louvella

I called the number for Al Anon in the phone book yesterday and got the answering service for AA. That operator had no clue why I was calling to get a number for Al Anon. She suggested I call the local hospital to find it. I was floored.

I called again, and got another gal who at least gave me some meeting times, but most of them were "closed". Nothing to go to for a newbie, it seemed.

So, I went online looking for stuff and found a listing of the meetings listed as Al Anon--and at the same time as the AA meetings), all closed. AND, the only meetings NOT at the usual meeting place were at MY CHURCH!!!

Last but not least....the meetings during the day are at noon. Night meetings are at 8:00. The DH comes home for lunch at noon and drives RIGHT BY the meeting place. I told this to the second operator who said to park at a place "close by" that wouldn't be conspicuous (public library). It would be my luck to do so and be walking the block to the building and have him drive by!

I'll get through this and get to a noon meeting one of these days. 8:00 is out of the question right now. BUT, how can one go to a closed meeting if you've never been to ANY meeting?

minnie

Hon, closed meetings means that they are only for al-anon members. Open meetings mean that anyone can go as well - alcoholics, professionals etc. AA meetings run along the same lines - us anons can go to the open meetings, but not the closed ones.

You are more than welcome to go to any of the al-anon ones!!

cwohio

that's bizarre! i've really not encountered the closed meeting thing in my area. wish i had som wisdom for you!

cwohio

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/grpsrvreqform.html

this is a link for on-line meetings - maybe that will help? good luck!

mushroom

I was under the impression that a closed AA meeting just means only alcoholics and not non alcoholics, like spouses or kids. Al Anon is for the friends and family of alcoholics. So what would a closed Al Anon meeting be?? no one quizzes you on why you're there. there's no membership roster to sign up on or dues to pay or qualifications to meet. Anyone who feels affected by someone else's drinking may consider themselves to be an Al Anon member. None of the meetings I go to are closed. We do get a few alcoholics in them, I know my AH told me that AA members are encouraged to attend Al Anon meetings to hear the pain they're causing other people, so I can only guess that a closed Al Anon meeting would mean No AA members unless they're also Al Anon and how many alcoholics do not have alcoholic relatives?? darn few I'm sure.

Why don't you go, and see what happens. I can't believe anyone would ask you to leave and so what if they did. It's really frustrating to be reaching out for help and have people be difficult about it when you're most vulnerable and most likely to just give up in frustration because you're not strong enough to work your way through the barriers. You don't need to go to newbie meetings, there's no secret techniques to learn, no handshake or anthem or anything like that. Just go and see what happens.

denny57

I think the only "closed" meetings to worry about are AA meetings. It seems different areas have different customs when it comes to closed Al-Anon meetings. The ones I attend usually just state something at the beginning saying we assume you are here because a loved one is affected by alcohol. So we ask if you share that you identify as such. And that's it. Don't let it keep you from going!

Done_With_It

Hey there,

I had a hard time finding al anon meetings also. I ended up finding an online-email meeting. I like it, because you can read it throughout the week on your own time. I had never heard of it before.

I can send you the info. if you'd like. Keep searching, you'll eventually find what you are looking for.


DWI

luvroses

We have some closed Alanon meetings in my area. It just means people can't attend who have not in some way been affected by alcohol. For instance, in open meetings anyone can go--professionals to observe, students (like for a class in school), etc. The closed AA meetings are the same way. No one really asks why someone is there or isn't there. I did go one time to a closed AA meeting even though I am an alanon member. I was invited to go by my sponsor who was in both programs and I knew most of the women in the meeting; they didn't have a problem with me being there. (It was a women's only step study group.) A lot of the Alanon meetings here have AA meetings going on at the same time next door so, through the past year, I have met a lot of members from both programs.

I did get a lot of benefit myself by attending a few AA meetings. It helped me see the other side.