twice is nice

I just need input from someone...please! I am so incredibly angry with my A. We went away for the holiday and he was sober and happy the whole time. As soon as we get home he's drunk yet again!!! I know you're not supposed to get angry and yell and scream at them but I just lost it with him today. I am so mad!!!!!!! I'm starting a new job tomorrow and needed him to watch the kids so I could go run errands and now I can't do anything because he's passed out drunk and I don't trust him with the kids. (We have infant twins). I just want this to all be over. I'm nearing my breaking point and I'm scared to death. Does anyone know anything about family law? I'm afraid he'll get sober real quick and fight me for the kids which scares me to death. Not that he's capable of taking care of them. I've been trying hard to just look out for myself and get better but its really hard to do that when you have babies. I can't just pick up and leave the house when he's drinking. Anyone with small children been in my shoes???? Please advise. I just want to punch through a wall right now.

Hangin' In

I'm sorry for what you are going through right now. I wish I could offer some wisdom but I haven't walked in your shoes. The "A" in my life is my daughter.


But tell me this:

Does your husband admit he has a problem? Has he ever been in treatment?

I'm asking these questions because I'm thinking from a legal standpoint.

My prayers are with you and your children.

bikerprincess

I thought I would post and offer you a little bit of advice...although there are alot of "issues" that could be different. I was the mother of a 9 month old when I left my "A" he swears he wasn't using and his sobriety date is set before she was born but I concluded that he still was. I left because he was playing incredible head games and literally making my life hell. I live in the state of Missouri so our laws may be different, but $10,000.00 and one year of hell is what it cost me to fight custody. And I didn't "win" the divorce it was moot. He got the same rights as I did and I was petrified for her safety and my sanity. I do believe that there are a few things you should know and I will tell them to you as I SEE THEM. I may be wrong and I certainly don't mean to scare you. First of all be ready for HELL. If it is easy lucky you, but be ready for hell. Make sure you are prepared to have your life and all your painful "secrets" divulged. Your children will be given a seperate attorney, if there are any arguments or funny stuff. They are called Guardian Ad Litem. Secondly for me, my husband played horrible games on me.ie. not showing up at specified times, calling child abuse hotline, anything he could do to wear me down. Third of all, GO TO THE BEST CUSTODY ATTORNEY IN TOWN. There is a "semi" happy ending to to my story. About 3 yrs later we started to get along, and now both raise our daughter to the best of our ability. I am not telling you this to scare you or make you stay in an unhappy relationship, I am only telling you this for preparation. Good Luck

bikerprincess

Remember, You have a higher power to lean on. Everything will be alright. (I feel like I was too scary in my first post and I am sorry if it was too bold.) I just wish someone had prepared me as I was completely blind sided.

twice is nice

Yeah, I'm afraid it will be hell just like you say. I just want some peace in my life again. My A has been through treatment several months ago and does admit he is an A but just doesn't work his program for whatever reason. I think he's still in denial but he'll deny that too! He hasn't got out of bed all weekend which leaves me to do everything around here. It's so incredibly frustrating. How can you have two beautiful children and spend your time in bed drunk all the time???? I just don't get it. When you went through your divorce did you have to try to prove he was an A? And did you guys get joint custody? I know what you mean about being scared. I'm afraid he'll fall on the babies or drop them or drive with them. It's a constant fear that won't go away. I need to go to an AlAnon meeting. I haven't been in a week and I can sure tell! For today, I'll simply pray. Thanks for the input.