I am doing a very good job at faking it...
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
Posts: 316
I am doing a very good job at faking it...
my husband is in the final round of interviews for a new job. A very good job. A job that will use all of his talents and pays very well.
It is also a job in which he will not be supervised closely.
In his current job he is in one building and has to punch in and out.
In this new job he will be in his car on his own all day everyday.
The thought of that is terrifying to me. I have security in knowing where he is when he is not at home.
Last time he has this kind of freedom in a job he drank to excess daily, drove drunk and ran us into near bankrupcy. At least this time he will be working for someone else and won't have the financial issues. Small comfort.
Maybe he won't get it. He really wants it. Professes left and right that he has learned his lesson and will never screw up again. That he will be sober and work hard and make me and himself proud.
I don't want him to be free. ACK...how controlling of me.
However, I have expressed my concerns once and then faked being happy that he keeps getting interviewed. Maybe I can fake it until I make it.
OK, time to remember what I know and just realize that in reality, I can not control any of this. Let it go...let it go...let it go. And maybe say a little prayer that he does not get this job.
Jenny
It is also a job in which he will not be supervised closely.
In his current job he is in one building and has to punch in and out.
In this new job he will be in his car on his own all day everyday.
The thought of that is terrifying to me. I have security in knowing where he is when he is not at home.
Last time he has this kind of freedom in a job he drank to excess daily, drove drunk and ran us into near bankrupcy. At least this time he will be working for someone else and won't have the financial issues. Small comfort.
Maybe he won't get it. He really wants it. Professes left and right that he has learned his lesson and will never screw up again. That he will be sober and work hard and make me and himself proud.
I don't want him to be free. ACK...how controlling of me.
However, I have expressed my concerns once and then faked being happy that he keeps getting interviewed. Maybe I can fake it until I make it.
OK, time to remember what I know and just realize that in reality, I can not control any of this. Let it go...let it go...let it go. And maybe say a little prayer that he does not get this job.
Jenny
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Jenny - that is SO understandable!!
Nah.... controlling is trying to MAKE someone do what you want not just wishing life was different or grieving a little less security. Now if you had threatened to leave him if he took the job becaase of the above THAT would be controlling.
Right now I'm glad D is safe with friends - I don't want him alone at home but I did NOTHING to make that happen so regardless of how I feel it'd struggle to be any control. Just as you have done NOTHING to prevent him taking the job - ie NOT tried to control.
Take care, it sounds like you really are doing a great job with something that's genuinely tough.
I don't want him to be free. ACK...how controlling of me.
Right now I'm glad D is safe with friends - I don't want him alone at home but I did NOTHING to make that happen so regardless of how I feel it'd struggle to be any control. Just as you have done NOTHING to prevent him taking the job - ie NOT tried to control.
Take care, it sounds like you really are doing a great job with something that's genuinely tough.
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