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Why, when my AH feels so good, do I feel like S?

Old 01-05-2006, 07:03 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
PupCa,hi,again,
This couple i know has been,happly married for 50 years.'She",picks out what he is going to wear that day."She"decides where they are going for that day,and what they will do,what they will eat,,etc,,etc.looks like "she" is da boss..lol.There is no alcoholism here.At first glance i made judgments,such as he has no life of his own.But being with them longer i realized that there was something there that i did not understand,between them.A spiritual connection.Both were happy,and both accepted.Not my cup of tea.But hey its working in their lives,so,really who am i to judge.?,,There are as many different kinds of marriages,as there are folks that are in them...smile...Today i dont compare our marriage to anyone elses.
You say that you deserve a husband to take care of you,,etc,,etc...Is your man this type of person?Some men dont out-wardly show carring,like bringing their wife flowers,,going out to dinner,cuddling,,,etc.But they do show that they care in other ways.Personally i dont compare,my marriage to others.Because when i did do this,i tried to force my hub,to be something that he was not.Trying to mold him,into being more of what i desired.It was when i let go,that he became the person that he was meant to be.The best of who he is.
I gave up trying to fingure out others.I was driving myself up that ever loving wall.So i stoped.lol.Hands of his recovery,making no judgements on his recovery,and working on my own recovery is what changed me,.After hub,s drinking for 30 years,and then sober,i didnt know who,he was.He was like a stranger to me,for i had never in my life seen him sober,and clear,of mind,as he progressing in his recovery.I let go,let God.Going One Day At A Time,trully.
There are a host of women out there who are married and feel all alone.Their hubs are at the golf course,hockey,business meetings,,and all kinds of stuff.Not unlike those of us who,s hubs are in recovery.,at meetings,helping others..Tolerance,and acceptance,of what is,rather than wishing they and things/folks were different,.This is what has helped me,.
Ive let go and let God.In stages,and it was a process for me.,but eventually let go...My marriage,is nothing like i dreamed about,or what i thought it should be.Putting this into God,s hands,its better,way better than i could ever have thought,possible,or dreament about.
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless,and take care!!!!!

Last edited by Cap3; 01-05-2006 at 07:14 AM. Reason: adding to
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