots of preparation needs to be done before hand... did I mention education?
My advice is get educated.
Don't make threats unless you are prepared to carry them out.
Do get a professional to lead it.
Don't try an intervention 1st thing, only as a last resort.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
My long answer was lost in cyberspace...the short answer is yes; please consider it.
Didn't get my AH into treatment BUT it changed the dynamics within the family and has helped the kids and I. I want to think that on some level is is still "working". In fact, the guy who helped with ours said that his family had ne for him when he was 18 yrs old.....five minutes into it he got up and left and did not see ,etc his family for 3 yrs.....BUT he thought about it every single day of those 3 years. Now he does this because he feels so passionately about it.
Check out http://www.lovefirst.net great information and wonderful people. (I have talked to all three of them several times and they can help you more to decide if it is right for you.
Pick up the phone;check the website, read the books (Debra has a new one out I am just reading). Then decide. I had to try for myself..to have peace of mind.
Good luck, whatever you decide is right in your case.
Didn't get my AH into treatment BUT it changed the dynamics within the family and has helped the kids and I. I want to think that on some level is is still "working". In fact, the guy who helped with ours said that his family had ne for him when he was 18 yrs old.....five minutes into it he got up and left and did not see ,etc his family for 3 yrs.....BUT he thought about it every single day of those 3 years. Now he does this because he feels so passionately about it.
Check out http://www.lovefirst.net great information and wonderful people. (I have talked to all three of them several times and they can help you more to decide if it is right for you.
Pick up the phone;check the website, read the books (Debra has a new one out I am just reading). Then decide. I had to try for myself..to have peace of mind.
Good luck, whatever you decide is right in your case.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 261
This All Seem So Exausting To Me.. I'm So Tired And Dont Have The Ambition To Follow Through Right Now.
Maybe A Family Member Can Spearhead This Event. Thanks For All The Info/ I'll Share This With The Rest Of The Family Xo
Maybe A Family Member Can Spearhead This Event. Thanks For All The Info/ I'll Share This With The Rest Of The Family Xo
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Karen..........I know the feeling. Maybe your family will check out that website and get and read the book "Love First" by Jeff and Debra Jay and there is the book by the man who started interventions:Vernon Johnson. I have bought them both at Borders and they are usually online,too.
Might give you more of an idea.
I will say.....it is scarey to begin, but if you decide to do it, once you call the interventionist, they handle most of the things, know the right questions, and have answers for things you never knew you needed to think about. If you do this, please talk to a professional. He also did all the teaching about adddiction and handled all the talking the day of the intervention, except for reading the letters. Kept people on better behavior,too with a "stranger" there. JMO
If and when you are ready to do this, I think you will know. If not now......perhaps in the future. Pray about it.
Might give you more of an idea.
I will say.....it is scarey to begin, but if you decide to do it, once you call the interventionist, they handle most of the things, know the right questions, and have answers for things you never knew you needed to think about. If you do this, please talk to a professional. He also did all the teaching about adddiction and handled all the talking the day of the intervention, except for reading the letters. Kept people on better behavior,too with a "stranger" there. JMO
If and when you are ready to do this, I think you will know. If not now......perhaps in the future. Pray about it.
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 689
I have a curious question to anyone who may know the answer:
I've always wondered how interventions mesh with the principle most of us take as a fundamental tenat of recovery: that it won't work unless the addict is ready and takes responsibility for their recovery.
How does intervention work when the addict has not come to the decision themselves -- and has it been shown to be effective long-term ?
thanks
gf
I've always wondered how interventions mesh with the principle most of us take as a fundamental tenat of recovery: that it won't work unless the addict is ready and takes responsibility for their recovery.
How does intervention work when the addict has not come to the decision themselves -- and has it been shown to be effective long-term ?
thanks
gf
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Actually.........the percentage is very high, I believe. I want to say 75% plus, but I could be wrong about that.
The people who go into treatment (and it does not necessarily mean inpatient) do so because they choose to: either they are glad for the offer and plans being made and they just accept and go OR the boundaries that their loved ones present (and are serious about and they need to be prepared to keep) make treatment a better option. Usually these people do very well once they get into treatment..it is just getting them and clearing their minds enough to see the problem....or so I am told.
The people who go into treatment (and it does not necessarily mean inpatient) do so because they choose to: either they are glad for the offer and plans being made and they just accept and go OR the boundaries that their loved ones present (and are serious about and they need to be prepared to keep) make treatment a better option. Usually these people do very well once they get into treatment..it is just getting them and clearing their minds enough to see the problem....or so I am told.
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75%?!!!! Long term? Where have you been hiding that statistic, Pick?
Actually, I have read that there have been some interesting studies on Brief Interventions within a GP setting with people who have a pattern of problem drinking. In fact, I believe that is part of official UK health guidelines.
I have no experience with interventions such as you are considering, Karen, but I have to say that I have the same thoughts as GF. I guess it's best to approach with no expectations and firm boundaries.
Good luck.
Actually, I have read that there have been some interesting studies on Brief Interventions within a GP setting with people who have a pattern of problem drinking. In fact, I believe that is part of official UK health guidelines.
I have no experience with interventions such as you are considering, Karen, but I have to say that I have the same thoughts as GF. I guess it's best to approach with no expectations and firm boundaries.
Good luck.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
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Like I said.....that might be all wrong, but I do know whatever number it was, I was surprised when I heard it. I'll look around and see if I can find something. Might be way off base, but I know it is higher than I origianlly would have guessed.
