Irondoorknob

I've heard many people talk about the fog that newly recovering alcoholics have. What is it exactly? Is there literture on it that I can read?

My AH has been out of a recovery program for six weeks now and he still seems distant, distracted, confused, hurt, scared, angry, but loving, caring, and engaged at times, etc.

Some days I feel like I'm not even present in his universe. Is this the fog?

Beautiful

Yes, and it can last for months. Probably a good resource for this answer would be the AA board where they can actually address first hand the nature of your question.

Good luck!

Zoey

Recovery is very difficult, for many every nerve in the body is screaming for the alcohol. That is why we relapse.
I was a light weight A, and was binges, so different from the heavy daily drinkers. I can sure get fog over any pain and discomfort. Pain and discomfort does that to anyone.
You should be able to check out recovery problems someplace .
Maybe go to Google and put in relapse. or anxiety and relapse.
Wish I could give you some sites.
I agree with Beautiful, the AA people would have some answers.
Drop down below here for form jump and go to AA board.

stacey4

My A/AH is in that FOG too after 60 days sober, I totally here ya! Hang in there, I guess that is what I am to do!
Stacey

CarolD

Hi Stacey

I did post links in the AA forum.
See if they help.

harleygirl92156

It was explained to me that just because the alcoholic quits drinking doesn't mean the alcoholic way of thinking stops immediately. It takes time for that alcoholic brain fog to lift and for them to actually come to reality and move from the alcoholic thinking to sane thinking. It is a gradual change and like others said it takes time.

Irondoorknob

Thanks everyone. As some of you may have noticed on other posts, I do not have an overabundance of patience. It is especially difficult when he says he is not "in love" with me any more, but still "loves" me. He also says he is abivalent about our marriage. But even though we are still separated, we are going to marriage counseling, he comes over every day, and we have dates arranged once a week. So while he may not feel the same, he is trying to make it work. It feels as though I've been in limbo a LONG TIME.

Any way, thanks for your words and thanks for listening.

harleygirl92156

Don't take too seriously what he says about how he feels this early in his recovery. My guess is he doesn't have a clue how he feels yet and if he is having feelings he doesn't know how to deal with them because he is use to drinking them under instead of dealing with them.
Sounds like he is giving it some effort so I wouldn't put a lot of stock in his words, focus on his actions, they seem to be telling a lot more truth.

Irondoorknob

HG, you have been a godsend to me. I really appreciate your words of wisdom and I will try to focus on his loving actions. Thank you so much.

Irondoorknob

Another question regarding the fog. My husband seems to be in denial about the needs of the children. He rationalizes working late. I know he finds dealing with them very stressful, but they need him to be a stable presence in their lives. And can't seem to commit to a regular schedule. Moreover, when he gets stressed about his work, the kids, and our relationship, he withdraws to his apartment to relax. This leaves me doing all the work in the house, trying to continue in my job, and dealing with the kids andger and my depression. Will he ever wake up?

robina

When a man says this, it is his way of saying the romantic attraction is over, but at the same time he doesn't want to hurt you.

I may be totally wrong in your case, but I have found this to be very true in my life.

And of course, the romance and love may grow again.

gelfling

Something I learned when my husband went into rehab. Though he didn't spend much time with our son, it was suggested he take half an hour a day in the beginning and force himself to be a part of his life. Over time, he looked forward to that time and a relationship started between the two.

Just a thought.