I need a sign
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
I need a sign
I was hoping that after all this time I would be able to handle all this better but I ca not.
After the last appointment went by without my wife showing up to the para-legal, I made another date and she did show on Thursday.
She was in a bad mood and of course late but there was something else wrong.
She did not look the same, her skin her figure; her whole “self” was different.
She started to gripe about the drive and then stuff that had happened years ago.
I told her that while she was here not arguing, that I wouldn’t have it, if so, she could leave.
After our work was done and some calm had filled the house for some reason we talked more.
She said she was sorry for the way she had acted and explained some things about what was happening to her. Her moving back in with her family and this OM she was with is leaving the state.
By the end of the year she will have no car to get around in, so she has little time to complete things.
She was not eating well and the cold weather was kicking her butt where she was staying.
I brought out the gift I had bought for her son, and also handed her a gift for herself.
She did not wait for Christmas, and opened it.
When I saw the tears in her eyes, I really did not know what to say or do.
I just wished her a Merry Christmas.
She was to spend Christmas with her parents and of course I never got an invite. It seems I’m blamed for a lot of this, no matter what really happened.
I know her son’s father will be they’re making his visit, but why am I still left out?
It looks like another holiday alone.
The rest of the time was ok together and we got along well and when it was time for her to go we hugged and she left.
I’ve tried to reach my Mom the last couple day’s but nothing. I’m a little worried to say the least.
It’s now Christmas Eve and I tell you I do not love it.
I’m tired and by myself again wondering if there will ever be some relief.
You see it’s way beyond what she or anyone else is doing. It’s about the way I feel now, about where I’m at and I’m not too happy right now. I miss my son , my wife and the whole family.
I just wish things were different, I just wish I had some sign that thing were going to be ok.
I hope everyone here has a nice holiday, and God bless.
After the last appointment went by without my wife showing up to the para-legal, I made another date and she did show on Thursday.
She was in a bad mood and of course late but there was something else wrong.
She did not look the same, her skin her figure; her whole “self” was different.
She started to gripe about the drive and then stuff that had happened years ago.
I told her that while she was here not arguing, that I wouldn’t have it, if so, she could leave.
After our work was done and some calm had filled the house for some reason we talked more.
She said she was sorry for the way she had acted and explained some things about what was happening to her. Her moving back in with her family and this OM she was with is leaving the state.
By the end of the year she will have no car to get around in, so she has little time to complete things.
She was not eating well and the cold weather was kicking her butt where she was staying.
I brought out the gift I had bought for her son, and also handed her a gift for herself.
She did not wait for Christmas, and opened it.
When I saw the tears in her eyes, I really did not know what to say or do.
I just wished her a Merry Christmas.
She was to spend Christmas with her parents and of course I never got an invite. It seems I’m blamed for a lot of this, no matter what really happened.
I know her son’s father will be they’re making his visit, but why am I still left out?
It looks like another holiday alone.
The rest of the time was ok together and we got along well and when it was time for her to go we hugged and she left.
I’ve tried to reach my Mom the last couple day’s but nothing. I’m a little worried to say the least.
It’s now Christmas Eve and I tell you I do not love it.
I’m tired and by myself again wondering if there will ever be some relief.
You see it’s way beyond what she or anyone else is doing. It’s about the way I feel now, about where I’m at and I’m not too happy right now. I miss my son , my wife and the whole family.
I just wish things were different, I just wish I had some sign that thing were going to be ok.
I hope everyone here has a nice holiday, and God bless.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Birthplace of Rock & Roll, Home of the Blues
Posts: 233
Hi Mr. C....
You did get a sign... she took the gift you bought for your son. If she hadn't come, would you have been able to get it to him? Yes, it's a small thing. But sometimes a small flame in the darkness is what we need.
Things will be okay for you!
It's always seems to be a rollercoaster with an A -
The good news, is you can choose not to go along for the ride. You can get off and get on with life for you any time you are ready to.
You have a truly beautiful heart, it shows through your posts. If you want, there will be someone else for you. Those are choices for you to make when it's time to make them.
I'll tell you what I've told my kids... if you can't come home for the holidays and don't want to go to friends, volunteer at a Mission, a church, a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, somewhere you can make a difference... and it will make a difference in you!
Mr. C.... Merry Christmas and I wish for you[COLOR=RoyalBlue] Peace![/COLOR]
River
You did get a sign... she took the gift you bought for your son. If she hadn't come, would you have been able to get it to him? Yes, it's a small thing. But sometimes a small flame in the darkness is what we need.
Things will be okay for you!
It's always seems to be a rollercoaster with an A -
The good news, is you can choose not to go along for the ride. You can get off and get on with life for you any time you are ready to.
You have a truly beautiful heart, it shows through your posts. If you want, there will be someone else for you. Those are choices for you to make when it's time to make them.
I'll tell you what I've told my kids... if you can't come home for the holidays and don't want to go to friends, volunteer at a Mission, a church, a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, somewhere you can make a difference... and it will make a difference in you!
