sketscher

Since my xabf moved his stuff out I have only spoken to him twice at work.

I am trying to be nuetral. I don't want to hateful towards him. I don't want to seem sad. He knows what I want and he knows what his real problem is. He knows I care.

Yesterday lonliness set in on me. And I did miss him. I got out of the house and went to bookstore. Tried to atleast notice other men. Even went on a dating site. YUCK. I can't seem to truly forget about him.

But I must tell you guys that he did call last night AND I DID NOT ANSWER. Even though I miss him I just kept reminding myself of all that you guys have pointed out to me. His hooks etc. I am sure at that time of night he was drunk anyway so I did myself a great big favor. No crying myself to sleep last night while he passes out and remembers 1/3 of the conversation. NOT THIS TIME. YAY FOR ME.

Thanks for all your past support.

Brammy

Yes you are doing the right thing. Isn't it funny? I don't know about you but personally before I came to this site I thought that my A was something special in the wirld of As. Reading your post reminds me of so many nights of wanting not to answer the phone knowing his drunk time had come and answering it anyway only to regret it. Or how I think I am saying something really important (and it is) and the next day he's suprised to hear about it (again).

You are a wonderful person and will get over him. I second it ... YAY for U!!!

reader

Great Job Sketcher! You resisted the temptation. I know how loneliness can feel, and you obviously aren't really ready to date yet. Men can be a pain in the ass anyway. LOL who needs the headache. My men hating ways coming out again. At some point one may appeal to you. I now like alone time and I enjoy reading, quiet. My God, It sounds like I'm turning into an old lady. LoL. You have come a long way in your recovery. Enjoy the drama free time. Take Care, Kerry

splendra

Yay and yippie yi yo!!! For you ((((sketcher)))!!! Ya done good....

sketscher

I wanted to put a P.S. here. That logically I know it's a bad idea to look to get into dating again. And I am enjoying the peace of being alone.

On the other hand I think I am a bit jealous of these women I work with and their very active "love" lives. They too are co-dependants coming from relationships with a gambler and an abuser. Yet they are "dating" and bragging it all up. Makes me sad I suppose. And I am older.

I know it's bad idea to drive one nail out with another. I know these women are not at all role models for me. Or anyone for that matter. They are rather pathetic really. One girl I know has had several sexual partners over the last year for instance. I guess it's just hard trying to "do the right thing" and still feel sad and alone.

But I am glad to have this place to share my thoughts and know many of you understand.

splendra

You won't regret giving yourself time to get healthy and soon enough those other girls could be crying on your shoulder wanting to know how you did it.....

sketscher

Thanks splendra.
I know I have many self esteem issues I need to contend with. They have been with me way longer than my xabf was.

Celtica

It gets easier to not answer the phone. It's been four weeks for me since I booted my exABF. The last call was this past Tuesday and nothing since then- hopefully it stays that way.

I'm like you, I know I'm not ready for another relationship, but part of me wants to date- at least I thought I did. I've had this guy waiting in the wings, so to speak for a while now, and met him to watch a hockey game Friday. I told him I wanted to just be friends for now, and thought he might get it since he knows about my ex, but my gut's telling me he'll drive me nuts. Oh well....it'll work out the way it's supposed to.

Hang in there, you're definately doing the right thing, and it will get better, I promise!!