I got a new attitude

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10-15-2005, 11:14 AM

# 1 (permalink)

JessicaNAJ

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Location: Where the sun always shines!

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I got a new attitude

I don't care what my AH does. I don't care what anyone outside of myself and my kids do. I have wasted toooooo much time worrying and wondering what I'm doing wrong, what can I do to make things better, how can I make so and so happy, why don't this person like me, why is this person mad. I was driving myself nuts!!!

Things were falling apart around me. Everywhere I looked something was broke, or I had to this or had to do that. Or what is he doing, why didn't they call. I DON"T NEED THAT!!!! All that drama leads to stress and stress leads to a hard live.

It's my life. I don't want a hard life. I am the center of my attention. I need to take care of me so I can take care of my kids and I can't do that worrying about everyone else. To h*ll with what anyone else thinks. Its what I think of me that matters.

I can't change the world, but I can change me.

I hope to hang on to this attitude for a while

Wish me luck.

10-15-2005, 11:20 AM

# 2 (permalink)

cwohio

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jess - keep that thought!!!! hang in there - you're worth it!

10-15-2005, 11:34 AM

# 3 (permalink)

JessicaNAJ

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Thank you Chris. I feel sad sometimes when I think about really letting go, but I just can't keep going on like this. I don't want to be step on any more and I don't want to step on anyone else anymore. I need to do what is best for me and my kids and worrying about everyone else (SR NOT included) is not helping me at all!

10-15-2005, 01:03 PM

# 4 (permalink)

cwohio

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i know jess - ((((jess))))

10-15-2005, 01:45 PM

# 5 (permalink)

reader

Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!

Join Date: Jun 2005

Location: crownpoint newyork

Posts: 820

Hi Jessica, It sounds like you have a good plan. Remember a happy mom makes happy kids. Regardless, of what goes on around me I no longer let drama effect me or my kids. Years ago I was concerned about what people thought of me. I now don't bother to think like that. My family has learned to mind their own business. I have set boundries and they have to learn to deal with it. i will certainly wish you luck, keep that attitude, it helps me keep my sanity. LOL I always say to my self " If the world doesn't like it they can kiss my ass". Kinda rough sounding but it's the truth. Take care and keep up the good work. With love, Kerry

10-15-2005, 01:59 PM

# 6 (permalink)

pmaslan

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Join Date: Dec 2004

Location: Chicago, IL

Posts: 2,333

Hi Jess...
I liked you post. I used to feel the same way, I thought if I let go I would be missing something...I was right.
Since I have let go....
I have bought a new condo.
I have lost weight
I go for facials once a month (never did before)
Spend time with my girlfriends for the 1st time in years.
Met 2 incredibly nice Non-A men....
Love myself again....probably most important of all.
If I didn't let go....
I would be pacing the floors worrying about where he was
I would be wondering if he was coming home or not.
Eating junk food to calm myself....
Drinking a little too much too...to calm myself
Being alone with no friends around...
Stuck with a man that was in love with a bottle....
Letting go is not nothing to be sad about...
It is something to rejoice in....
Keep the great attitude......I love it

10-15-2005, 02:01 PM

# 7 (permalink)

Brammy

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Join Date: Sep 2005

Location: Columbus Ga

Posts: 68

You've had enough

Congrats Jessica

You just made your first step just as I did not too long ago. It will be hard, trust me I know. Temptation to check in is all around me. I find myself printing out things that help me onto three-holed paper so that when I feel my weakest, I can go back and read it. By the way, the guys here are great too if you just need to get it off your chest.

These are my two favs so far:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=73953
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=73886

Anytime I feel the weakness coming on I just pull these up and remind myself of my reality.

Keep it up and check out Alanon.

Stay Strong
Brammy

10-15-2005, 08:17 PM

# 8 (permalink)

JessicaNAJ

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Thank you guys!!!

I am at peace with myself for now and it feels great. I think what did it for me is when he said I didn't appreciate anything he did for me. And reading what you all had to say about that. I was sending the wrong message and at the same time I think I was hoping for a miracle.

I am starting to see the big picture now. AND I truly believe that G*D helps those who help themselves. Since I've stopped expecting things from him and looking for that miracle....my life is actually much smoother.