Aquiana

I can't even say anything really, just shake my head and roll my eyes. Abf has been drinking almost daily but at least not to excess... alright anything with him is excess but I mean he hasn't gotten tanked in a while I guess. He's been liveable. Until this morning when I got up to find a wet couch. Ewwwww!!!

So two things bring up the head shaking and eye rolling. One is that we just had this huge conversation about common sense. That's his favorite thing to throw at me when he figures I've done something he doesn't see as right. "You never use common sense." IMO is it not common sense to not drink to the point you wet your pants? It's not the first time it's happened and probably not the last. How about just having the knowledge that drinking often gets him into some sort of trouble? Common sense I'd think would mean to stop drinking. He's always complaining about my driving and yet who has a driver's license? He lost his, 4 impaireds....again where is his common sense?

The other thing that brought it on was that we went out the other night and there was a friend of his that was hammered. Abf was going on about how bad the guy was and how he'll sit there and drink till he's too drunk to move. He's one of those guys that says, "just one" and then goes on till 4 in the a.m. All I could do was look at him and think, "Doesn't that ring any bells?"

I guess I'm just ranting here because I know saying anything to him will fall on deaf ears.... if I hear one more thing about common sense though...

Savana 54

Ewww that is gross! I've heard of A's that wet the bed and their pants. I don't know if I could deal with that to well...LOL!

Is that considered late stages of alcoholism?

Sorry your having to deal with this Aquiana...Take care of yourself!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Aquiana))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))

cwohio

aquiana - we say duh but they just don't get it - it applies to everyone else BUT them! hope you are feeling ok and sorry to hear about the wet couch - been there.

FriendofBill

Denial is sooooooooooooo strong, isnt it?
He CAN see it in his friend,
but not himself.

Cunning...Baffling...powerful...

dax

Maybe putting a puppy training pad under him might give him a clue. dax

rivercitybelle

Aquiana

I was thinking of putting a diaper on him before he goes out.

I don't know much about the late stages of alcoholism but I think it's just a matter of him being a sound sleeper at the best of times and when he's passed out, a full orchestra can't wake him up. Or who knows, maybe somewhere in dreamland he thinks he actually went to the washroom I don't know. I talked to him today and I told him he had some laundry to do when he got home. He played dumb for the first couple of minutes till I said, "Do you want me to yell it out right here?" We were in public at the time. I wasn't mean about it, no point anyway, I just made it clear that I knew about it and expected him to clean it up. I'm not touching it!

I can't believe his denial with the friend either. Once again, no point in trying to point out the obvious to him. Just hoping on day he'll take a good, hard look in the mirror. He could have been talking about himself.

By the way, as far as how I am, I don't care what he did last night. Not raining on my parade today! I had my 24 week ultrasound today. There appears to be a healthy baby boy in there! I saw his hands and feet and a really strong little heart. Abf came and he got to see his face even. Said he had really clear features. I was flat on the table during that part and couldn't see. So I'm really excited today! Don't care what he does. I'm finer than ever, thanx guys!

minnie

Yay!!! Glad to hear the baby's doing great. Hope you are too. Can't believe it's 24 weeks already.

Funny you mention the mirror thing. I remember once when my ex and I were having one of our 4 hour "discussions", I tried to get him to look into the mirror, right into his own eyes. (Don't ask me why, I'm sure I thought I had a good reason!). He couldn't do it. He truly couldn't look himself in the eye. That terrified me.

Lakeside

Glad you are thinking about you and the baby! That is what is important.

I had a light bulb moment a while back when by AH was ranting and raving about me being lazy (haha!), no good, bad in bed blablalbla stuff, well, the light came on and I realize he was talking about himself and didn't even know it!! So now, when he gets into that kind of stuper, I just say, "yes, you are right" but in my mind I know we are really talking about him. It helps me get through those moments.
Good luck to you & your little one!