Mr. C.... Merry Christmas and I wish for you[COLOR=RoyalBlue] Peace![/COLOR]
River
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Buffalo,WV
Posts: 47
I'm sending you a hug and wishing you peace. You seem like such a nice man...maybe too nice for your own good. I read your post and understand what you are going through. As for being with her and the family, I am alone tonight, my kids are with their dad today but will be home late tonight, it took me years to get through this day but I would go visit family. I had some elderly aunts and family I would visit with my mom. They have passed away now and today is getting easier for me. I usually have to stay busy but today I have just relaxed and enjoyed today...first time ever. Go to church tomorrow...visit someone....clean house if you have to...but don't let it get you down. It does sound like you are getting tired of being sick and tired...and like Id get is right...maybe that is where you need to be...I know it was for me...I had to get sick and tired of being treated that way...and my life is slowing starting to turn around...slow but I am getting there I think finally. I wish you a Merry Christmas...and a Christmas of peace in your heart...you deserve so much more it seems to me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
(((Mr.C)))......having a bleak time myself......UGH; I hate this.
Well, a few happy surprises have turned up, so I dare not appreciate them.........hope your holidays improve...if nothing else a nice nap might be good!
Keep posting.........I have the feeling this forum will be a busy place for the next few days. God bless you and Merry Christmas!
Well, a few happy surprises have turned up, so I dare not appreciate them.........hope your holidays improve...if nothing else a nice nap might be good!
Keep posting.........I have the feeling this forum will be a busy place for the next few days. God bless you and Merry Christmas!
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
Hi, I am sorry u are feeling out in the cold this holiday. I can see why u would miss her son and the family in general. I know it must be hard but try not to focus on why u are being blamed for the break up. Her family may have no clue what u have been through. I hope u can find some peace in the New Year. Just know u are being thought about!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
(((Mr C)))
What kind of sign are you looking for? I've seen plenty of signs in what you have written over the past months, but I guess they aren't the ones you are hoping for.
You ARE going to be OK. I truly believe that.
What kind of sign are you looking for? I've seen plenty of signs in what you have written over the past months, but I guess they aren't the ones you are hoping for.
You ARE going to be OK. I truly believe that.
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Hello,
Thank you all for writing. I hope your holiday were good for all of you.
I myself on Christmas Eve spent the evening with a friend and his family from program.
It was nice, but it was like there was something missing I felt out of place.
On Christmas morning I got a call from a girlfriend of mine and she invited me over for most of the day.
I did not expect this at all but it was great, I later went over to my sponsors for dinner.
I never got a call from my stepson or wife, you know I thought I would for some reason.
The lady that I spent the day with does mean a lot to me and I guess she showed me that she has a lot of feelings for me also. I had such a great time with her, I’ve known her for a few months and she is very sweet.
I’m not sure what I am looking for, I just know that all this stuff that has happened to me has really affected me.
I’m disappointed to say the least that everything I did do for them I did not even get so much as a phone call.
I think common courtesy and expectations are two different things. I also think that I’m done helping anyone but myself.
Thank you all for writing. I hope your holiday were good for all of you.
I myself on Christmas Eve spent the evening with a friend and his family from program.
It was nice, but it was like there was something missing I felt out of place.
On Christmas morning I got a call from a girlfriend of mine and she invited me over for most of the day.
I did not expect this at all but it was great, I later went over to my sponsors for dinner.
I never got a call from my stepson or wife, you know I thought I would for some reason.
The lady that I spent the day with does mean a lot to me and I guess she showed me that she has a lot of feelings for me also. I had such a great time with her, I’ve known her for a few months and she is very sweet.
I’m not sure what I am looking for, I just know that all this stuff that has happened to me has really affected me.
I’m disappointed to say the least that everything I did do for them I did not even get so much as a phone call.
I think common courtesy and expectations are two different things. I also think that I’m done helping anyone but myself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Glad to hear you got out and about during christmas... good for you.
You know I hate to so this, but again your expecting something.... you gave those gifts with expectations of common courtesy and in a way you might have been trying to manuplate the situation again... you thought that by reaching out on the holiday that you would receive back from them.... you keep setting yourself up. They are right it will change when you are sick and tired of being like this hon.
I pray that you got what you needed in that so you can move on with your life and start building what you deserve... you dont deserve that and if sometime in the future there comes a day when you can have a relationship with you step-son or wife... then deal with it then, but stop trying to buy bread at the hardware store sweets.
Here is wishing an amazing NEW Year for you!
You know I hate to so this, but again your expecting something.... you gave those gifts with expectations of common courtesy and in a way you might have been trying to manuplate the situation again... you thought that by reaching out on the holiday that you would receive back from them.... you keep setting yourself up. They are right it will change when you are sick and tired of being like this hon.
I pray that you got what you needed in that so you can move on with your life and start building what you deserve... you dont deserve that and if sometime in the future there comes a day when you can have a relationship with you step-son or wife... then deal with it then, but stop trying to buy bread at the hardware store sweets.
Here is wishing an amazing NEW Year for you!
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by Mr. Christian
I also think that I’m done helping anyone but myself.
Merry Christmas, Mr. C. You've just given yourself a gift... the priceless gift of serenity. It usually comes wrapped in detachment.
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Anger is often a good motivator toward change.
Sounds like you're getting sick and tired of being sick and tired...?
I'd be angry too, if people kept treating me like a piece of crap. Of course, I always have to ask whether I'm being victimized or I'm volunteering. When it's the latter, I generally end up angry at myself.
Either way, something ends up changing.
Sounds like you're getting sick and tired of being sick and tired...?
I'd be angry too, if people kept treating me like a piece of crap. Of course, I always have to ask whether I'm being victimized or I'm volunteering. When it's the latter, I generally end up angry at myself.
Either way, something ends up changing.
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