Wish I had someone to talk to
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Here is what happened:
Last Thursday my wife had called to confirm the appointment time for us to start our bankruptcy.
It was on Saturday at 11:00 am with the credit councilor, which you now have to go through since they changed the BK laws.
She told me she did want to work on this with me that she would be here and we would spend the day together.
When Saturday came I got a call 30-min before saying she would not make it.
No cash so no gas to get here.
I was furious to say the least and let her know that it was unacceptable.
Making any excuses for her actions of her lack of responsibility is out of the question.
I told her I would go it alone without her and she knew her ass was now on the line.
She was near tears and told me how sorry she was.
Calling on a pay phone outside where it was 24 degrees and no way to get down to me.
I held my ground and let her know that all this was unacceptable due to the fact she knew it was so important and I was not going to take care of her end of it.
I followed through with the appointment and took care of it the best I could for myself.
I had made breakfast for us and the home was clean and ready for her arrival.
The fireplace was lit and so were the candles on the mantle.
Her Christmas gift sat alone under my 2-ft plastic tree and I sat to ponder my next move.
All the months that have gone by and all the praying to God for my family and this is where I was at.
I could not take anymore and I broke down and cried, I could not stop the emotion from pouring out and I was hoping that this would not hit me again as it just did.
This goes way beyond any form of recovery for each of us.
This is just about my heart and feelings for who I love and what I had wanted out of life.
No thoughts of controlling an issue just common courtesy and caring.
Sadness for her.
Sadness for the situation.
Sadness for 2 people who were so very much in love and into each other.
I feel very alone today, no other way to put it.
Last Thursday my wife had called to confirm the appointment time for us to start our bankruptcy.
It was on Saturday at 11:00 am with the credit councilor, which you now have to go through since they changed the BK laws.
She told me she did want to work on this with me that she would be here and we would spend the day together.
When Saturday came I got a call 30-min before saying she would not make it.
No cash so no gas to get here.
I was furious to say the least and let her know that it was unacceptable.
Making any excuses for her actions of her lack of responsibility is out of the question.
I told her I would go it alone without her and she knew her ass was now on the line.
She was near tears and told me how sorry she was.
Calling on a pay phone outside where it was 24 degrees and no way to get down to me.
I held my ground and let her know that all this was unacceptable due to the fact she knew it was so important and I was not going to take care of her end of it.
I followed through with the appointment and took care of it the best I could for myself.
I had made breakfast for us and the home was clean and ready for her arrival.
The fireplace was lit and so were the candles on the mantle.
Her Christmas gift sat alone under my 2-ft plastic tree and I sat to ponder my next move.
All the months that have gone by and all the praying to God for my family and this is where I was at.
I could not take anymore and I broke down and cried, I could not stop the emotion from pouring out and I was hoping that this would not hit me again as it just did.
This goes way beyond any form of recovery for each of us.
This is just about my heart and feelings for who I love and what I had wanted out of life.
No thoughts of controlling an issue just common courtesy and caring.
Sadness for her.
Sadness for the situation.
Sadness for 2 people who were so very much in love and into each other.
I feel very alone today, no other way to put it.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
HUGS... Mr. C.. I know how bad it hurts. I know it doesn't help, but others are going through simular things. You let your hopes and expectations build. If you could just turn off all hope and expectations you wouldn't be so dissappointed.
You believed she would show, or wanted badly to believe, when we do that it is just sitting ourselves up for hurt. Dear C you know that.
Please,l just try again to turn off the hope and expectations, it sounds wrong and heartless, but with addiction it is all we can do.
It is good to come here and vent. Take care
You believed she would show, or wanted badly to believe, when we do that it is just sitting ourselves up for hurt. Dear C you know that.
Please,l just try again to turn off the hope and expectations, it sounds wrong and heartless, but with addiction it is all we can do.
It is good to come here and vent. Take care
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 407
We hope that others will behave the same way that we would and when they don't, we are hurt and disappointed. I am so sorry that you are feeling so low. I just wish that you cared as much about yourself as you do her. The loss of our dreams is so hard to live with but you will one day when you can finally let go of your past and look toward the future. Again, I am so sorry that you are hurting.
Hugs, Jo
Hugs, Jo
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Originally Posted by jojo
We hope that others will behave the same way that we would and when they don't, we are hurt and disappointed.
And it was hard to let go of.
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
Hi Mr. Christian, I am so sorry things went that way. what a doll u are to clean and having made breakfast. How disappointing for u. I think u did great with ur recovery. You could have enabled her, offered to go get her, offered her gas money. As hard as it is u handled it great. She doesn't deserve u, you seem very kind!!!
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Mr Christian,
I feel your pain, I am sorry...The holidays are stressful enough without all the added dis-appointments.
She is in a dark place, don't let her drag you down the hole with her.
There is another special person out there for you, you are a good man.
Remember, when one door closes, another one opens.
Dolly
I feel your pain, I am sorry...The holidays are stressful enough without all the added dis-appointments.
She is in a dark place, don't let her drag you down the hole with her.
There is another special person out there for you, you are a good man.
Remember, when one door closes, another one opens.
Dolly
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Mr. C
I really like what Clancy wrote to you. It is so true. It sounds like you went through
a lot of trouble to set the "scene" for her arrival. I can feel your pain.
I have to tell you I used to set the "scene" so many times and in the end
was always disappointed.
I have made a promise to myself that next year is going to be my year.
Everything that has happened this year is gone and a new one is waiting.
I hope the new year will be better for you.
My Christmas wish for you is that you will let go and let god.
In the meantime I feel your pain.....
I really like what Clancy wrote to you. It is so true. It sounds like you went through
a lot of trouble to set the "scene" for her arrival. I can feel your pain.
I have to tell you I used to set the "scene" so many times and in the end
was always disappointed.
I have made a promise to myself that next year is going to be my year.
Everything that has happened this year is gone and a new one is waiting.
I hope the new year will be better for you.
My Christmas wish for you is that you will let go and let god.
In the meantime I feel your pain.....
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Thank you all for writing.
Since this Saturday my wife had called twice both times concerned with the mess we were in and trying to make arrangements to get here and take care of her end.
I explained still again and she still wants to be part of all this but I told her it’s up to her, SHE need to be here, and SHE needs to do it, not I.
I just know I try to be loving , I really do, and try to deal with her and this mess we are in together.
It’s just hard, and harder when I feel like I’m in it alone.
Since this Saturday my wife had called twice both times concerned with the mess we were in and trying to make arrangements to get here and take care of her end.
I explained still again and she still wants to be part of all this but I told her it’s up to her, SHE need to be here, and SHE needs to do it, not I.
I just know I try to be loving , I really do, and try to deal with her and this mess we are in together.
It’s just hard, and harder when I feel like I’m in it alone.
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