JennyK

Last week at my therapy appointment I cried for the entire time.

This week, I did not shed a tear.

I know that it is due entirely to my husband not drinking. It is mind boggling how much difference that ONE fact makes in my life. It scares me. I thought that I had come so far in being able to take care of myself and knew how to live with it.

Yet, when it does not exist the change is so marked and the differences so vast, that I am certain I will never to back to that kind of life.

Interestly enough he did stop drinking for 3 months a few years ago and it felt very different. The therapist pushed me on this point, what IS the difference this time. I realized it really is not all about him (although he is very different), it is about the boundaries that I have set up.

The gift this week has given me is the knowledge that I will leave if I have to and if he starts to drink again, I will have to.

Jenny

Truth

it is amazing at what a small amount of time will do. i have noticed too that since my bf and i broke up that i have been focusing more on myself and that is helping me. I am going to CODA meetings and to therapy and writing in a journal and reaching out to friends. Today is a day I actually feel ok.

lillian

I know what you mean; I am noticing that I am sad when my husband is depressed, happier when he is happy and involved in his program. I don't like the idea of letting my moods be so easily directed by things out of my control.

JessicaNAJ

When I start feeling the effect of someone elses mood or actions, I kick myself in the rearend. I starting recognizing that as problem a few weeks ago. So I set my boundary - I won't let anyone else bring me down. I am in control of my moods and my actions. I will feel and do what I choose.

Hang in there Jenny - you're doing great!

Dreamsdeferred

I realize that I am also affected by other people's moods. Especially, my husbands. Recently, I have been trying to not let this happen. I tried to discuss something with him yesterday. It didn't go too well. Obviously, I am not to question his behavior. But anyway, he got really angry.

I decided that I would not let it ruin my day. And had a wonderful time dancing at my job's xmas party. He was not there. He had to work. Apparently later when I told him I had a great time, he was not too thrilled and began pouting. I ignored him and continued to describe what I thought was a wonderful day.