Horns,Pitchforks and my "A"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 175
Horns,Pitchforks and my "A"
Hi everyone..............
I am just sitting around here trying to imagine what will happen on Thursday when I go to court...there are so many things to figure out........ I am overwhelmed. I have no adult family here to lend a hand just my adult kids. Everything is so last minute ...cause if I don't get the order of protection It will be a nightmare! This is very scary!
The A is drunk again tonight....more confirmation that I am doing the right thing. I hope to God!
Tomorrow we are having a get together for his family.....ask me how bitter that pill is? I could scream! I want to take his parents upt to the attic to see the dead botles of Vodka all nealty lying in the rafters that he has kept for some unknown reason. Do I dare? Perhaps a viewing of the bottle of pills etc?
I am feelin like Cruellla tonight....anger wants me badly!
Horns and Pitchforks!
Love Kitty
I
I am just sitting around here trying to imagine what will happen on Thursday when I go to court...there are so many things to figure out........ I am overwhelmed. I have no adult family here to lend a hand just my adult kids. Everything is so last minute ...cause if I don't get the order of protection It will be a nightmare! This is very scary!
The A is drunk again tonight....more confirmation that I am doing the right thing. I hope to God!
Tomorrow we are having a get together for his family.....ask me how bitter that pill is? I could scream! I want to take his parents upt to the attic to see the dead botles of Vodka all nealty lying in the rafters that he has kept for some unknown reason. Do I dare? Perhaps a viewing of the bottle of pills etc?
I am feelin like Cruellla tonight....anger wants me badly!
Horns and Pitchforks!
Love Kitty
I
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Hey Kitty,
I know that taking them up there sounds like something that you would really want to do(cause I sure would want to), but I really don't think it would change anything. After all how long has it taken you to reach this point? I don't think that "throwing" evidence at them will help you in anyway. It kind of sounds like trying to justify what you're doing. I'm new at all this and certainly am not trying to tell you what to do, but I think you're on the right path, skip showing them and stick to your plan. Take a deep breath and a hot bath. Maybe read a good book or keep posting, but you WILL get throught this.
Just a friend searching for answers too.
Constant
I know that taking them up there sounds like something that you would really want to do(cause I sure would want to), but I really don't think it would change anything. After all how long has it taken you to reach this point? I don't think that "throwing" evidence at them will help you in anyway. It kind of sounds like trying to justify what you're doing. I'm new at all this and certainly am not trying to tell you what to do, but I think you're on the right path, skip showing them and stick to your plan. Take a deep breath and a hot bath. Maybe read a good book or keep posting, but you WILL get throught this.
Just a friend searching for answers too.
Constant
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 175
Thanks Constant...........
All along they have been so hands off with this. They ( the parents) both drink too, his dad is an A ..I am sure. They really make me mad....lousey parents...lousey Grandparents too. No support.
I just want to take that FORK and stick to them.
I won't......I don't want anyone to know what is up for Thursday....But boy I am going through some really serious ANGER tonight. Guess I see my pretty cush life going away and so much to handle on my own
Love Kitty
All along they have been so hands off with this. They ( the parents) both drink too, his dad is an A ..I am sure. They really make me mad....lousey parents...lousey Grandparents too. No support.
I just want to take that FORK and stick to them.
I won't......I don't want anyone to know what is up for Thursday....But boy I am going through some really serious ANGER tonight. Guess I see my pretty cush life going away and so much to handle on my own
Love Kitty
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hi Kitty
I agree with Constant that showing them will accomplish nothing. YOU know why you are leaving, and it really doesn't matter what other people know or think.
Anger is another poison we feed ourselves. Work through it as best you can and turn it over to your Higher Power. He is with you all the way.
And don't second guess court next week. I saw Ogly on the boards today, and the best advice she ever gave me was to stop second guessing the future. For me, that was probably the best advice I have every had from anyone. And don't second guess the problems that you may face away from your cush life. Your biggest problem will be gone, and the rest will be taken care of as needed. I am older than you and my experience with life is that I have been given EVERYTHING I need every single day. In the hard times, I have been given strength and courage to get through it and the hard times have ALWAYS taken me to a better place. It is all just part of the journey.
My prayers are with you. (God please keep Kitty away from the forks), and we are all here to support you all the way.
Remember...you will survive!!
I agree with Constant that showing them will accomplish nothing. YOU know why you are leaving, and it really doesn't matter what other people know or think.
Anger is another poison we feed ourselves. Work through it as best you can and turn it over to your Higher Power. He is with you all the way.
And don't second guess court next week. I saw Ogly on the boards today, and the best advice she ever gave me was to stop second guessing the future. For me, that was probably the best advice I have every had from anyone. And don't second guess the problems that you may face away from your cush life. Your biggest problem will be gone, and the rest will be taken care of as needed. I am older than you and my experience with life is that I have been given EVERYTHING I need every single day. In the hard times, I have been given strength and courage to get through it and the hard times have ALWAYS taken me to a better place. It is all just part of the journey.
My prayers are with you. (God please keep Kitty away from the forks), and we are all here to support you all the way.
