Girlfriend

Has anyone ever picked up an addiction after living with an A or an addict? Have you ever had a loved one leave because of not being able to stop the addiction and then you try it to see what's so great about it that it took your loved one away from you? (OR, they chose to leave because of their need for the drug of choice OVER the family/marriage)

I did once. When I dated a male nurse that was hooked on crack. He hid it from me alot, but I got to the point to where I knew when he was high even while hiding it.

I found out he was doing it after he lied and said that he wasn't and I broke up with him right away. The first 5 months after we split up were complete hell for me. I missed him soooooooo much even though he was a crack addict and lied to me for months.

So, I tried crack cocaine for the first time about 3 months after he left just to see what was so doggone great and powerful about it. Thank God I didn't get hooked on it, but for awhile there, I lived in his "world" of crack. It wasn't great at all.

best

I have known a few who said... why fight it and then they joined in the misery, only to be sorry for it later. Out of the fire and into a hoter fire.
Using never solved anything.

princess9282001

My father has been an acoholic my whole life. Eventually my mom gave up on tryin to fix him and just joined in. They still are acoholics and I'm sure will be til the day they die. Sad but true. Im proud to say though it taught me a valuable lesson. That lesson is that drinking doesnt solve your problems. For that I am thank. My kids will never have to live the hell that I did being a child of acoholics.

ASpouse

No! I've always had way too much respect for any drugs or alcohol. They are powerful addictions and I've always respected the fact that they are much powerful than me.

I've done my share of drinking, I've done my share of drugs, but very fortunately for me, I've never become addicted and I believe it's because of the respect I have for the power they have to control us.

Zoey

I believe no substance is addictive, it is my body and my brain that causes me to become addicted to certain things.

Girlfriend you are lucky it didn't do the same for you that it did for him. You were too healthy. Both of these just my opinion.
Alcohol gives the alcoholic wonderful feelings it doesn' do for the non alcoholic. At least in the beginning.

CarolD

I totally agree.
I never became hooked on drugs...and I did many...
But alcohol mixed with my liver and brain enzymes..
ZAP!

Girlfriend

Hey everybody

I appreciate your replies!!

Princess, I'm so sorry! That must have been (and still is) very painful for you. GOOD FOR YOU to stand up against the addictions and not have that in your life or your kid's. You're breaking the cycle and that's a hard thing to do. Takes alot of strength. Keep going strong!

TomsGirl

I tried to keep up with my first husband's drinking when I first met him. He made fun of my "girlie" drinks so I tried to keep up on gin and tonics. I'm telling ya, I hate the taste of hard alcohol and drinking those things was like trying to drink battery acid. And being drunk with it's after affects did not make life better for me in any way. Guess I just wasn't cut out to be an A. Ok, coffee and cigarettes ... I'm guilty of those vices.

StandingStrong

I never joined in with the drinking as a way to throw in the towel and join him. I drank early on in our relationship and marriage. However, I knew that was not the lifestyle that I wanted for myself. And then to watch the spiraling downhill affect that drinking had on some of our friends and family members, well, it was enough to make me never want to be a part of that. I no longer drink and I haven't for many years. There have been times that I felt like I could when I've been angry or upset - but still, I don't want that to become a part of my life. There is enough alcoholism in my family to know that my risks are higher of being one - and I choose not too take the chance.

However, back to your subject - as I said, I have not joined in with the drinking and then found myself addicted. But after ah and I had seperated, I did notice that there things in my behaviour that mimicked ah's. This was (and still is) very scary for me. I'm working on changing those behaviours - no easy feat, but I'm trying.

sunshinebluesky

basically i probably could have written tg's reply. the coffee and cigs are the only things i enjoy,and thats not even all the time. hard liquor always ends up making the room spin,and me throw up,beer and wine--i get buzzed so quick,and if im not doing something,i usually will fall asleep,same with pot---speed was cool,till the weekend was over,and then it took me all damn week to recoup----just not fun to me and so not worth it. my joke,since the seventies--since the song came out-was i am the poster child for huey lewis' "I want a new drug"!!! i always said,its a good thing i never did find one i really liked. so-yes,i have joined them since i couldnt beat them,but it never worked for me. THANK GOD.

meli2005

Yes, I don't think it is that uncommon really. There is a good movie about it called "The Days of Wine and Roses". The wife joins the husband in his alcohol addiction. He eventually gets better, but she doesn't want to, so they split up. IT's a classic, you should rent it. Made in the 60s. Good look at addiction esp in those days. Also, joining in can be a sign of codependency. Glad you did not get hooked on crack.

Girlfriend

Hi Meli !!!

I haven't "seen" you in a long time. We'll have to catch up.


Yeah, I'm glad I didn't get hooked on it, either. I wonder sometimes whatever happened to him because he used to shoot it up his arms, too. That was before we dated and then I had heard he started doing that again after we stopped dating.

Sad.