Just a phase....??
too much on my plate!!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
I feel the exact same way, Jessica. Except I don't have fond memories of last Christmas or Thanksgiving, as C was drinking and when he came home for Christmas was a total dry drunk, as he didn't want to drink around me. I remember I bought a few bottles of wine to go with our Thanksgiving dinner. He never liked wine, so it was mainly for me. Before I knew it, he was drinking my wine, and I had one glass and he drank the whole bottle. It's like he was saying all of a sudden how he reallly liked wine, and that the bottle I picked out was so good, how come he never noticed it before. I think it was just because it was convienant that the wine was around for "festive" purposes with me, and he could drink it without me really noticing anything.
Anyway, I wanted to say I miss most the holidays in 2003 with C. Thats when he had gotten sober, and was working his program. I loved the person he was then. But I don't even know him now.
Anyway, I wanted to say I miss most the holidays in 2003 with C. Thats when he had gotten sober, and was working his program. I loved the person he was then. But I don't even know him now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Playing the tape to the end is like this.
We smiled at each other... snuggled before getting ready to go to my favorite resturant. We arrive and he is the picture of the romantic gentleman, there are flowers on the table, candles and wine chilling. We order and start with a glass of wine... having our salad... by the time the meal comes I notice he is on his 3 glass of wine ... it its such a lovely evening I say nothing.... by the time desert come I notice he is tense getting the waiter attention for his second after dinner drink.... Im concerned.... by the time the bill comes he can not stand up, he stumbles out the resturant door and we have a huge fight in the parking lot because I ask to drive... he decides Im a party pooper and takes off in the car telling me to get a cab. When I arrive home my makeup is runing down my face from crying, I have a headach from yelling and he is not home... I get no sleep till I hear him come in at 3 am.
When there is distance it seems we get as far as the first glass of wine and forget to "play the tape" through to the end.
We smiled at each other... snuggled before getting ready to go to my favorite resturant. We arrive and he is the picture of the romantic gentleman, there are flowers on the table, candles and wine chilling. We order and start with a glass of wine... having our salad... by the time the meal comes I notice he is on his 3 glass of wine ... it its such a lovely evening I say nothing.... by the time desert come I notice he is tense getting the waiter attention for his second after dinner drink.... Im concerned.... by the time the bill comes he can not stand up, he stumbles out the resturant door and we have a huge fight in the parking lot because I ask to drive... he decides Im a party pooper and takes off in the car telling me to get a cab. When I arrive home my makeup is runing down my face from crying, I have a headach from yelling and he is not home... I get no sleep till I hear him come in at 3 am.
When there is distance it seems we get as far as the first glass of wine and forget to "play the tape" through to the end.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
In think I realized why I'm struggling right now. He came over. Tonight was his third night in one week.
When he's here, sitting upstairs watching tv and interacting with the kids, it's just like he never left. Comfortable feelings of the past.
I sit on the couch or go about my business while he sits there with the kids and plays with them.
We don't even acknowledge that each other is there, unless it has something to do with the kids.
feelings of the past....
When he's here, sitting upstairs watching tv and interacting with the kids, it's just like he never left. Comfortable feelings of the past.
I sit on the couch or go about my business while he sits there with the kids and plays with them.
We don't even acknowledge that each other is there, unless it has something to do with the kids.
feelings of the past....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 351
This topic seems to touch on a universal theme ... watching a relationship fade away, mourning its passing along with the good memories and dreams for a happy future. I, too, am trying to determine if I am hanging on too much to the hope that the man I used to know would return ... and facing the reality that man may not even exist anymore and never will again.
Its a hard reality that means changing what I thought my future would be and realizing that the "good" man I knew is truly gone ... yet catching brief glimpses of the "good" guy ..tricking me into believing that things could return to the good old days. Briefly forgetting the many bad days. I have been through this hundreds of times only to watch him get worse... not better.
I also have had to change the way we handled our holidays ... but this is the third Christmas the kids and I will put up the decorations by ourselves .. and the old memories are fading replaced by new ones. I have just come to terms that this is a very real mourning process ... giving up on what we hoped and dreamed for our family's future ..and accepting that a different and, perhaps, even better future lies ahead.
Its a hard reality that means changing what I thought my future would be and realizing that the "good" man I knew is truly gone ... yet catching brief glimpses of the "good" guy ..tricking me into believing that things could return to the good old days. Briefly forgetting the many bad days. I have been through this hundreds of times only to watch him get worse... not better.
I also have had to change the way we handled our holidays ... but this is the third Christmas the kids and I will put up the decorations by ourselves .. and the old memories are fading replaced by new ones. I have just come to terms that this is a very real mourning process ... giving up on what we hoped and dreamed for our family's future ..and accepting that a different and, perhaps, even better future lies ahead.
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