jsny

one more thought.............

it's so hard for me to stay away from my ex because i get so lonely. even when i'm around my friends, i feel sad, empty, and alone. i'm lonely now, but having you guys here to talk to helps out. i lost my father to cancer and took care of him for a year before he passed in front of me, but i must say this feels as bad if not worse? i think it's due to the fact that these problems have been here for so long, and buried and now it's all starting to unravel.

justin

TinyVoice

Justin, I know how you feel. I finally broke it off with my ABF. It took months to finally end it after I had asked him to leave. I kept going back to him...time and time again.....even after threats, fights...my friends and family would get so upset with me. But, why? I got something from him I needed. He loved me unconditionally. HE really did. But, what came with that love...I didn't need. It came at too high of a price. But, am I now lonely? Desperately so. And I have two children. THey hate to hear me say I'm lonely. I have them after all. But I miss being loved romantically. Even after all the fights and the threats, I still miss it....not him.....but "it". The hugs, kisses, intimacy, saying "I love you", hearing "I love you". For some reason, right now in my life I need that desperately. I just have to figure out how to give it to myself first.

TAlk to you later. Keep talking. You need to work through this. But you do need to really make a decision that this relationship is bad for both of you. Then work through all the emotions and get back on track. LEarn from this and move on.

hope2bhappy

My AH's addiction had a way of bringing out the absolute worst in me (and sometimes, still does). Before I started on my own recovery, I said and did some HORRIBLE things to him. I'm ashamed of myself as I sit here remembering how I used to be. We seemed to feed off of each other in our sicknesses. Unfortunately, we can't change the past, we can only learn from it and move on. Once you are able to really concentrate on yourself and on your own actions and reactions, you will begin to feel much better. The healing for you will begin. Read the books -- you will see yourself in the pages. Go to some meetings -- you will meet people who have been just where you are now.

jsny

I'm still here working on myself. she called last night twice and i didn't answer the phone. once at 5:30pm before she went to work, and then again once at 3:300am after work.

i'm reading the detachment section of "codp no more." hopefully things will look up.