End of the Struggle
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Cynay, I think your growth is incredible. I also think it's great that 2 people can want 2 different things, be disappointed and sad, acknoweldge that and continue forward. That is maturity.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 689
Hi Cynay
I can see he is sad and disappointed that you have decided not to move in with him without being engaged. I guess I'm hearing mixed messages coming from him which can be very confusing with someone less strong than you are now (the kind of mixed messages that led to your confusion up to this point). From out here, it seems like he's struggling with owning his own stuff. But that's all based on the less-than-ideal communication in this virtual world.
What I am sure of is my respect for your self-knowledge and self-regard. I think your resolve to not risk moving in with your daughter at this time is really admirable. I think you're absolutely right -- if he felt comfortable and full in his commitment to you and the relationship, and what living together signified in that regard, he would not be conflicted about the symbolism of engagement.
Now you can take things on your your terms -- see how things progress, enjoy the relationship for what it can offer at this time, and assess going forward how much time you want to invest.
Enjoy the new house!
gf
I can see he is sad and disappointed that you have decided not to move in with him without being engaged. I guess I'm hearing mixed messages coming from him which can be very confusing with someone less strong than you are now (the kind of mixed messages that led to your confusion up to this point). From out here, it seems like he's struggling with owning his own stuff. But that's all based on the less-than-ideal communication in this virtual world.
What I am sure of is my respect for your self-knowledge and self-regard. I think your resolve to not risk moving in with your daughter at this time is really admirable. I think you're absolutely right -- if he felt comfortable and full in his commitment to you and the relationship, and what living together signified in that regard, he would not be conflicted about the symbolism of engagement.
Now you can take things on your your terms -- see how things progress, enjoy the relationship for what it can offer at this time, and assess going forward how much time you want to invest.
Enjoy the new house!
gf
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Thanks sooo much.
He is confused and giving me very mix messages... I can choose to be angry about it all or I can realize that when the tells me something it may be true at the moment, or wishful thinking .... but that he is not in the mind frame to actually committ... that is all well and good.
Yesterday my guardian angel was SO watcing out for me. I got a Refrig this would retail for about 1200, 25cf and I paided 500.00 I got a washer dryer for 200.00 and saw one in the used appliance store 650.00 ... I went to a garage sale and got an entertainment center that is perfect for my needs for 25.00 and Mr. R and I cleaned and painted the house. This morning I woke up and Mr. R is gone.... I have no doubt he is at my new home painting my daughters room and cleaning up the yard....
Im still going to Italy for 9 days with my daughter in July, Im still studying for my tests to advance my career, Im still working a program and have the ability now to spend more time focusing on only me, now I have a small almost perfect little home to share with my daughter and Im still dating a guy that brings me roses every week and cares enough about me not to lie about his feelings.
SO ... I cant see how anger should play a part in a life that I feel is very blessed.
AND I still have a family here that I can come to when Im confused and work things through!! I know Mr. R loves me and I know he is not ready.... this is all I need today.
He is confused and giving me very mix messages... I can choose to be angry about it all or I can realize that when the tells me something it may be true at the moment, or wishful thinking .... but that he is not in the mind frame to actually committ... that is all well and good.
Yesterday my guardian angel was SO watcing out for me. I got a Refrig this would retail for about 1200, 25cf and I paided 500.00 I got a washer dryer for 200.00 and saw one in the used appliance store 650.00 ... I went to a garage sale and got an entertainment center that is perfect for my needs for 25.00 and Mr. R and I cleaned and painted the house. This morning I woke up and Mr. R is gone.... I have no doubt he is at my new home painting my daughters room and cleaning up the yard....
Im still going to Italy for 9 days with my daughter in July, Im still studying for my tests to advance my career, Im still working a program and have the ability now to spend more time focusing on only me, now I have a small almost perfect little home to share with my daughter and Im still dating a guy that brings me roses every week and cares enough about me not to lie about his feelings.
SO ... I cant see how anger should play a part in a life that I feel is very blessed.
AND I still have a family here that I can come to when Im confused and work things through!! I know Mr. R loves me and I know he is not ready.... this is all I need today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 689
You sound in a great place of acceptance and appreciation. That's wonderful. There certainly isn't one proscribed script for love to follow.
And Italy in the summer? Quello รจ meraviglioso anche!
happy mother's day cynay,
gf
And Italy in the summer? Quello รจ meraviglioso anche!
happy mother's day cynay,
gf
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