elizabeth1979

My ex called me an hour ago for the first time in 6 weeks since I asked him to move out.

I cried and cried and cried. I have been working on myself and trying to not be obsessive about him. I have been praying alot and spending time with God and trying to hear his will for my life.

He has money for me. He is working a good steady NON BAR job. Is buying a house, a car, and seems well.

I am so so proud of this man and for those of you who are not sure that detaching is in the addicts best interest...it is. He told me, "I may never have gotten off my a** if you hadn't thrown me out, There is no telling where I wouold be". He thanked me.

I am so happy for him I could cry.

robina

Good for you. Stories like this give a lot of hope to those who are still suffering. Blessings and love to you and your ex.

Robina

Gabe

Thanks for sharing something positive.
It gets real negative around here at times and it's good to have some balance.
I'm glad you have something to smile about Elizabeth.

Savana 54

My Xabf used to say the same thing to me when he was sober and working his program. Although he went back to the bottle after being sober for 13 months. Back then I gave him an ultimatum; either he quit drinking or I was going to leave him. A few days later he began going to AA meetings with his Grandfather.

I think at first he may have done it for me, but as he worked the program, I noticed he was doing it for himself.

I hope your ex can remain on his road to sobriety!

elizabeth1979

There was minimal conversation about reconciling, but that is not why I am happy.

I am so happy because he is working a program, because he wants to, not because I told him to do it.

I could hug everyone right now!!!

nocellphone

Thanks for sharing, elizabeth, and for the reminder that recovery works!

I received a call from my ex a few years after I asked her, in the interest of sanity and continued survival, to leave. I stayed in Florida, and she went back to NY. 1500 miles is a good buffer zone. There is an entire Seinfeld episode based on that premise...

During that call, amends were made in both directions and she told me that my asking her to leave was the "best thing that could have ever happened" to her. I knew all along that she had been my "bottom", but it never occurred to me that I had been hers, as well. We each hit bottom in that relationship, and we both made positive changes in our lives--separately!--as a result of that pain.

Today, it's 10 years later and she's still in NY (as far as I know) and I'm still in FL (as far as I know... ). The same boundaries exist between us that were put in place all those years ago, because they're healthy and they work. Those boundaries helped us to move on...

Thanks for triggering this memory for me today!

minnie

(((Sarah Elizabeth)))

Oh, I am so happy for you. I know you have been worried about him. Hopefully this will give you some peace.

I went to an open AA meeting tonight (the regular al-anon place is closed for a couple of weeks) and I heard 2 guys say that they are grateful to their wives for hitting their bottom and asking them to leave. It just hits home the point that when we take control of OUR recovery, miracles can happen.

Cynay

Thank you so much for sharing that and I could not be happier for you!

Sometimes I forget that miracles happen in recovery... I needed to hear that.

sunshinebluesky

i am not only impressed that he seems to have gotten control over his life,but also that he actually has money he owes you,that he wants to return. so nice to hear.....sometimes they realize it is all about us caring.

pmaslan

((( Sarah Elizabeth)))
I too am glad to hear a happy story for a change....
I know how you worry I think we all do to some degree.....
Glad to hear he is going to pay your back....I would feel
like I had won the lottery if mine paid me back...fat chance...
But,
I guess never say never..........
Love, patty

brdlvr2

Great news! Like the others have said, it's nice to hear a success story. Seems like that is the rare exception for the alcoholic to stop and stay stopped!

gelfling

Aaaahhhhh what an amazing post. You're getting better and he is too. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.