Remember...you will survive!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
I can definately relate, I've been to my in-laws to visit his sister who came in town and back tomorrow to visit the brother. (of course they have kids so I feel obligated to take mine) My A is out of town, but I am still taking my kids to his A parents house because I think it is the "right" thing to do. I would never get the same consideration from him or his parents. I have a ton of anger towards my in-laws. They "fix" everything with alcohol. If you don't drink your "no fun." It is amazing that they have 5 kids and never put together that their drinking caused serious reprocussions for each and every one of their kids ranging from raging alcoholics, to anxiety and eating disorders!! I would love to borrow your pitch fork and stick a hiney or two, but it really wouldn't do any good.
Good luck with your court date. I'm sure you can do it. I keep watching and reading and learning! It is amazing how one day you wake up and it is like a big rock hit you in the head over night that opened your eyes to what ridiculous things we deal with.
Many blessings to you,
Constant
Good luck with your court date. I'm sure you can do it. I keep watching and reading and learning! It is amazing how one day you wake up and it is like a big rock hit you in the head over night that opened your eyes to what ridiculous things we deal with.
Many blessings to you,
Constant
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Kitty!
Don't forget what codependent worry warts we all are...on Thursday after court you had better check in! And often...at least daily after that...we all will be concerned about you!
Hugs,
JT
Don't forget what codependent worry warts we all are...on Thursday after court you had better check in! And often...at least daily after that...we all will be concerned about you!
Hugs,
JT
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hey Kitty,
Go for a run and burn off your anger. Maybe jog in place. Throw a few eggs. Tear your shirt. It will be over soon. They say the worst reaction is within 3 days of separation.
Make sure you have someone around then.
Let us know how it goes. You are only going to get more nervous this week. Excercise will help.
Do a few pull ups, lol. I've only been able to do one my whole life. So do a pull up.
Write down you anger. That might help. Just post, post, post.
Hugs,
MG
Go for a run and burn off your anger. Maybe jog in place. Throw a few eggs. Tear your shirt. It will be over soon. They say the worst reaction is within 3 days of separation.
Make sure you have someone around then.
Let us know how it goes. You are only going to get more nervous this week. Excercise will help.
Do a few pull ups, lol. I've only been able to do one my whole life. So do a pull up.
Write down you anger. That might help. Just post, post, post.
Hugs,
MG
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
********{Kitty}}}}}}
I sure know what its like to be angry but you know it never accomplishes anything. I hope things work out for you this week. Please keep us posted.
Take care.
Many hugs
Love,
Debbie
I sure know what its like to be angry but you know it never accomplishes anything. I hope things work out for you this week. Please keep us posted.
Take care.
Many hugs
Love,
Debbie
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 175
Hi Guys,
I sat late last night while my A, slept next to me and wrote a nice letter. Thanking him for the good things that he had done, times we had etc. and telling him to get help before it is toooooo late. I also let him know how angry I was how things had turned out.
In the final sentence I wished him well and love.
How was that? I meant what I said...cause I know I will miss him
jerk or not....12 years is a long time.
Love Kitty
I sat late last night while my A, slept next to me and wrote a nice letter. Thanking him for the good things that he had done, times we had etc. and telling him to get help before it is toooooo late. I also let him know how angry I was how things had turned out.
In the final sentence I wished him well and love.
How was that? I meant what I said...cause I know I will miss him
jerk or not....12 years is a long time.
Love Kitty
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Hi Kitty - that was the very best thing to do, not just for him, but for yourself, as well. I know how angry you have been/are over all you have been through, and how "paying him back" or getting some revenge seems like a very satisfying idea at times, but extending the olive branch always leaves a sweeter taste in your mouth. You may not ever get the chance to say what you said in your letter again. Writing the letter helped you to say what you needed to say, and it shows how good your heart is. Good for you, Kitty.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hi Kitty
The letter was a nice thing to do, for you and for him. It will leave nothing unsaid and help you put closure on this.
My prayers are with you this week. Turn it over to your Higher Power and then just show up and let life happen.
You will experience many emotions through all this, and that is okay. Just keep moving and life will get so very much better for you.
The letter was a nice thing to do, for you and for him. It will leave nothing unsaid and help you put closure on this.
My prayers are with you this week. Turn it over to your Higher Power and then just show up and let life happen.
You will experience many emotions through all this, and that is okay. Just keep moving and life will get so very much better for you.
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 18
Hey, Kitty,
You are doing the right thing and I will pray for you and am sendiing warm ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))).... Don't dwell on the "cush" life thingey, your peace and sanity are worth more than any material possession, and I know that from experience!I will keep you in my thoughts as I know everyone here will and keep coming back.......(((((((((((((HUGS AGAIN))))))))))))
Jamy
You are doing the right thing and I will pray for you and am sendiing warm ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))).... Don't dwell on the "cush" life thingey, your peace and sanity are worth more than any material possession, and I know that from experience!I will keep you in my thoughts as I know everyone here will and keep coming back.......(((((((((((((HUGS AGAIN))))))))))))
Jamy
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