cassiek9

Well, I posted a while back about my dad getting out of an addiction recovery place after just 2 days there, and going to live with an old friend he knew years ago. People here suggested that he was looking for an "enabler" and you were all right. He's been drinking wine, because he thinks everyone would be more ok with it than Vodka. It's still the same poison, and leads to the same problems. Thanks for all your support, everyone. I was feeling too ashamed to come back here and post again because I really wanted to believe his lies, again. It was asked, how I felt about it? I feel hurt, and extremely deceived. His girlfriend of 12 years, now ex, says that he's not ready to stop drinking and getting on with life. He will keep going til he hits rock bottom. She's been getting support at Alanon, and I've been getting closer to her again. I must say I agree. It's time to back off and let him do his thing. I'll be here for him when he decides he wants my support.

cwohio

cassie - glad you are back. sorry to hear about your dad, but you are right. he will keep going until HE is ready to surrender. keep posting and don't feel ashamed - we have all been down that road of wanting to believe the lies.

pmaslan

Hey only a thought.....why don't you tag along with his ex to Alanon....
Couldn't hurt, ya think?
And BTW, no one here will say "I told you so"......many of us here have been up, down and all around with the alcoholic in our lives....no need to be embarrassed....
we are all in the same boat at one time or another......

Minx1969

Cassie,

Thanks for coming back and posting..We don't judge here since all of us have lived with alcoholism in one form or another..You will often hear that it is a cunning baffling disease..

You should consider going to Alanon as well..You will learn alot about the disease of alcoholism and should you chose how to apply the tools to deal with it in your life..

Good luck!

cassiek9

Thanks again for all the support everyone. As for tagging along with his ex, she's in another state. I would have to find a group nearby. But shouldn't be a big problem here in Portland if I do decide to look into it. It's amazing she's been such a mom to me since I was little when they got together. She's moving along so well and I am proud, because she's been going through a lot of pain as well.
So, everyone is right. It's just down to him, and what he chooses to do next. It's just a shame how all trust can be completely obliterated because of this disease.

Pick-a-name

We've all been there; I still spend time there, even though my "head" knows better, my heart tries to lead me there sometimes. It's natural. We all WANT to believe our loved one. I don't know about your dad, but for many ,many years my A/H WAS able to be believed and trusted. I am sorry to say, that is not the case right now. Like I said; sometimes I still forget that.

I am glad you are here. Thanks for posting this and reminding me again,too. You are a big help and you didn't even know it!

Please don't ever feel embarassed to be here!

minnie

(((Cassie)))

Good to see you back, although I wish it were with better news. As the others have said, we've all been there, done that and hoped for the best. So no need to feel any shame at all.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Cynay

Welcome back

No reason to be embarassed here... How do you think we learned... we did the same thing over and over and over.

You know its ok to love an Alcoholic right? I know it hurts and there comes a time when they can not be believed or trusted, but that does not mean you cant love them.

Please keep coming back and I would suggest trying some Al-anon for yourself, you can see its working well for your Dads ex.