emily33

Do you ever just think you are so full of Sh****, I know what I want, but I do nothing to get it but whine and complain.

I know what I want to change, I even have solutions to change them. I am tired of needing someone else's approval for things I want.

Little by little I am going to change things that I want to make me happy, I want happiness.

I am following through with one of my boundaries today, and this is a baby step for me, but I have had it, and I need to do this for me.
I am going to put me and my comfort first because I deserve it. Wish me luck

Aquiana

The first step to cleaning out the Sh*** is admitting to being full of it? Noticing that action is needed in instead of whining and complaining about things is a big step if you ask me. I can be just terrible for knowing all the things I think suck about situations in my life but taking a darned long time to actually do something about it. Good luck on following through on your boundries today. Keep that foot down hard!

AUDRADAVID

Hi Emily- I Just Made My Boundary List- Have Not Yet Read It To Abf- But Plan For This Sunday- Usually A Very Calm Day For The Both Of Us- My Son At His Dads, No Work, Sleep In,ect. But My Biggest Fear Is That He Breaks A Bounday Where The Consequence Is Me Leaving- Like Stated In The List I Read To Him. So Congrats To U For Being So Strong- Let Me Know Everything That Happens-------many Hugggggs

emily33

I have learned that my boundaries are for me, not for my H. I dont even tell my H about my boundaries anymore, they are mine and he cant have them.

I am going to let my actions speak, my words have done no good.

I use to get very mixed up about setting boundaries for myself. I want to make sure that when I do set a boundary it is for me, because if I set them for him, I am sure to get disappointed and then I would be faced with either following through with what I said, or beating myself up and continuing to enable a alcoholic.

He dont even know about this boundary, and I guess it would be wrong for me to say he should. I deserve what I am going to take and I dont need to feel guilty about taking it.

I hope what I am trying to say makes sense

Thank you both for your good wishes.

walkingtheline

Sometimes it does help to tell them, Emily.

For instance, "I will no longer accept a ride with anyone who I feel has been drinking." That way he won't be surprised if you need to say "No, thanks."

Aquiana

You know what I thought of when you said this part. My thought kind of made me giggle although it's not really funny. I was thinking of how we set these boundries and we have to sit and talk ourselves out of feeling guilty about it but if we were more like them, there wouldn't even be a second thought. If abf wants something, he takes it. If he wants to go somewhere, he goes.

What we need is just a little bit of their ability to put everyone elses needs and opinions aside. It's the one thing I should be taking tips from abf on. Maybe he could offer me a class?

Cynay

OHHHHHHHHH Where do I sign up for that class.

FriendofBill

Good luck! and Good for you!