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Here is something from http://www.lovefirst.net/faq.htm
"Q>:I’ve been told that treatment doesn’t work when someone is forced to accept help.
A>:It is not how someone gets into treatment, but what happens once they are in treatment. Hazelden conducted a 25 year study which shows that the success rate in treatment is the same for people ordered into treatment by the courts and those who entered treatment on their own.
William Bennett, former Drug Czar under President Bush, writes in the Washington Post: "One clear fact about drug treatment is that success in treatment is a function of time in treatment. And time in treatment is often a function of coercion -- being forced into treatment by a loved one, an employer or, as is often the case, the legal system. People who are forced to enter treatment under legal sanctions are more likely to complete treatment programs and thus more likely to get well…" Click here to read more.
In intervention, however, we do not force someone into treatment. We ask them to go. They make the final decision for themselves. We do, however, makes decisions to no longer do things that make it easy for the alcoholic to stay sick, and this often convinces reluctant alcoholics to get help."
"Q>:I’ve been told that treatment doesn’t work when someone is forced to accept help.
A>:It is not how someone gets into treatment, but what happens once they are in treatment. Hazelden conducted a 25 year study which shows that the success rate in treatment is the same for people ordered into treatment by the courts and those who entered treatment on their own.
William Bennett, former Drug Czar under President Bush, writes in the Washington Post: "One clear fact about drug treatment is that success in treatment is a function of time in treatment. And time in treatment is often a function of coercion -- being forced into treatment by a loved one, an employer or, as is often the case, the legal system. People who are forced to enter treatment under legal sanctions are more likely to complete treatment programs and thus more likely to get well…" Click here to read more.
In intervention, however, we do not force someone into treatment. We ask them to go. They make the final decision for themselves. We do, however, makes decisions to no longer do things that make it easy for the alcoholic to stay sick, and this often convinces reluctant alcoholics to get help."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 261
WOW... what a blessing to be part of this site... I read everyday and dont participate much unless the urge nudges me.
I know the homework is big, and the results may be even bigger... a happy live with an ever recovering alcholic for both of us.
I'm sure with most of you... your alcholics are fablous people but when the drink so much and so often, you have tendancy to forget what they are really like and eventually create a death wish because of the way we live it out.
I will re-read this all and make a contact or two. This may take a while but we need to start somewhere.
thanks and I'll keep reading on..... karen
I know the homework is big, and the results may be even bigger... a happy live with an ever recovering alcholic for both of us.
I'm sure with most of you... your alcholics are fablous people but when the drink so much and so often, you have tendancy to forget what they are really like and eventually create a death wish because of the way we live it out.
I will re-read this all and make a contact or two. This may take a while but we need to start somewhere.
thanks and I'll keep reading on..... karen
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Karen......glad this helps a bit. I know all the thoughts and feelings can be so over-whelming. I am really starting to understand how important the "one day at a time" advice it for ME! I get immobilized if I think/project/etc ahead any more than that, and it is not good for me or my family.
I am glad you have come out of "lurking-mode"........we need your voice,too! For whatever reason, we have all been brought to this site and we each bring with us a special gift or talent to be shared.
As for the intervention idea......like you said, do some reading;fact-finding. That is a good starting place. JMHO "NO More Letting Go" is the new book by Debra Jay. I am almost through it now (sadly) and I think I will reread it again. I am finding it to be very good.
Good luck; and I hope we will be hearing a lot more from you on these boards. Every question you ask and/or answer helps someone, but if you
were reading them in the past, you already know that.
p.s. One thing I did learn about interventions and I think I should point out........they are really about US and clarifying our own boundaries. We do the work. The A makes his own choice. But it helps with the "limbo".
My particular case was that we did not have enough leverage to move him into treatment (but by more "hands-off" that may now be changing). AH was boss/owner (workaholic,too!) of a very successful company, sole-bread-winner of our family, he had already moved out of our home (2 kids with me) although he paid all our expenses and unknown to me, had already found himself another woman/enabler at work. But.......alcoholism is a progressive disease and the kids and I found ways to begin our OWN recovery and that is progressive,too. We are doing better, he isn't. Who knows if he will eventually choose to do something, but I refuse to make it easier for him to stay sick.
(((Karen)))
I am glad you have come out of "lurking-mode"........we need your voice,too! For whatever reason, we have all been brought to this site and we each bring with us a special gift or talent to be shared.
As for the intervention idea......like you said, do some reading;fact-finding. That is a good starting place. JMHO "NO More Letting Go" is the new book by Debra Jay. I am almost through it now (sadly) and I think I will reread it again. I am finding it to be very good.
Good luck; and I hope we will be hearing a lot more from you on these boards. Every question you ask and/or answer helps someone, but if you
were reading them in the past, you already know that.
p.s. One thing I did learn about interventions and I think I should point out........they are really about US and clarifying our own boundaries. We do the work. The A makes his own choice. But it helps with the "limbo".
My particular case was that we did not have enough leverage to move him into treatment (but by more "hands-off" that may now be changing). AH was boss/owner (workaholic,too!) of a very successful company, sole-bread-winner of our family, he had already moved out of our home (2 kids with me) although he paid all our expenses and unknown to me, had already found himself another woman/enabler at work. But.......alcoholism is a progressive disease and the kids and I found ways to begin our OWN recovery and that is progressive,too. We are doing better, he isn't. Who knows if he will eventually choose to do something, but I refuse to make it easier for him to stay sick.
(((Karen)))
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